meridian_rose: crowley and aziraphale in good omens s1 finale at the ritz with text reading "you're my best best friend" (good omens)
To Trust One Another (4441 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: Whumptober, whumptober2019, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Relationship, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Hair Brushing, Sharing a Bed, Dreams and Nightmares, Male Crowley (Good Omens), Female Crowley (Good Omens), Misunderstandings, Confessions, Crowley Has Long Hair (Good Omens), Crowley Has Self-Esteem Issues (Good Omens), Depressed Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley will not stand for sexual harassment, Moving In Together, Trust Issues, Aziraphale has Issues

Summary: Crowley choked back a sob. When he turned, Aziraphale's heart sank at the tear-stained face. "You don't trust me," Crowley wailed.
How on earth had he reached that conclusion?

Aziraphale and Crowley have a frank discussion on developing intimacy in their relationship, which comes to involve sleeping in the same bed. Or Crowley sleeps but Aziraphale doesn't, and when Crowley finds out he jumps to the wrong conclusion entirely. This forces Aziraphale to calm the distraught Crowley by confessing something he's kept private for millennia.



For the For Whumptober 2019 prompt 14. Tear-stained and the [community profile] hc_bingo prompt "forced to uncover past trauma"
meridian_rose: crowley and aziraphale in good omens s1 finale at the ritz with text reading "you're my best best friend" (good omens)
You're Perfect (1312 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Romance, nonsexual intimacy, physical intimacy (nonsexual), Body Worship, Hair Brushing, Bathing/Washing, Sharing a Bed, Kissing, Explicit Consent, Trust, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, Wing Grooming, Foot Massage, Belly Kink, Aziraphale's soft tummy, Soft Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Slow Dancing, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Relationship, No Plot/Plotless, No Sex, Hugs, Belly buttons, Declarations Of Love
Summary:

Slowly and carefully they explore physical intimacies from hair brushing to wing grooming to Crowley worshipping Aziraphale's body as much as the angel will consent to.

meridian_rose: crowley and aziraphale in good omens s1 finale at the ritz with text reading "you're my best best friend" (good omens)
Sleeping Crowley (3581 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley & Anathema Device & Newton Pulsifer
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Adam Young (Good Omens), Anathema Device, The Them (Good Omens), Newton Pulsifer, Gabriel (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: Sleeping Beauty Elements, Fairy Tale Elements, Coma, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Whump, Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Worried Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has Long Hair (Good Omens), Forehead Kisses, Forehead Touching, Post-Canon, Power of Words, Power of Stories, bridal carry, Stabbing, nonsexual intimacy, can probably be platonic or romantic?, very mildly romantic?


Summary:

Crowley and Aziraphale travel to Tadfield for a picnic with Anathema, Newt, Adam, and his friends. But then Gabriel shows up and tries to kill Crowley, leaving Anathema and Aziraphale desperate to save him and Adam wanting to rewrite the story to have a happy end.



At AO3

I managed footnotes! work helped a lot.
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
I'm not going to tag Good Omens or shinynewfandom because I'd like that to reflect when I create or rec something and not just rant about the discourse.

At the heart of Good Omens, getting a renaissance due to the Netflix adaptation, is the Crowley (demon) and Aziraphale (angel) relationship.
Gaiman says it is a love story.
The book says while people assume Aziraphale is gay, angels are sexless unless they make an effort.
Gaiman also says the relationship can be platonic or romantic, not to rule out the characters being asexual or aromantic or trans.
People start screaming queerbaiting, homophobia.
They say if two men are together they're having sex or it's homophobia.
They say having asexual characters is "desexualising" and so homophobia.
They say there are already plenty of men in platonic relationships onscreen so there's no need for more so they're having sex. (Never mind that 99% of male platonic bonds are the H50 buddy cop style bromances, no homo, I love you man but look how many women I'm dating, live with you as a life partner nah I need to have sex with women)
They say it's obvious the characters are in love therefore they must be having sex. That their non-fannish mother insists there must be missing sex scenes because their love is so obvious.

