meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
I'm not really back yet, though I'm feeling better and working on editing my Small Fandom Big Bang. I'm looking at my inbox which has 50 items and feeling too overwhelmed to deal with that yet however.

I do want to share this though, something non-fiction related which I dashed off and posted to Tumblr.

Silencing Women

I watched Murdoch Mysteries s13e01 Troublemakers and the Georgian set Canadian crime drama in this episode was looking at female suffrage, i.e. allowing women to vote.
There was opposition from men. There was opposition from women, one in particular, a society lady who told titular Detective Murdoch that his wife, a respected doctor, was in the wrong for being a suffragette and wanting the vote, that she and those speaking in favour were "leading women astray."

She claimed that "It denigrates women. We are the moral centre of society; we should not be sullying ourselves with politics."

What struck me was how this statement has and continues to be applied to women on any number of issues. That women are easily 'denigrated' if they don't 'behave properly'.

Change sullying ourselves with politics for "business matters" "higher education" "the military" "the law" "the medical profession" "writing" - women have had to fight for acceptance to every profession there is.

Change sullying with politics for "reading novels"; from When Novels Were Bad For You an op-talk article from the nytimes:

“In Madame Bovary, I think Flaubert is channeling a century of worries about young women as particularly susceptible to the fantasies they find in novels and the seductions of reading,” Margaret Cohen, a professor of French language, literature and civilization, told Op-Talk.
From the late 18th century through the middle of the 19th, she added, women “were considered to be in danger of not being able to differentiate between fiction and life.”


Change politics for "writing", for "writing fanfiction" for "being in fandom", for "shipping x" (and even if you're not a shipper you probably can think of at least one ship that's caused outrage and harassment).

This latest toxic phase of fandom, the anti-shippers who bully and harass and dogpile shippers - often sending rape/death threats and/or suicide baiting - is not truly about the ship in question. This latest round of fandom policing is not about making society better but keeping the status quo, of trying to 'protect' women from being lead astray. It claims women can't tell fiction from reality and that if they read a story about an abusive relationship they will idealise it and seek out a similar relationship, too muddle-headed to realise they are being abused.
Trying to control what people ship and accusing them of crimes (e.g. calling someone a pedophile if they enjoy a ship between the 'wrong' adult characters who have any sort of age gap) is not really about protecting women. Bullying and false accusations cause harm.

It is about sexism, and sexism that comes, as that episode noted, as much from other women as it does from men. They want to keep women from "sullying" themselves, "denigrating" themselves, no matter how much the women they're trying "protect" would rather have agency and make their own choices and take responsibility for their own actions.

When someone says they're trying to "protect women from thinking abuse is bad" by harassing shippers, they are echoing the same ideas as those who would deny women the right to work, to vote, to have control over their own bodies, or to otherwise be full participants in society.
meridian_rose: Darken Rahl (legend of the seeker) head in hands with text ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST (angst)
It's annual asexual awareness week. I've written a lot in previous years about the awareness weeks, about my asexual identity, and I write and continue to write fiction exploring and/or including asexuality.
You can find all those posts under the theme: asexuality spectrum tag, the non sexual intimacy and the sexuality tag

This post is going to talk about asexuality and fiction, along with some deeply personal stories, and a fair bit of talk about the anti/fandom policing currently doing the rounds. Because these things are interlinked, where

1) what you ship, read or write/draw now determines if you're a good person or a filthy p*do/n*zi and harassing people over fiction has become activism
2) exclusionism in the queer community leads to attacking people over their own sexual orientation/labels and makes for tight-knit circles where you have to conform to their beliefs, with a similar insulating effect in fandom anti-shipping circles
3) Your sexual orientation, sex, and gender, are often considered to be indicators of what you are allowed to like in fiction (you can't be a lesbian and ship a m/f ship, you can't write m/m ships unless you're a gay man, women reading m/m fic are "gross Fujoshis", etc)

There's also been a huge rise in ageism and it's mostly misogynistic (fandom mom used as an insult, calling people hags, telling women they should be doing their taxes and looking after their children instead of being in fandom spaces) but that's a slightly separate, if related issue from the sexual orientation one.

This year, despite the discourse/drama/wank over Neil Gaiman refusing to call Aziraphale and Crowley "gay men in a sexual relationship" and daring to acknowledge nonbinary people and asexuality exist, there's been a lovely amount of Good Omens fic and art that is non sexual in nature, some romantic, some queerplatonic. People have been good at tagging their work so it's easy to find/exclude things you don't want to read.
I've been writing h/c fic, I even wrote fluff (very rare for me), and I explored the idea of non-binary Crowley which was something new for me. I've been enjoying looking at exploring intimacy with care and respect for boundaries, and showing deep devotion that isn't rooted in sex.

However there's also been a lot of ace hate and exclusion on Tumblr and Twitter as a whole leading me to block many accounts. I wrote a bit about exclusionism in the queer community for one of this month's writingwednesday posts. I have to say, aside from one upsetting exchange with a family member and one online straight female who was proud of saying "zucchini*! Because asexuals are emotional vegetables!", most of the ace hate and marginalisation I have seen and experienced has come from other queer people.

