October's All The Things post
Oct. 8th, 2014 02:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meridian_roseMonths in review
So September started off well, much better than my largely disastrous August.
August
September? Much better. In particular I had a great week towards the end of September.
I really felt I'd recaptured my optimism, my creativity. Things were going well. Things seemed worth doing. I had plans! Ambition!
Followed by a disappointing start to October
Because if there's some way for someone to screw things up…
Still, things are somewhat better again now. I'm doing quite a bit of writing on my Small Fandom Big Bang. Then there's LJ Idol.
LJ Idol
I'm competing in LJ Idol Last Chance at time of writing (the poll may end up with me leaving this round, who knows).
LJ Idol has been interesting. I almost wish I'd signed up for the main event, but knowing what a year I've had, I would have probably run out of "byes" (free passes) or had to churn out things I wasn't proud of to keep up my entries. Even if you do your best work, you can easily be voted out of the contest. There is also a time commitment to read all the entries (and hopefully comment on some) and to vote in the poll.
Still, the Last Chance event has been pretty good. I've read and voted in the main contest and the Last Chance rounds since joining. I've read some amazing work. I've had some great feedback.
In the first round of Last Chance, there were 90 voters. You can vote for as many or few entries as you wish. The highest number of votes for any entry was 35. The lowest number of votes for any entry was 9. I scored 18 votes, not great, but not shabby.
My first entry was for the prompt "In the Garden", Watching the Stars and dealt with Writer's Block.
My second entry is for the prompt "crossing all the Ts", Communication and looks at how attention to detail is important.
My theme then seems to be "writing about writing" as I sometimes tag things (this entry included). It's also taught me a few things about how I process ideas. I still procrastinate like hell:
but having deadlines as for the LJ Idol does make me work harder and faster, and while the pieces aren't as perfect as I'd like, they are good enough. That's a lesson I need to fully learn and accept.
Of course I want to do well in LJ Idol but I don't want to censor myself. This is also becoming a thing for me. To be who I am. I'm trying to find people and ideas I connect with. I talked about having to stop following some blogs/feeds because I felt alienated by them, that my specific introvert and asexual identities were being conflated into an awful stereotype of the sort of person I would run a mile from. It's finding people I can truly connect with that's the issue.
So every vote I get at LJ Idol is a confidence booster in some sense. I write without dialling back too much on what I really believe and want to say, and I'm not being outright ignored or rejected. It's acceptance that I crave, even while I know I should not. But writing is a form of self-expression and who doesn't want their self to be acknowledged in some way?
More Writing
Things I'm working on:
Small Fandoms Big Bang
H/C Bingo Card #2, round 5 (might end up being mostly graphics instead)
Things I want to do:
Meta for asexuality week this month (I have 2 ideas but maybe not the time to write them to my satisfaction)
Yuletide sign up (opens soon)
Things I still want to do but have stalled on:
Everything's Better With Dragons (Borgia's fantasy AU), I have further chapters planned for the series that are not yet written
Original fic pieces x 2 that I had specific ideas for, started writing, and have temporarily abandoned
The goddamn novel which is becoming a thorn in my side and for various reasons makes me feel more angry and upset when I think about working on it
My other wannabe novels (c: Kat, metafic, c: Aura, wolves)
Another TVD Elijah/Jenna fic
A LotS/Borgias crossover (Denna/Cesare); I wrote a short version for Legendland, but I always intended to write a full version
Finish editing the sequel to my Revenge Pirates AU, find a beta, see if meets any prompts I'm working on! (It did, but then I filled the prompt with something else because the fic got away from me by a few thousand words and I had a deadline to meet)
Other things:
I have a list of around 80 items comprising everything from fanfic to fan vids to meta, and I add to more things to do than I cross off as done
Why, oh Why
Why Bother. There was a post up at GWYO from a frustrated writer who wondered what the point of it all was. They listed the sort of fears we all have: their plots and characters aren't original, they don't write as well as other (published) authors, they don't see themselves making a living from writing. The comments are largely about writing because you have to, you need to, it's part of you; certainly that my answer, along with recommending writer positivity and, to answer whether being a writer is a productive way to interact with the world, quoting Lloyd Alexander:
I'm so happy when writing is going well, when my creativity is high. I can never work out if my happiness correlates with my creativity or my creativity correlates with my happiness. Actually, that's not true. I've written through some hard times and it's helped me. Yet when times are very bad and I feel low, my creativity suffers too. IDK. Random observance.