People will ship what they want and post their explicit pwp to AO3.
But what they shouldn't be doing is screaming homophobia about, let alone at, Neil Gaiman.
They shouldn't be shouting down asexuals who want to see an actual QPR (NO IT'S JUST BEING BEST FRIENDS FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME) or nonsexual but romantic relationship onscreen.
They shouldn't be denying that there are het, bi, and homoromantic asexuals. By saying Crowley and Aziraphale have to be screwing they're saying no man can love a man without sex. In fact no-one can love without sex.

I'm tired of this love=sex crap. I'm sick of the discourse. I'm so done.
I've read the book twice. I've watched the first episode of the adaptation and will watch more. I've been reading some non-explicit fanfic. I may write some. But this constant "wahhhhh homophobia if they're not banging like a screen door in a storm" is not making the fandom a welcoming place to be overall.

While I'm ranting, there was a nice pro-asexual Good Omens article at Medium which I quoted from at tumblr. However I could have done without them insisting that most asexuals can/will have sex.
There's only 2 types of aces strongly acknowledged in the discourse typified as
1) aromantic aces, so lol they can only be friends with people don't date them anyway
2) asexuals who feel no/little sexual attraction but will always let you screw them anyway so they're still like real, dateable people!

The idea of nonsexual romantic intimacy is unacknowledged by most.

Final rant. I've been watching season 6 of Brooklyn 99 and jfc I don't know if the show is ruined for me after "Casecation".
The old "person doesn't want kids but is pressured by child-wanting spouse into agreeing to have them or they're getting dumped" trope.
There is never any "good" reason for someone to not want kids in these shows. You get pressured into changing your mind or you get dumped.
In B99 they even had mutual friend Rosa offer to bully Jake into changing his mind because Amy has to have babies.
I've seen this in too many other shows. This is the main reason I dropped Supergirl. (this article has a good take on that)

It's kind of related I guess. People are pressured to be sexual and to have children or else they're doing relationships/life wrong.

Why do I write nonsexual romance in fanfic? Because goddamn it I'm desperate to see that. It speaks to me as something I can imagine for myself.
Why do I write childfree characters in my original work? Because there aren't many options in fanfic, original fic is always pulling this "not a real marriage until he screws me and I give him heirs", and I desperately want childfree characters to exist. Not childless, not evil, not unsure but they'll change their minds, not damaged but they get 'fixed' and can't wait to have kids, but 100% committed to never ever having children.

tl;dr love does not equal sex.
Childfree people exist.
Comments are on but I'm behind on replies, the current climate has made me less want to check notifications and comments to be honest.
meridian_rose: black sails s1 max and silver (black sails)
modern au, nonsexual soulmates, Silver/Max, Asexual!Billy Bones, soulmate au, non-sexual intimacy
fic series at AO3



1) The Lock & La Clé (black sails bang)
"Better alone than a bad soulmate," the saying goes to soothe those who've yet to bond, "better a lifelong friend than a lover's brief spark. Your soulmate is one whom you will always want in your life."

After a party game triggers his matchmark, Silver is horrified to find it is not Flint's soulmark, as he'd hoped, but belongs to the one constant in his life, the only person he can't afford to lose. Knowing how good he is at screwing up his personal relationships, Silver takes drastic and dangerous action.



2) The Auction
Flint needs Silver to go to a charity auction in his stead and insists he take soulmate, Max. While there, Silver and Max have a run-in with Woodes Rogers, and Silver suffers more anxiety about his relationship and how he fits in with the Max/Anne/Jack dynamic.


3) Hygiene
One evening Silver is telling his roommates about a run-in with Flint.

