Online friends are real friends; why downtime matters

[meridian_rose]

So LJ is having problems again. That's why I signed up for a DW account, right? And I'm getting more comfortable here :D But DW still can't replace LJ entirely for me, because so many friends and nearly all of the comms I follow are not here. So I try to import often to here, and crosspost from here - I may have to do more crossposting from here, though; apparantly if you change something in the DW entry that you psoted to LJ, the LJ entry automatically updates itself...this is amazing and will cut down on editing if I have to change an embarassing spelling error or fix a url. I need to test this :D

I've been following the updates at the LJ Facebook page, and of course people are complaining about the downtime. And then there are people saying it's not big deal. And then there are the people who are saying downtime is no big deal and that people have no right to complain and should 'get a life'.

You know what? Beyond my immediate family, I have virtually no social contact most days in the week. Don't get me wrong, that's mostly okay with me. I'm introverted and pretty unsocial anyway. But my online activities let me deal with people in a way that allows me some control over the interaction; it's safe and can be done at my own speed, unlike real life. My online activities let me connect to people I have things in common with, who I give support to and receive support from. LJ has been a lifeline when things have been really bad in my life. Belonging to landcomms gives me a sense of community, deadlines to work to, reasons to type and research and improve my graphics skills. Blogging keeps me connected to people. Real people, just ones that are further away...

For anyone who thinks online friends aren't real friends, I recommend this link, which ivanolix posted about recently, saying that 'all of us in fandom by default have friends "in the box".'

I didn't think online friends were the same as real friends, and those five hundred Facebook friends some people have are the sort of casual accquaintances that don't 'count'. But the people you connect with, who share your highs and lows, they're friends, even if you've never met them in the real, physical, world. Hell, reality is overrated anyway. Online friends on the other hand are undervalued by most. Not me. Not any more.

Comments

[lilfluff]

Thank goodness for friends in the box, because I rarely end up seeing anyone but coworkers 'IRL'.

I wouldn't say I hate LJ, but the shine has come off the chrome and I largely still use it due to inertia and that there are quite a few still there who haven't moved over to DW. But I am finding myself preferring things here. It may not be perfect, but at least the owners polish the chrome to keep the shine on the shiny.

That said I'm holding out hope that something like Diaspora will succeed in building up a decentralized social media platform. As I put it (in fewer words) on twitter a while back, my dream online world would be one in which I cared as much whether someone uses LJ, DW, Facebook, or G+ about as much as I care who handles their email. For some years now even if I have never had an AOL account I can still email someone who gets their email through them. Likewise someone with a FillInTheBlank.com email address. I don't have to have an account there but the email still goes through fine. It would be nice if social media operated the same. Make an account wherever (even self hosted if you want) and connect to wherever.

But back more on topic, heck yeah people in the box are real. And if they aren't then I'll take the fake. Among other things it's people here that have brought out again the desire to write and got me off my butt and writing (well, one of these days I'll have room to try and set up a walking-desk :)).

[meridian_rose]

That's an interesting thought, the 'who handles the email'. Because I'm not sure how it could work - Facebook has a very different feel to it, and isn't set up for fiction; Tumblr is mostly just graphics with very little social interaction; LJ and DW have similarities but aren't quite the same. I'll have to ponder this a while, because it is intriguing. And while I keep my rl identity separate for the most part from my online one, I use meridian-rose for all the online 'places' where I want to connect with people, from Vimeo to Youtube, from AO3 to FF.net. So centralisation might not be that big a leap.

'then I'll take the fake'; exactly :D People in the real world often don't understand what you are going through, or trying to accomplish, which can be isolating. But you can usually find people online who share your interests, who know what you're going through, and who can indeed help you 'get off your butt' :D