As for blogging, though? In September, excluding posts that consisted solely of links to other sites/round-up posts or were signal boosting, I made 7 posts. Of those, 3 received no comments. 1 received a comment from someone not on my f-list. Furthermore, without LJ Idol, the comments I would have received (ie only counting comments from people on my f-list) on my original fic entry (Watching the Stars) would be 2. For this week's LJ Idol entry? 0.
Screen capture with an encouraging quote about writing and potential audience, with my comments below that are less positive
Are comments important? Yes and no. It's a constant question of audience, isn't it? And I do my best to follow people's journals and leave them comments, even though it's not often reciprocated. I still believe LJ and DW are far superior platforms for connecting with people and developing relationships than Tumblr where the blogging style is best for pictures and soundbites, for promoting, not really for creating.
So thank the internet gods for LJ Idol and Yuletide and GYWO and the Game of Cards landcomm for existing and proving there is still an interest in some form of community and creation beyond "someone else's shiny gif".
Why do I write? Because I have to, because I need to, to express myself, because getting the ideas from my head into a written form can make me incredibly happy and might, just might, make someone else happy if they read it. Why do I blog? To express myself, to share my creativity, to connect. All of which means I try to keep on doing it, even when it feels like I'm whispering into the abyss. Sometimes the battle to write or blog or create is worth it all. Sometimes it does indeed all seem pointless.
I didn't intend to end on such a low note so, in recognition of my thrill at writing so much this month, here's a happier gif:
So September started off well, much better than my largely disastrous August.
August
September? Much better. In particular I had a great week towards the end of September.
I really felt I'd recaptured my optimism, my creativity. Things were going well. Things seemed worth doing. I had plans! Ambition!
Followed by a disappointing start to October
Because if there's some way for someone to screw things up…
Still, things are somewhat better again now. I'm doing quite a bit of writing on my Small Fandom Big Bang. Then there's LJ Idol.
LJ Idol
I'm competing in LJ Idol Last Chance at time of writing (the poll may end up with me leaving this round, who knows).
LJ Idol has been interesting. I almost wish I'd signed up for the main event, but knowing what a year I've had, I would have probably run out of "byes" (free passes) or had to churn out things I wasn't proud of to keep up my entries. Even if you do your best work, you can easily be voted out of the contest. There is also a time commitment to read all the entries (and hopefully comment on some) and to vote in the poll.
Still, the Last Chance event has been pretty good. I've read and voted in the main contest and the Last Chance rounds since joining. I've read some amazing work. I've had some great feedback.
In the first round of Last Chance, there were 90 voters. You can vote for as many or few entries as you wish. The highest number of votes for any entry was 35. The lowest number of votes for any entry was 9. I scored 18 votes, not great, but not shabby.
My first entry was for the prompt "In the Garden", Watching the Stars and dealt with Writer's Block.
My second entry is for the prompt "crossing all the Ts", Communication and looks at how attention to detail is important.
My theme then seems to be "writing about writing" as I sometimes tag things (this entry included). It's also taught me a few things about how I process ideas. I still procrastinate like hell:
but having deadlines as for the LJ Idol does make me work harder and faster, and while the pieces aren't as perfect as I'd like, they are good enough. That's a lesson I need to fully learn and accept.
Of course I want to do well in LJ Idol but I don't want to censor myself. This is also becoming a thing for me. To be who I am. I'm trying to find people and ideas I connect with. I talked about having to stop following some blogs/feeds because I felt alienated by them, that my specific introvert and asexual identities were being conflated into an awful stereotype of the sort of person I would run a mile from. It's finding people I can truly connect with that's the issue.
So every vote I get at LJ Idol is a confidence booster in some sense. I write without dialling back too much on what I really believe and want to say, and I'm not being outright ignored or rejected. It's acceptance that I crave, even while I know I should not. But writing is a form of self-expression and who doesn't want their self to be acknowledged in some way?