4) The Soulbond Goes Both Ways
When Jack is involved in an accident, Max calls Silver in a panic. The repercussions of the incident cause problems for the Max/Anne/Jack relationship and throw Silver into a tailspin of despair as he wonders if Max is about to be bonded with Anne as well as himself.
There's one person Silver knows who has an idea of how complex soulbonds can be; Miranda Barlow. If nothing else, there's the chance of afternoon tea, but Silver gets a reminder of something important to remember.
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
I wrote 23 ficlets for [community profile] mmom this year, one more than last year. Here are links to the promo posts for the 23 fics at tumblr, where you can read more about the fic and then click on the title to go to the AO3 hosted fic – likes/reblogs at tumblr are also gratefully received. I've sorted them here by fandom.

Original Fic
A New Fantasy
https://itslmdee.tumblr.com/post/173952211205/a-new-fantasy-for-the-merry-month-of
(not AO3) wordpress ; fic blog

Black Sails
To Chart a Course
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173853252942/to-chart-a-course-meridianrose-meridianrose
Hygiene
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/174245271272/hygiene-meridianrose-meridianrose-black
Good Grooming
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/174154986812/good-grooming-meridianrose-meridianrose

The Borgias
The One She Wants
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173703457572/the-one-she-wants-meridianrose-meridianrose
Falsehood
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/174336700232/falsehood-meridianrose-meridianrose-the

Da Vinci's Demons
In the Shower
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173761569327/in-the-shower-meridianrose-meridianrose-da
Something to Think About
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173761595677/something-to-think-about-meridianrose
Luminous
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/174119929787/luminous-meridianrose-meridianrose-da

Firefly
No privacy with a psychic onboard
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/174245617562/no-privacy-with-a-psychic-onboard-meridianrose

Galavant
Do Dragons Masturbate?
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173510446937/do-dragons-masturbate-meridianrose
Sid's Fantasy
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173544748387/sids-fantasy-meridianrose-meridianrose

Legends of Tomrrow
The Devil's Doorbell
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/174245483712/the-devils-doorbell-meridianrose

Murdoch Mysteries
Plain Speaking
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173924271412/plain-speaking-meridianrose-meridianrose

The Shannara Chronicles
Sheltered
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173666034872/sheltered-meridianrose-meridianrose-the
Educational
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173793552827/educational-meridianrose-meridianrose-the
PrincessRover and the Accidental Voyeur
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/174054830372/princessrover-and-the-accidental-voyeur

Strike
Flights of Fancy
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173853649257/flights-of-fancy-meridianrose-meridianrose

Will (TV 2017)
A Moment of Solitudehttps://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173573019447/a-moment-of-solitude-meridianrose
Overcome
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173632134682/overcome-meridianrose-meridianrose-will-tv
Sonnets on Self-abuse
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173605933672/sonnets-on-self-abuse-meridianrose
Double Rainbow
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173732991817/double-rainbow-meridianrose-meridianrose
Performance
https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173887694627/performance-meridianrose-meridianrose-will
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
These 3 fics all deal with asexuality and/or nonsexual relationships.

Every Moment it Takes (1200 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Da Vinci's Demons
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Girolamo Riario/Zoroaster (Da Vinci's Demons)
Characters: Girolamo Riario, Zoroaster (Da Vinci's Demons)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, asexual spectrum Riario, Asexual Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mentions other characters, Established Relationship, Sequel

Summary: Sequel to "Are You Gonna Be My Guy?" Zo and Riario are in a relationship but it doesn't take much for Riario to have doubts whenever someone brings up the subject of sex, or the lack thereof.
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106993
Tumblr promo post: https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/172282089557/every-moment-it-takes-meridianrose

The Auction (1983 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Black Sails
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Max/John Silver (Black Sails)
Characters: Max (Black Sails), John Silver, Woodes Rogers, Billy Bones
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Charity Auctions, background Max/Anne/Jack, Silver needs reassurance, Sharing a Bed