*zucchini is a term sometimes used within queer platonic relationships, especially for an aroace person to describe their partner "They're my zucchini."
Read more... )
I honestly expected things to get better over the years. And while in some respects they have, the pushback against asexuality and bisexuality has been unexpected and unwelcome, along with the return of "gay ships are bad because I say so" and the rise of "the shipper of anything I don't like is evil and probably a pedophile".
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
text reads be creative with sketch of a light bulb. photo credit to pexels

I am a writer and I am not sorry for that.
I write what I want to write.
I write what brings me joy.
I write what lets me express and explore my pain.
I write the things I want to read.
I write, inspired by others.
I write to challenge myself.
I write for others on occasion.
I write for myself.
I write also what I need to write.
I am a writer and I am not sorry.


My writing statement, September 2018.

What and why do you write? Scott Russell Saunders, author of The Most Human of Arts, gives a list of reasons we need stories. These include teaching us to be human, to educate our desires, to show us consequences, to teach us empathy by looking through the eyes of other people, to delight in language, and to create community.

Are you apologetic about your writing? Do you feel uncomfortable using that label? If not, did you ever? Has anyone made you feel uncomfortable about what you write by criticising you for writing “dark” or “problematic” fiction? How do you get past negative reviews or rejections?

Think about your writing and maybe write your own statement that says “I am a writer…” and see what comes up for you, what is most important or relevant to you right now. Are there are any surprises? Or are you secure in your approach to writing?

I’d love to see what you come up with.

This was originally posted to my professional blogs:
wordpress ; tumblr ; twitter ; pinterest ; facebook
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)


excerpt: Sometimes I think we write to explore the things most important to us. Sometimes however we write to explore other ways of being. Sometimes we don’t write about the things that we hold dear because of fear or anxiety; fear of exposing parts of ourselves, of “doing it wrong”, of being labelled in a certain way because of what we’ve sent out into the world, or perhaps because it feels too close for comfort.

Article: On Asexual Characters – as an asexual, I should write them more wordpress
tumblr;twitter;pinterest;facebook
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
For the [community profile] trope_bingo prompt "tall tale", 642 words of meta about folklore Dacey Allora, featured in my WiP novel referred to by it's in progress title of Juliet.
Read more... )
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
It's not straight washing to give a queer character a different queer identity. Canon sexualities (presumed, they're not often stated especially for het characters) are changed all the time for slash purposes and mixed sex OT3s. A character doesn't have to be "Straight" or "A Gay" just because you think canon says so.
The split attraction model is a thing.
Sexual fluidity is a thing. Questioning is a thing. Preferring an umbrella term like queer is a thing.
Bisexuality is a thing.
Seriously, bisexuality is a thing, it needs repeating apparently.
It's not desexualising a character to read them as asexual.
You can can ship asexual characters romantically or platonically; also demisexuality and gray-asexuality exist.
Seriously, you can love someone without having sex with them.
So panromantic asexuals, biromantic lesbians, demisexual bisexuals, and pretty much any other labels you want are available. Especially for fictional characters, who let us explore questions of sexual orientation and identity in ways we could not otherwise do.



Originally posted to Tumblr. I have some specific examples in mind here but I'm generally irritated at the policing of sexuality going on and the subsequent erasure of romantic and sexual orientations that aren't "straight or gay/lesbian".
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
(This article was originally posted to my wordpress account)

(base image from the Wikimedia Commons here and stamp image from here)

"Justified", an American crime drama series based on Elmore Leonard's short story "Fire in the Hole" is currently airing on UK TV station Spike (Thursdays, 11pm) and, sadly, this is the final series/season of the show.

Starring Timothy Olyphant as Raylan Givens, an old-time lawman in character, who is actually a modern day US Marshall in Kentucky, the series has long pitted him against antagonist Boyd Crowder (Walton Goggins) and both Raylan and Boyd have been involved with Ava Crowder (Joelle Carter).

Despite Boyd's faults (and they are legion) the show has always tried to find the humanity in all of the characters – who can forget how Boyd tried to go straight, only to get sucked back into bad habits? And as the show inches toward the conclusion I find what I want is for Boyd and Ava to run away somewhere without an extradition treaty. For Raylan to get a postcard from them. For the final scene to be Raylan joining them on a beach, bringing a bottle of bourbon because surely they've missed real Kentucky bourbon. All three of them sitting drinking and looking at the water, at peace with their past and content with the present.

I've seen enough spoilers to know that's never going to happen.

There is, of course, always fanfic.

Justified, FX Productions, 2010-2015; the official website for the show is here
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
I've finally responded to all the comments on my previous personal (BAG) post, I think. Apoloiges for the delay, and posting my next update before replying to the comments on the previous one. After my much needed rant I took a very short break and I seem to have been playing catch-up ever since - see also ISP issues, below.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my post, which received a decent amount of attention at Tumblr too. I've polished it up and posted it to my professional blog and promo'd at my professional Tumblr: The Myth of the Relationship Hierarchy Strikes Again wordpress tumblr
I'll reblog the original post with links to the professional post when my ISP lets me properly access resource hungry sites like Tumblr/Feedly/Facebook/Photobucket. I'm having serious issues with Virgin Media and from what I've read, I'm not the only one.

