Sunshine Challenge prompt 7
Aug. 17th, 2019 09:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meridian_rosePrompt 7: Be Your Own Light
"We wanted to end this challenge with something a little different.
At this time, we want to encourage everyone to make a post to discuss at whatever length comfortable something they love about themselves. We recognize that this is both very introspective and personal, and that sharing the results can be difficult."
Some ramblings on what I'm good at and where I'm doing better and where I want to do better, under the cut.
Creativity. It's part of who I am. It's why I get so depressed when I can't write, when the ideas won't come - the words is one thing, but when the ideas go it's hell.
That I enjoy learning new things - new words, new snippets of information each day.
That I try to be a nice person; that doesn't mean I don't have strong opinions on certain things but that I try to interact in nice ways with people. I like to leave comments on fanfic, on graphics, etc. I like to take an interest in people's lives and try to find the right things to say on their personal posts.
I try to give encouragement and virtual hugs where needed.
I don't tolerate bullshit about my sexuality and I do my best to support all the expressions of sex, gender, and sexual orientations.
I don't tolerate betrayal, and as part of that I'm loyal. I've spent time building up relationships online, some good, some where we've become mutual beta-readers and cheerleaders and good friends- right up until they lose interest in their monofandom and dump all traces of fandom and online interaction; or they shit on my sexuality (really tired of this one); or they otherwise dump me. I've become more wary now about developing deeper relationships beyond being acquaintances but I'm not ready to give up completely.
This year my goal at Snowflake Challenge was to be kinder to myself and I'm doing better with it. When I'm not writing I acknowledge that I'm never going to be a 'write every day' person but a 'write in bursts' person. I let myself be sad and feel the feelings until they pass which is way better than pretending I'm not sad.
The person who hurt me while I was down last year pulled a lot of "it's not that bad...you can't still be sad about x...just watch this shitty asmr video*...ugh you're making me sad'. I've got better at accepting my feelings despite that but I still don't write a lot of personal stuff here at DW because I've had the "it's not that bad" from those at LJ, DW, as well as her at Tumblr.
Maybe I can get better at expressing myself again. I've come out of my comfort zone a bit for this challenge which has helped.
On a related note I've got behind on replying to comments and haven't downloaded personal email for months. But I've been making in-roads the last few days by trying to delete some stuff and respond to a few things on the webmail version, and have some ideas on adding filters before I open the email client to reduce overwhelming. Telling myself it's ok not to reply to every single comment, so long as I do the majority and the newest ones. That people understand when things have been rough and you can't do All the Things.
Because I've not seen email for a while I've also missed seeing birthday annoucements and I'm sorry for that. I always like to send good wishes to people. I'll try and do better in future.
One way I am expressing myself more over the past year or two is allowing myself to write fic I want, regardless of the ship, or with asexual characters for example and post. To write some fic that might get unwanted attention and post it anon at AO3 because that's better than not posting at all - I've previously thought I should willingly put my name on anything I post but in these times and where I'm at, that's not always 100% possible.
Despite my lack of writing compared to previous years, I've been posting original content every week to my writing blogs for over a year (not quite two, I think?). Sometimes it's been difficult, sometimes I've had to re-use and slightly edit older content from DW, but increasingly it's been newly written. It doesn't get much audience despite the multiple places I publish and promote, but I do the thing.
The challenge adds If you are able to share your post in some way, we also invite you to ask your friend list to comment and add things they love about you as well. You may well be surprised by the results.
Have at it :)
[*I don't have a problem with asmr vids aside from the idea that they're especially therapeutic though they can be relaxing. I don't get the tingles but they come in a wide variety beyond just 'tapping on a mic and whispering' and like fanfic run the gamut of awful to professionally performed, and some of them are do come into my areas of interest or even kinks. What I didn't appreciate was being told that some strange woman inaudibly whispering affirmations should comfort me as a substitute for interaction with a real (if online) person because they're sick of me being honest about feeling down]
"We wanted to end this challenge with something a little different.