Summary: Modern au, set post soulmate fic The Lock & La Clé. Flint needs Silver to go to a charity auction in his stead and insists he take soulmate, Max. While there, Silver and Max have a run-in with Woodes Rogers, and Silver suffers more anxiety about his relationship and how he fits in with the Max/Anne/Jack dynamic.
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14118387
Tumblr promo post: https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/172318210447/the-auction-meridianrose-meridianrose-black

The Asexual Psychic and the Virgin Witch (2019 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Midnight Texas (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Manfred Bernardo & Fiji Cavanaugh
Characters: Manfred Bernardo, Fiji Cavanaugh
Additional Tags: Olivia appears briefly, Asexual Character, past Manfred/Creek, acephobic Creek, Heart-to-Heart, Drunken Confessions, Virginity, Asexual Manfred, ace ring

Summary: When Manfred and Creek break up before she leaves for college, he and Fiji have a heart to heart with some surprising confessions.
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14185563
Tumblr promo post: https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/172520236667/the-asexual-psychic-and-the-virgin-witch ; with fic banner: https://meridianrosewrites.tumblr.com/post/173324485482/meridianrose-im-a-psychic-and-thats-unnatural
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)


Day 9: Rec 3 or more fanworks you've created
Day 10: Share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme
Day 11: Share something media related that changed your life
Day 12: Create a fanwork

Day 9 )

Day 10 )

Day 11 )

Day 12 )
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
It's not straight washing to give a queer character a different queer identity. Canon sexualities (presumed, they're not often stated especially for het characters) are changed all the time for slash purposes and mixed sex OT3s. A character doesn't have to be "Straight" or "A Gay" just because you think canon says so.
The split attraction model is a thing.
Sexual fluidity is a thing. Questioning is a thing. Preferring an umbrella term like queer is a thing.
Bisexuality is a thing.
Seriously, bisexuality is a thing, it needs repeating apparently.
It's not desexualising a character to read them as asexual.
You can can ship asexual characters romantically or platonically; also demisexuality and gray-asexuality exist.
Seriously, you can love someone without having sex with them.
So panromantic asexuals, biromantic lesbians, demisexual bisexuals, and pretty much any other labels you want are available. Especially for fictional characters, who let us explore questions of sexual orientation and identity in ways we could not otherwise do.



Originally posted to Tumblr. I have some specific examples in mind here but I'm generally irritated at the policing of sexuality going on and the subsequent erasure of romantic and sexual orientations that aren't "straight or gay/lesbian".
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (blacksails)
Unconventional Countess by meridian_rose (meridianrose)

John Silver, the fraudulent Earl of Poole, awakes to find a beauty berating him - but he cannot recall the last three months of his life, nor having a wife. Max is clearly a most unsuitable consort, but then he's known as being an unconventional earl. Suspicious of Max's presence in his life, Silver struggles to regain his memories but it seems his heart remembers things his head does not.

"John?" Max's voice was filled with concern. She had her hands on his shoulders and he was leaning into her. "Mon chéri. Talk to me."
He closed his eyes, gathered himself. "I remembered something."
"That is good." She lifted one hand now he had his balance, cupped his cheek, her thumb caressing his chin.
"Is it? I remember you were a whore. That you tried to blackmail me."
She didn't deny it nor did she move away.
"How did we go from there to here? Why do I feel more trust than suspicion about you?"... he couldn't help but look at her and feel that there was more to this arrangement than blackmail. His heart seemed to remember things that his head had forgotten.
Was it possible he'd truly come to care for her? Was it so foolish to wish she had also come to care for him?


