meridian_rose

2 quick promos

For those who still visit LJ there's the therealljidol a competitive weekly elimination contest. You can sign up using your DW or Open Source ID. sign ups

This year smallfandombang is run from Dreamwidth though "If you don't have a DW account you may comment to the sign-up post(s), check-in posts, etc and also post your fic/art announcements to the comm with OpenID." (Sadly the FAQ now only allows comments from signed in users because people are assholes)
The minimum wordcount is 10k, sign ups for authors are open until 31 October, artist sign ups begin 1 November. Check out the comm for more details and see what counts as a small fandom.

Check out therealljidol! This time with prize money!

"The sign up sheet is still open https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/996363.html and will be until October 1st.

PLEASE share it. The more people who show up, the more fun this thing will be for everyone!

The Community Chest/"Purse" will be open until the very end of the season: https://therealljidol.dreamwidth.org/995415.html It is currently at $178.59!A reminder: half of it will be split between the Final Four! So, if my calculator is right, that's about $22.32 each - and growing!"

So go check it out writers :)

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I won't be playing this time around. I don't have the energy. My writing has suffered this year. I'm so far behind on the GYWO total I foolishly increased to 250k this year that it's not even funny just depressing. I'm hoping to do Yuletide again this year and more trope bingo and h/c bingo fills, and I post to my professional journals each week (often reusing older work with some edits but still). But the words aren't always coming easy and there's been personal upheavals and a friendship that ended very badly with her criticising my work for being too depressing and yeah, not fun.

So I'll be checking out the entries rather than writing, hoping to see some great stuff once again :)

I'm not pariticpating in the current round of therealljidol for various reasons (you can sign up until Wednesday if you'd like to). But I will probably read and vote. There's also scope to write non-voting entries for the prompts. This week's is "I need the struggle to feel alive". And I could not disagree more.

I take pleasure in completion of projects, and overcoming some obstacles. Think of an online game; you can complete tasks, save points, buy upgrades. Or you can pay for the upgrades. Which is more satisfying? The one where you put the work in. But constant struggling is not fun, not satisfying, not rewarding. Working witout achieving success is soul destroying.

Which brings me to apathy.

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference - Elie Wiesel

the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works - Samuel Johnson

My NaNo failures continue. I skipped a day yesterday, out for a Christmas Shopping & Meal Out with my sister and a movie on the night with family. I don't regret it but it means my wordcount deficit is now staggering, 10.5k, and if I write nothing today 12k.

I've posted a ficlet and a fic during NaNo, hoping feedback would help inspire me to do more. But no matter how many posts I make, or how much fic I post, or fic promo posts I post, I'm not getting comments on fic, barely any reblogs of tumblr posts. Same for journal entries I make, and comments I leave on entries and on fic; barely any response. I've made an effort to make more posts this month. I've made an effort to leave more comments on fic this month and got responses to less than half.

Apathy cannot kill my creative urge entirely but it can sap it enough that I see no reason to finish anything* or share it publicly, and jfc it's laughable to think about original work when fanfic (even about a popular ship) can't muster up enthusiasm from a built-in audience.**
I'm just feeling down for a few reasons right now, this is just one of them but it's a big one. Writing has always felt like who I am and if that's pointless, it's all pointless.***

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* 2 x 10k fics one in each of those same two fandoms, why bother? Because I made a commitment is all I've got right now.

** cue "oh you should only write for yourself and not care at all about audience"; if I write for myself and myself alone why post? I've got unposted fanfic novellas that are for me. If I'm posting it's because I'm sharing.
If I write you a personal email I'm talking to you, if I make a filtered post I'm talking to a select group of people, if I make a public post I'm saying "I exist, I am here, I have thoughts, I have made this thing, please listen and respond in kind."

*** cue "you should have more REAL interests"; you think real life friends haven't dropped me once they get spouses/kids, you think I should get a partner when society keeps making it clear that asexuals don't deserve relationships because sex is the be-all-and-end-all of partnerships. Or maybe you think my clerking job (which I do enjoy and get some satisfaction from) is a replacement for the desire to create and be heard? I'm tired of being told I should get more "real work"/be an editor/take up *insert non-creative activity here*; I'm looking to succeed in what I love, not do what anyone else thinks I should be doing.

Title: The Sun and the Moon
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen) - Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 815
Prompt: For therealljidol prompt "The Copernicus Effect"
Summary: Honor, the High Queen's vice-regent and close companion, discusses her with the newest addition to their group, the charming and somewhat ineffable MacBride.
Content Notes: No standard warnings apply.
( Read more... )

Title: Trapped
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Metafiction
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 933
Prompt: For the therealljidol prompt "crabs in a barrel"
Summary: The self-aware characters find themselves stranded in a town from which the inhabitants don't want them to escape.
Content Notes: No standard warnings apply.

( Read more... )

Title: Watching the Stars
Fandom: Original
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1154
Prompt: For the therealljidol prompt "In the garden"
Summary: Writer's Block hurts
Content Notes: No standard warnings apply.

( Read more... )