At this time, we want to encourage everyone to make a post to discuss at whatever length comfortable something they love about themselves. We recognize that this is both very introspective and personal, and that sharing the results can be difficult."
Some ramblings on what I'm good at and where I'm doing better and where I want to do better, under the cut.
Creativity. It's part of who I am. It's why I get so depressed when I can't write, when the ideas won't come - the words is one thing, but when the ideas go it's hell.
That I enjoy learning new things - new words, new snippets of information each day.
That I try to be a nice person; that doesn't mean I don't have strong opinions on certain things but that I try to interact in nice ways with people. I like to leave comments on fanfic, on graphics, etc. I like to take an interest in people's lives and try to find the right things to say on their personal posts.
I try to give encouragement and virtual hugs where needed.
I don't tolerate bullshit about my sexuality and I do my best to support all the expressions of sex, gender, and sexual orientations.
I don't tolerate betrayal, and as part of that I'm loyal. I've spent time building up relationships online, some good, some where we've become mutual beta-readers and cheerleaders and good friends- right up until they lose interest in their monofandom and dump all traces of fandom and online interaction; or they shit on my sexuality (really tired of this one); or they otherwise dump me. I've become more wary now about developing deeper relationships beyond being acquaintances but I'm not ready to give up completely.
This year my goal at Snowflake Challenge was to be kinder to myself and I'm doing better with it. When I'm not writing I acknowledge that I'm never going to be a 'write every day' person but a 'write in bursts' person. I let myself be sad and feel the feelings until they pass which is way better than pretending I'm not sad.
The person who hurt me while I was down last year pulled a lot of "it's not that bad...you can't still be sad about x...just watch this shitty asmr video*...ugh you're making me sad'. I've got better at accepting my feelings despite that but I still don't write a lot of personal stuff here at DW because I've had the "it's not that bad" from those at LJ, DW, as well as her at Tumblr.
Maybe I can get better at expressing myself again. I've come out of my comfort zone a bit for this challenge which has helped.
On a related note I've got behind on replying to comments and haven't downloaded personal email for months. But I've been making in-roads the last few days by trying to delete some stuff and respond to a few things on the webmail version, and have some ideas on adding filters before I open the email client to reduce overwhelming. Telling myself it's ok not to reply to every single comment, so long as I do the majority and the newest ones. That people understand when things have been rough and you can't do All the Things.
Because I've not seen email for a while I've also missed seeing birthday annoucements and I'm sorry for that. I always like to send good wishes to people. I'll try and do better in future.
One way I am expressing myself more over the past year or two is allowing myself to write fic I want, regardless of the ship, or with asexual characters for example and post. To write some fic that might get unwanted attention and post it anon at AO3 because that's better than not posting at all - I've previously thought I should willingly put my name on anything I post but in these times and where I'm at, that's not always 100% possible.
Despite my lack of writing compared to previous years, I've been posting original content every week to my writing blogs for over a year (not quite two, I think?). Sometimes it's been difficult, sometimes I've had to re-use and slightly edit older content from DW, but increasingly it's been newly written. It doesn't get much audience despite the multiple places I publish and promote, but I do the thing.
The challenge adds If you are able to share your post in some way, we also invite you to ask your friend list to comment and add things they love about you as well. You may well be surprised by the results.
Have at it :)
[*I don't have a problem with asmr vids aside from the idea that they're especially therapeutic though they can be relaxing. I don't get the tingles but they come in a wide variety beyond just 'tapping on a mic and whispering' and like fanfic run the gamut of awful to professionally performed, and some of them are do come into my areas of interest or even kinks. What I didn't appreciate was being told that some strange woman inaudibly whispering affirmations should comfort me as a substitute for interaction with a real (if online) person because they're sick of me being honest about feeling down]
no subject
Date: 2019-08-18 11:54 am (UTC)