Relationships: Max/John Silver (Black Sails) Billy Bones & John Silver
Characters: John Silver Max (Black Sails) Billy Bones
Dr. Howell (Black Sails) Dufresne (Black Sails) Woodes Rogers
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical Alternate Universe - Regency Alternate Universe - Romance Novel
romantic nonsexual relationship Unconventional Relationship
biromantic max grey-a silver silver's type is people who can kill him Hair Kink Temporary Amnesia Canonical Character Death shameless repurposing of Woodes Rogers' history for plot purposes Horses Minor Character Death
Community: unconventionalcourtship Community: trope_bingo

@ AO3
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (blacksails)
Nul n'est Parfait (No one is perfect) (877 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Black Sails
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Max & John Silver, Billy Bones & Max & John Silver, Eleanor Guthrie & Max
Characters: Max (Black Sails), John Silver, Billy Bones
Additional Tags: past Eleanor/Max, mentioned Eleanor/Vane, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Fluff and Angst, Sharing a Bed, Platonic Cuddling, Community: trope_bingo, Friendship, Arguing, Making Up, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting
Series: Part 3 of The Odd Trio
Summary: Max asks Silver to fetch her when she has an argument with Eleanor. But his concern for her, expressed as anger, leads to another fight. Max tries to smooth things over and what better way than some platonic bed-sharing...except maybe some three in a bed cuddling.

For the [community profile] trope_bingo prompt: bed sharing (wildcard) and the dark bingo prompt: fighting

At AO3
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
Title: A Cherished Parternship (305 words) by [personal profile] meridian_rose
Fandom: Da Vinci's Demons
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters/Relationships: Niccolo Ardinghelli & Lucrezia Donati
Additional Tags: nonsexual intimacy,
Summary: If things were different and he could have wed a man Niccolo would have. But if things were different, he hoped they'd still be friends for he did cherish Lucrezia.

read it at AO3
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (blacksails)
Title: Trust Issues
Fandom: Black Sails
Wordcount: 691
Prompt: For a [livejournal.com profile] gameofcards writing challenge, use an ao3tagoftheday post to inspire a fic. I used liberal use of the word 'fuck'
Pairing/charcters: Max & John Silver
Summary: modern au. A drinking game that has Max tell truths about Silver's activities nearly goes awry but he should trust her more than that.
other tags: The Lord of the Rings References, Male-Female Friendship, how does friendship work, fluff and mild crack and mild angst, Misunderstandings, I will go down with this ship

also at AO3

Read more... )
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
Fic written for various challenges and posted directly to their comms and to AO3 but not at my personal journal(s).
Fandoms: Firefly, Da Vinci's Demons, Legend of the Seeker, The Vampire Diaries/The Originals
Read more... )
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (Default)
Day three - Romance and relationships

I Keep Saying This Is The Last Post "This is a post about ace erasure and about the way in which platonic relationships are marginalized." Includes such quotable moments as
'We’re not dating, we’re just friends!' Just friends. As if a nonromantic, nonsexual relationship can’t be as emotionally intimate and fulfilling and sustaining as a romantic/sexual one can.

Recommended reading.

My Shepard is Asexual, and That's Okay
Using the Mass Effect game to talk about how sex and romance impacts games like it and Dragon Age but also lays out the basics of how the author experiences asexuality and romantic attraction ("like a hands-off Jack Harkness"):
1. I don't believe you have to have sex with someone just because you're totally and utterly in love with them.
2. I don't believe intimacy needs to involve sex.
3. In fact, I don't believe in having sex at all.
4. There is tremendous social pressure against making the previous statements.

All of which makes me feel:  photo tumblr_mkypyv1AWM1qib0lto3_250_zpsc24014c4.gif
And I've never even played Mass Effect!