More Writing
Things I'm working on:
Small Fandoms Big Bang
H/C Bingo Card #2, round 5 (might end up being mostly graphics instead)
Things I want to do:
Meta for asexuality week this month (I have 2 ideas but maybe not the time to write them to my satisfaction)
Yuletide sign up (opens soon)
Things I still want to do but have stalled on:
Everything's Better With Dragons (Borgia's fantasy AU), I have further chapters planned for the series that are not yet written
Original fic pieces x 2 that I had specific ideas for, started writing, and have temporarily abandoned
The goddamn novel which is becoming a thorn in my side and for various reasons makes me feel more angry and upset when I think about working on it
My other wannabe novels (c: Kat, metafic, c: Aura, wolves)
Another TVD Elijah/Jenna fic
A LotS/Borgias crossover (Denna/Cesare); I wrote a short version for Legendland, but I always intended to write a full version
Finish editing the sequel to my Revenge Pirates AU, find a beta, see if meets any prompts I'm working on! (It did, but then I filled the prompt with something else because the fic got away from me by a few thousand words and I had a deadline to meet)
Other things:
I have a list of around 80 items comprising everything from fanfic to fan vids to meta, and I add to more things to do than I cross off as done
Why, oh Why
Why Bother. There was a post up at GWYO from a frustrated writer who wondered what the point of it all was. They listed the sort of fears we all have: their plots and characters aren't original, they don't write as well as other (published) authors, they don't see themselves making a living from writing. The comments are largely about writing because you have to, you need to, it's part of you; certainly that my answer, along with recommending writer positivity and, to answer whether being a writer is a productive way to interact with the world, quoting Lloyd Alexander:
I'm so happy when writing is going well, when my creativity is high. I can never work out if my happiness correlates with my creativity or my creativity correlates with my happiness. Actually, that's not true. I've written through some hard times and it's helped me. Yet when times are very bad and I feel low, my creativity suffers too. IDK. Random observance.
As for blogging, though? In September, excluding posts that consisted solely of links to other sites/round-up posts or were signal boosting, I made 7 posts. Of those, 3 received no comments. 1 received a comment from someone not on my f-list. Furthermore, without LJ Idol, the comments I would have received (ie only counting comments from people on my f-list) on my original fic entry (Watching the Stars) would be 2. For this week's LJ Idol entry? 0.
Screen capture with an encouraging quote about writing and potential audience, with my comments below that are less positive
Are comments important? Yes and no. It's a constant question of audience, isn't it? And I do my best to follow people's journals and leave them comments, even though it's not often reciprocated. I still believe LJ and DW are far superior platforms for connecting with people and developing relationships than Tumblr where the blogging style is best for pictures and soundbites, for promoting, not really for creating.
So thank the internet gods for LJ Idol and Yuletide and GYWO and the Game of Cards landcomm for existing and proving there is still an interest in some form of community and creation beyond "someone else's shiny gif".
Why do I write? Because I have to, because I need to, to express myself, because getting the ideas from my head into a written form can make me incredibly happy and might, just might, make someone else happy if they read it. Why do I blog? To express myself, to share my creativity, to connect. All of which means I try to keep on doing it, even when it feels like I'm whispering into the abyss. Sometimes the battle to write or blog or create is worth it all. Sometimes it does indeed all seem pointless.
I didn't intend to end on such a low note so, in recognition of my thrill at writing so much this month, here's a happier gif:
Tags:
- #blogging for the sake of blogging,
- #in lieu of a bag post,
- #just talking to myself these days,
- #oh hai,
- #overuse of gifs,
- #quote,
- #ramblings,
- #reallifehappystuff,
- #reallifesucks,
- #the importance of audience,
- #to do,
- #writing about writing,
- #writing update,
- * livejournal/lj,
- *meta sort of,
- landcomm: ljidol,
- writing: work in progress
no subject
Date: 2014-10-08 03:52 pm (UTC)I need to set aside some time to read SCI!
As to the blogging....I am beginning to believe that we're on the edge of the "next thing". Comments have dropped off for everyone. Comms seem to be done. FB and tumblr and twitter are all in stasis as well. We need to find the way back to substance.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2014-10-09 06:57 pm (UTC)I can't help but look at the polls. It's probably not healthy but I'm curious as to how I compare, especially since this is my first time writing for a wider audience in direct competition. Thanks for encouraging me to take the plunge. It's definitely proven interesting and helped me learn a few things :)
I'm not sure I'd say all forms are in statis with so much volume being generated, but definitely we're lacking substance. I'm encouraged by LJ's new management approach to try and welcome new-comers with things like the "about Livejournal" vid which emphasises LJ's no real name policy and ease of following conversations, something that FB, Tumblr, and Twitter all fail on one or both issues. I remain hopeful if not optimistic!
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2014-10-09 07:21 pm (UTC)Hey, that is a super positive spin on LJ and you are so right! I know we both value this platform and I'm glad to hear that LJ is beginning to represent itself as a viable social media!
no subject
Date: 2014-10-16 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-13 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-16 04:35 pm (UTC)I hear you on the router problems. I had PC issues in June and was pretty much without access for a month, and ever since I got a new (refurbished) Windows 7 machine I have had wireless internet problems on a regular basis - and I have no funds so I'm waiting on the ISP to finish upgrading all their provided routers which should help. They're overdue on making good on that upgrade promise. It drives me up the wall some days because I rely on Internet access for so many things. I hope you eventually get things sorted. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2014-10-16 04:55 pm (UTC)