Writer Thoughts, Past Works, and Emotional Distance From Your Fiction

[meridian_rose]

For various reasons I was looking back through some of my AO3 works. I ended up re-reading some older ones, two in particular.
One was written and posted in March 2018. Another I posted January 2010.
I enjoyed reading them. I cringed at a couple of SPaG errors and a couple of sentences I'd have left out/reworded. But otherwise these were good. In a "did I write this?" and "I don't think I write as well now as I did then." way.

I saw a Tumblr post via getyourwordsout which I reblogged (sticking things in the queue is all I do in the way of the orig blogs right now)

The post reads "You're better than you think!
If you ever feel unsure about your talent, re-read something you wrote a long time ago.
With the emotional distance that comes with time, you'll be surprised at how good your work actually is! Remember that feeling when you feel doubt. You're better than you think."

But having just read those older fics I added this to the reblog:
"This is true.
(The flip side is I happened to do this recently and now I wonder if I wrote better in the past then I do in the future!)"

I will acknowledge that I was both reading and writing a lot more fanfic generally and for that specific fandom back in 2010, and writing quite a lot for the other specific fandom back in 2018. Because these were completed for various prompts and challenges, I also had to finish and post them. No getting too worried about editing that the final step didn't happen, they had be shared.
Note to self: having a reason/deadline makes you Get Stuff Done and look it Does Not Negatively Affect the Quality.

One more aside. It took me a long time to get past the embarrassment factor of having my work read aloud to me, but using Balabolka (other options are available!) has definitely improved my editing. It not only makes me aware of the bread/beard typos but also punctuation by the pauses or lack thereof. It makes unwieldly sentences more obvious and sometimes I rearrange a whole paragraph or write a new sentence for the sake of flow and to ensure clarity. No skipping ahead when the PC is reading each word at a time and I have to focus instead of skimming.
It also gives me some distance, if that makes sense, and when I post now that work feels more complete somehow.

This feels relevant because of how that Tumblr post talks about emotional distance.
1) Do I feel better about the earlier works purely due to distance in time?
2) Was I genuinely a better writer back then?
3) On the other hand who I am as a person and as a writer is something that constantly changes. That seems important to remember when judging past!me and my work vs who I am now
4) Writing regularly is a good way to keep your skills honed. This applies to most things. I've had to refresh my memory about Photoshop now I've been making icons again after many years not doing so. The flip side: don't feel guilty about not writing. There are fallow times and other ways to be creative and Real Life things that have to dealt with.
5) Having reasons to post/publish means things have to get done instead of languishing on my hard drive for months or years. This also applies to other areas of my life.
bonus 6) Hard learnt lessons: outlines help more than you ever wanted to accept and Yes Write That Down because you won't remember that idea later

So, how about you? Do you re-read your older works? Do you feel you've improved since then or do you feel some older works are better than some current offerings? How does the emotional distance factor in?

Comments

[tellshannon815]

Sometimes if I get an AO3 notification that "So and so left kudos/commented on Fic From Ages Ago" I'll go back and read it.

Another thing I might consider is whether the fandom itself is a factor, whether it's a character I've had quite a bit of experience writing versus a character from a new fandom (for example, from an old and a new fandom for me, do I do better writing Michael Dawson than Boyd Stevens because I've had more practice with Michael? And I'll admit I did lose a bit of confidence with Arrowverse after the "0 the Troll" incident."

[meridian_rose]

That was one reason I went looking, replying to a few comments (I haven't been good at replying at AO3 since my hiatus but now and again I dip in and read some, reply to a few!) from ages ago. It's nice to know people are still finding and reading or even re-reading things.

That's an interesting thought, your experience of writing particular characters.
I skimmed the end of the 'from' s2 finale and the first two s1 episodes recently because I'm working on a Jade-centric piece and there were details about the show that were nagging at me. I'll probably still not get everything perfect but I'm more confident now. I went back and forth about using Mrs Liu or Tiang-Chen (plus where appropriate "Kenny's mother") for a while and had to look up her name and a few other details but my gosh the fandom wiki is woefully out of date!

Ugh, trolls suck. Sorry you went through that.

[tellshannon815]

That is so frustrating when they're as out of date as that. I was debating looking up whether it had ever been mentioned where Victor had originally come from (it's for a Tabitha-centric piece which may touch on the theory that's doing the rounds that Tabitha will meet Victor's sister) - I can't remember it coming up, but suspect that even if it had, it would be difficult to search for. I had the same struggle with The Wilds recently.

[meridian_rose]

I've heard lots of theories that Tabitha will meet Victor's sister and it makes sense :D But no, I don't recall hearing where Victor was from originally.
The wiki did link to a twitter vid posted by the show that confirmed some dates people went missing in our world and even Father Khatri's first name (Rudra), so the writers must have more info then makes in into the script for whatever reason.
https://twitter.com/FROMonMGM/status/1646655039669432320