The term zucchini is sometimes used to describe a non-sexual life partner and this article discusses the word a little My Thoughts on the Word “Zucchini”;
"Half the fun of “zucchini” as terminology (and “squash,” and other puns) is that it’s totally silly. It doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s slangy and fun and absurd and colloquial. It makes no sense when you think about it. And that works, because there actually aren’t words in the English language that do make sense when you think about them for the kinds of relationships we’re discussing–everything either gets subsumed under the devaluation that gets attached to words like “friend” or has been taken to refer to romantic relationships. “Zucchini” isn’t entirely meant to take itself seriously in the first place."
However the author points out that serious or silly, "words like “zucchini” and “squash” have given me vocabulary to talk about my dreams and my hopes and my current relationships so much more effectively than I could otherwise" and that "words shape our thoughts. If no word exists in a language to describe a thing, it’s almost impossible to discuss that concept, at least not without convoluted circumlocutions. Lack of words becomes a way to silence minority viewpoints."
In the UK we call those vegetables courgettes, so zucchini has practically zero connotations, and it's such a fun word to use :D
Even when we look at fiction, we have the term "bromance" for heterosexual men with close relationships, including those with slash subtext. But we don't have recognised terms for this between women or a man and a woman. "Zucchini" might be a bit too much for some of these relationships but it might work for others. I've also seen it used for Sherlock/Watson where the BBC version seems (despite Moffat's objections) to suggest an asexual Sherlock and a heterosexual Watson living as a couple in all senses of the word barring sex.
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (pagan-ish default)
Day Two – the kinky asexual/sex and asexuality

Another misconception is that asexuality is somehow about being "prudish", "enlightened" or otherwise "clean/pure". I don't smoke but I do drink alcohol, eat meat, have a tattoo, keep pets, swear profusely, enjoy certain erotica, etc. I don't abstain from sex out of some idea of purity, and in fact find most notions of being "pure" obnoxious. I "abstain" only because I don't experience sexual attraction to people.

In fact many on the asexual spectrum do engage in sex for a number of reasons/under various circumstances, and even if they don't, many people have personal "kinks."

I recently took a just for fun quiz on "what kind of asexual are you" – I expected maybe "kinky ace" as others reported, but I got "self-sexy ace". Some commentators at the FB page where I came across the quiz were horrified at the idea of any enjoyment of anything even vaguely related to sex, but what they, and everyone else ought to realise is that asexuality is a spectrum.Like all sexual identities, gender, and romantic attraction, trying to use boxes doesn't allow for the infinite variety of how people experience the world. Only a full spectrum of options lets people choose all of the labels they feel are right for them (or none at all).
And if you wonder how you can be a kinky ace, check out [personal profile] verbs_not_nouns blog for one person's experience of how arousal and non-sexual intimacy can be as satisfying as PIV sex. You might want to start with this post:
Things I have learned about myself from other people A list of blatantly untrue things the self described kinky asexual blogger has been told about their identity such as "I am pure, innocent and easily embarrassed by frank sexual talk".
Other links about sex and asexuality:

How to Have Sex With an Asexual Person
In fact this guide isn't just about asexuality: "this way to approach sex is NOT SPECIFIC TO ASEXUAL PEOPLE. It is not "special treatment" because we are asexual. It's common courtesy. This is how you should approach sex with EVERYONE. There are simply more things to be cautious about with asexual people.]"
It explains that
Some asexuals are open to having sex (key word = SOME). Not only that, but it is possible to have really great, mutually enjoyable sex with an asexual person. But it is also possible to fuck it up so bad that the asexual person has nightmares about you five years later. You don’t want to do that. There’s a right way to do it, and I’m going to tell you what you should do, and what you should avoid.
Please note: This post is not about seduction. You can’t seduce an asexual, and framing it as seduction is dangerous for us, because it encourages people to follow a sexual script that is coercive and manipulative instead of listening to us. Get that model of sexual interaction out of your head right now. You need to start fresh. Trust me, it’s the only way this is going to be any good.

101 Asexy Sex Scenes
"This is, in fact, 101 different any-fandom prompts for fanfic with asexual characters and sex scenes. In a way it is a how-to: so that if anyone is wondering how to do it, or thinks there just aren't enough possibilities with an ace character, or would like to write but doesn't know where to start, this can be a starting place. And it can serve as an example of just how many different ways of being asexual and being involved in sex there can be."
The prompts are given in the form of an imagery fandom so you put in your own favourite characters/original creations. Includes gems like "Alex and Ash think squishy bits are yucky in RL. But online roleplaying is fun!" and "Alex is a virgin, but wants to try sex with another person just once, just to see what it's like, so asks Bailey, and Bailey tries to show Alex how it can be good. The result isn't a life-changing experience for either of them, but it's a treasured memory for both."