I posted a brief note/mini meta about Leverage's Parker here

I've got three trope bingo fills to post and then I can claim bingo, fingers crossed.

It snowed briefly today, didn't settle, but highly unusual for this time of year in the West Midlands. We're almost at Mayday, Beltaine, where is our late spring weather?
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
picture of an open book with an illustration of a pipe, and an actual pipe
(image composite from images found at pixabay x,x)

Some cultural artefacts become so well known that they can be used as shorthand to express ideas and concepts. For example, movies like "Terminator" and "Robocop" made the idea of cyborgs, any being with both organic and mechanical parts, more visible to the general public.

So it is with Sherlock Holmes, widely read and studied in-depth for many years. Media analysis has adopted the terms Watsonian and Doylist, referring to the Sherlock Holmes fiction written by Arthur Conan Doyle. The ideas behind the two terms are useful when discussing any media artefact and TV Tropes mentions that the terms may have originated or at least been popularized by the Lois McMaster Bujold fan mailing list.

Read more... )
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base image source


Sex is Not Vital For a Loving Relationship (No matter what real or fictional therapists tell you)
Excerpt: This supposed professional just denied the existence of asexuality. She erased the right of not just asexuals, but people with physical disabilities which preclude sex, to be in a "loving relationship". She basically implied that survivors of sexual trauma need to have/resume having sex or they cannot be loved.

Originally posted to my wordpress
read more )
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
This article has been crossposted to my Wordpress blog.

image from Morguefile

Imagine someone you care about, a relative or a close friend, has a long term physical ailment. Let's say they have a bad back. Now let's add that they've been ill with a cold and a sneeze has aggravated their problems so they're suffering more than normal.

Do you think it is reasonable to shout at them for not putting away groceries, given that it would not be impossible but would be painful for them to reach up to a cupboard?

If they're feeling down because they haven't been able to go out and go shopping or meet friends, because they've been ill, is it okay to get angry with them for being upset about it? Or to refuse to take them shopping, further isolating them, because they're over emotional?

You have free minutes on your mobile and it's no problem to phone their landline or their mobile. If they prefer you call the mobile, physically easier to get to, rather than the landline, do you make this small accommodation? Or do you refuse to talk to them at all because they're just making a fuss?

Now, imagine the issue isn't a bad back but a mental illness.Read more... )
meridian_rose: Actor Gregg Chillin facing the camera smiling with two thumbs up (davincisdemons)
Season 3 Episode 7 Alis Volat Proplis
Spoilers. Recap and review in which I am angry at how heterocentrism rears its head. Also, how to get on my bad side: be mean to Vanessa. Lorenzo and Laura I am looking at you. With a side of screw the Crusade.
Read more... )
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Rarely does a week go by without my seeing an article that talks about sex, and how someone is not happy they are not getting enough of it. Regardless of the tone of the article however, there is the horror of the comment section.

There'll be some sensible comments.

There'll also be hordes of apparently sex-mad commentators who are keen to insist that there is no pleasure compared to that of using someone else's body to gratify your needs. That someone who isn't being fucked isn't worthy of existing, let alone being in a relationship.

If someone isn't having sex with you? Dump them. You've been together five years? Still dump them. You really love them and you've got a child together? Dump them anyway.

This week it's this article, in the Guardian
Read more... )


This article was originally posted to my WordPress account: https://lmdee.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/asexual-erasure-insults/

I'll add here that while I am more angry than sad, it's not the best start to a Monday to be told your sole purpose in life is to be someone's fucktoy.

I'm currently working on a polyamory fic, which may never be finished. A is having sex with B sometimes. B has just started having sex with C. A has feelings for C, but C can't reciprocate sexually but comes to the conclusion they are bi-romantic and can reciprocate romantically. OT3-ever-after.

And while it's still important to me that this happens, that the conversation that sex is not the sole, not the "ultimate" expression of affection, in many ways I'm preaching to the choir. The people reading fanfic, in particular slash fic and polyamory, and original queer fiction are already more likely onboard with this idea. Not everyone, but a larger percentage of the audience than that of a general newspaper. The people who most need to learn that gender and sex and sexuality are not nearly so black and white as they'd like to think will avoid anything that threatens their comfortable worldview.
meridian_rose: Actor Gregg Chillin facing the camera smiling with two thumbs up (davincisdemons)
This is not going to be the same format as my previous reviews but then this is one whole big mess of an episode. If you thought it was "best episode ever" then you probably don't want to read this.
Read more... )
meridian_rose: Actor Gregg Chillin facing the camera smiling with two thumbs up (davincisdemons)
I'm going to follow the plot rather than grouping by characters this time. Plus there are some gifs and pics and my crack fanart. This is a recap/review with my side comments and fangirling.
SPOILERS abound.
Read more... )
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
Da Vinci's Demons s3e2: Abbadon
My rambling review/meta about the episode with some side conversations and a couple of pics and gifs. SPOILERS.
Read more... )

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