LJ idol 2014/15 final post
May. 19th, 2015 04:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meridian_roseI've been putting this off but here goes.
Week 27 - I submitted a piece based in mythology, a theme that had seemingly done well in the contest. I added a picspam which I put on Tumblr with a link to the fic. I haven't yet, but might, add it to AO3 under the mythology heading, unless I decide to do some minor edits and post it to my original fic DW.
The piece was a modern au focussed on Ariadne and the start of her relationship with Dionysus. You can read it here: A Kiss Divine
137 people voted in the poll, able to vote for as many or as few entries as they wished. Highest votes for any entry/entries: 33
Lowest votes for any entry/entries: 13
Votes my entry received: 17
This put me and another contestant on a head-to-head the following week to see who got voted out.
Week 28 – I was having some real life difficulties and tbh some of the "supportive" comments I'd received about it were not that helpful. I barely managed to get an entry in. But it was enter something or default.
As such I chose to edit a piece I'd been working on for something else, a piece that fits into my work in progress (Kat/High Queen). It's posted here: The Sun and the Moon.
Obviously since this was my last entry in LJIdol the result was that I failed to garner enough votes.
Partly I regret putting that piece in. While I always try to give context in both original fic and fanfic, so anything longer than a drabble can be read alone, there's important characterisation and backstory that doesn't come through here which probably affected the reception.
In the end I didn't even read the comments because this potential novel is very important to me and on top of what I was going through (just writing this is making me re-experience some of the negative emotions) I did not/do not need criticism or to risk see people completely misunderstanding the characters and their dynamics. I'd already gone back and forth with someone with somehow who constantly privileged "new, overly sexual relationships" over "established, rooted in love" ones. It's incredibly important to me that relationships are not always sexual, and that sex is not the most important part of a pairing.
58 people voted in the head-to-head. I received 33 votes, my opponent got 36.
Which brings me to my overall thoughts. I'm glad I played for a while. I came late to the Idol party but I wrote and got some good comments and I read some good fic.
I also got to see writers get upvotes for calling women "selfish" for wanting abortions. (Fuck that. My worth is not in my womb, which I would tear out with my fingernails before I'd be pregnant.).
I got to see plenty of mediocre fic get twice as many votes as fic that was truly poetical or outstanding.
I got to see one writer start charting the anonymous voting and point out that some of the winning authors each week were getting unique votes. That is, it can be presumed, people from their f-list coming to vote for them without reading any other entries let alone voting for them. The ensuing drama made me almost glad not to be involved beyond reading and voting on the sidelines.
I lost by three votes. If I'd had a few people from my f-list vote I might have won. If I'd even had a few more people still active on my f-list it might have tipped the balance. And yet. I wouldn't want to win out of some weird popularity contest – the reason I really hate all these reality shows to begin with. I want to do well because my work is worth reading.
Except maybe it isn't. Not going to lie, it knocked my confidence, on top of other things which had happened earlier in the year. Enough to make me think twice about trying to get audience, about being good enough, about participating in another Idol or any other contest.
And that's the story of my participation in LJ Idol.
You can see all of my entries for and commentary about LJ Idol using the tag landcomm:ljidol
Week 27 - I submitted a piece based in mythology, a theme that had seemingly done well in the contest. I added a picspam which I put on Tumblr with a link to the fic. I haven't yet, but might, add it to AO3 under the mythology heading, unless I decide to do some minor edits and post it to my original fic DW.
The piece was a modern au focussed on Ariadne and the start of her relationship with Dionysus. You can read it here: A Kiss Divine
137 people voted in the poll, able to vote for as many or as few entries as they wished. Highest votes for any entry/entries: 33
Lowest votes for any entry/entries: 13
Votes my entry received: 17
This put me and another contestant on a head-to-head the following week to see who got voted out.
Week 28 – I was having some real life difficulties and tbh some of the "supportive" comments I'd received about it were not that helpful. I barely managed to get an entry in. But it was enter something or default.
As such I chose to edit a piece I'd been working on for something else, a piece that fits into my work in progress (Kat/High Queen). It's posted here: The Sun and the Moon.
Obviously since this was my last entry in LJIdol the result was that I failed to garner enough votes.
Partly I regret putting that piece in. While I always try to give context in both original fic and fanfic, so anything longer than a drabble can be read alone, there's important characterisation and backstory that doesn't come through here which probably affected the reception.
In the end I didn't even read the comments because this potential novel is very important to me and on top of what I was going through (just writing this is making me re-experience some of the negative emotions) I did not/do not need criticism or to risk see people completely misunderstanding the characters and their dynamics. I'd already gone back and forth with someone with somehow who constantly privileged "new, overly sexual relationships" over "established, rooted in love" ones. It's incredibly important to me that relationships are not always sexual, and that sex is not the most important part of a pairing.
58 people voted in the head-to-head. I received 33 votes, my opponent got 36.
Which brings me to my overall thoughts. I'm glad I played for a while. I came late to the Idol party but I wrote and got some good comments and I read some good fic.
I also got to see writers get upvotes for calling women "selfish" for wanting abortions. (Fuck that. My worth is not in my womb, which I would tear out with my fingernails before I'd be pregnant.).
I got to see plenty of mediocre fic get twice as many votes as fic that was truly poetical or outstanding.
I got to see one writer start charting the anonymous voting and point out that some of the winning authors each week were getting unique votes. That is, it can be presumed, people from their f-list coming to vote for them without reading any other entries let alone voting for them. The ensuing drama made me almost glad not to be involved beyond reading and voting on the sidelines.
I lost by three votes. If I'd had a few people from my f-list vote I might have won. If I'd even had a few more people still active on my f-list it might have tipped the balance. And yet. I wouldn't want to win out of some weird popularity contest – the reason I really hate all these reality shows to begin with. I want to do well because my work is worth reading.
Except maybe it isn't. Not going to lie, it knocked my confidence, on top of other things which had happened earlier in the year. Enough to make me think twice about trying to get audience, about being good enough, about participating in another Idol or any other contest.
And that's the story of my participation in LJ Idol.
You can see all of my entries for and commentary about LJ Idol using the tag landcomm:ljidol