And there's even a "kinky gen" tag at AO3 - Kinky Gen Works
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (writer)
It's hard to go one week without coming across a Tumblr post, Youtube comment, or comment on a newspaper article that posits sex as vital and asexuals as (a) liars/sick bastards in need of medicating, and/or (b) incapable of being in a romantic relationship.

Some articles in agony columns will say that sex is not important or is only as important as the individuals in a relationship believe it to be. Others insist sex is really important – that sex is the difference between marriage and being roommates. (Where "fuck buddy" roommates fit in is anyone's guess)

One study found that
"Romantic relationships are, at their core, friendships….benefits come from valuing friendship specifically, rather than any other aspect of the relationship (e.g., the sexual aspect). "


That's what interests me most in a 'ship' between friends or romantic partners; aspects like trust and respect, nonsexual intimacies, banter. In ships were the characters are often serious and contained, showing their playful side or their vulnerabilities is a huge turn-on, and shows how important and trustworthy they deem their partner to behave in these ways.

I don't read a lot of PWP even though I often enjoy erotic fiction. For me there has to be some deeper connection, some emotional intimacy if I'm to enjoy reading about a relationship. I'm also interested in various kinks, so lots of touching of hair, or the fact that he's wearing a uniform, or that they're having sex on a desk or in a shower excites me more than basic PIV bedroom sex.

les grande chaleurs


I think the only orig fic PWP I've written was An Intimate Moment, where the couple meet, feel an attraction, and leave the club to have sex. Although even here there was a weighing up of qualities both physical and character wise, before the decision was made.

It wasn't his blue eyes that attracted her so much as the way they swept the area, assessing it just as she had done when she entered. This was a man who knew where all the exits were, who had positioned himself at the bar where he could use the mirrored glass behind it to check his perimeter, and who held himself with a confidence that suggested he'd been tried, tested and not found wanting. This was prey worth stalking, and if her instincts were correct, the sort who would appreciate the game.


In fanfic, I try to touch on why the erotic focus is there; in the PWP LotS fic Foreplay I imply for the purposes of the story that Darken is attracted to Richard, but the backstory is already there, his jealousy of his brother, his love of domination and thus having Richard at his mercy. If I'm shipping characters who haven't got a romantic/sexual relationship in canon I usually try to spend some time developing their relationship in ways other than sex before having them jump into bed. I also write threesomes* and touch on things like age-gap relationships, still fairly underrepresented in fanfic.

In original fic, I'm usually writing about relationships that go way beyond physical attraction. Some characters have fairly casual attitudes to sex while some characters think of sex as important, even sacred, and not to be entered into lightly. Relationships however are always much more than this. There can be sex and no relationship. There can be a relationship and no sex. There can be a sexual relationship, but the sexual part is the least important aspect of the 'ship'. I'm not interested in the "one night stand" phenomenon beyond the disposable nature of such encounters. I'm far more interested in how the characters feel about each other and how they act towards each other and work/live alongside each other.

As a counterpoint to all the "not really a relationship" bs and the anger I feel over it, I'm going to write some fic (and maybe some meta/character descriptions) addressing sex and relationships in the various orig fic verses I write in. These ficlets might be a little less polished. Some will be canon. Some will be canon that might not appear in the finished product but exist as backstory/character development. A few might not necessarily be canon, but an exploring of potential ideas. All the pieces will have a tag fic series: caras where CARAS is an acronym for Character Attitudes to Relationships And Sex.

*I also have a lot of thoughts about love triangles and having to choose and shilly-shallying back and froth between partners (Pacey/Joey/Dawson of Dawson's Creek is a particularly frustrating example), the bs that you can't be attracted to more than one person at a time, and why we should look at non-monogamous options, but that's a whole other rant and fic series
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (writer)
I signed up for [community profile] kink_bingo this year and what interests me most about this bingo is the broad interpretation of 'kink'. Fanworks do not have to feature sex and can be G rated.

This excellent post gives some good ideas about how to put the focus on the prompted kink at the heart of the piece… in such a way that either the characters, or the fanwork, or the audience, or any combination of the above, are interested in/stimulated by/gratified by the kink in question.

It makes a distinction between 'erotic' and 'sexy'. Eroticism can be applied in a far wider context. A kink can often be about making strange or unusual connections between culture, body, and mind, the author says, and describes how eroticism can be sensual and/or intense. The sensual aspects are all about the body and the senses; the feel of a whip or the smell of essential oils.

Intensity is about making the erotic connection to an object or situation – 'fetish' is the word that comes to mind, though the term is not used at [community profile] kink_bingo due to its troubled medicalized history. Intensity is more about the outer and symbolic rather the body. It's why a character gets turned on by a man in uniform or by shaving their legs – the meaning behind the object/action rather than merely the thing itself.

That's intensity: intensity of emotion and intensity of physical sensation. Your characters might experience intense pain, or intense pleasure, or intense interest, or intense disgust, or intense tingling…but what those have in common, and what tends to make them kinky, is the intensity itself.

What especially interested me about this post was how the author linked it to something most if not all of us can relate to; fannish experience.

known, in some fannish circles, as "having feels" or simply "FEEEEEEEELS!" – the rush of emotions and physical sensations too overwhelming and powerful to even be described or enumerated…Fannishness is its own kind of fetishism, of course, and is often made fun of in popular culture in the same way that kink is made fun of. Fans are too intense, we are told, too focused on a particular object of desire; we allow the things we should only like – not love – to fill the entire frame of our existence and make us feel.

The post looks at how to make a kink the focus of the work, to capture the arousal it engenders – again, not necessarily sexually, but in a stirring of the senses. It concludes that to give erotic focus is to draw our attention to that kink, and encourage us to feel something about it; encourage us to feel, encourage us to experience, simply because the locus of our attention has changed.

It harks back to emotional bareness as opposed to merely bodily nakedness. It means not every kink is sexual, and in exploring with my own asexuality, sensuality, and kinkiness, that's very important to me.
meridian_rose: pen on letter background  with text  saying 'writer' (keep calm)
I first saw this on Tumblr – the bolded part, below - and googled to find the source so I could get a bit of context. The full interview link is at the end of the entry. It's really adorable. The interview has been transcribed into English by a non-native speaker, so some parts read a little odd but the translator has done a great job of trying to include all the non-verbal details and to explain the idioms and cultural context.

Francois Arnaud (currently starring in 'The Borgias') appeared on a French chat show and the following exchange took place:

Host: Here is something you once said – and ladies you will like this one: “Intimacy, contrary to what we may think, is not only in sex scenes. Sometimes it’s in the dialogues, when skins are slightly touching, or in the way we look at each other… That’s when complicity rises. That’s what is the most difficult to develop, because in the sex scenes, there is nothing else to do than the movements.” So for you, talking is more intimate than screwing?

FA: It’s at least as intimate. And I think that it’s… The idea is that… I think that sometimes nudity and sex can be (hesitant)… hot… (smiling) (Everyone giggles). But, but… (giggling)… But I think that emotional nudity or, you know… emotional bareness… I think that this is what we are always looking for… So, it’s wrong to think that they [sex scenes] are harder to shoot, or that it’s more intimate to take your clothes off



Talking is at least as intimate as the sexual act. Someone who gets it.

Source: http://interviewfrancoisarnaud.wordpress.com/2011/04/20/5/

May 2025

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