Santa Clarita Diet fic: Peach Roses
Apr. 5th, 2019 05:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meridian_rosePeach Roses (1231 words) by meridian_rose
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Santa Clarita Diet (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Joel Hammond & Eric Bemis, Eric Bemis/Abby Hammond
Characters: Joel Hammond, Eric Bemis
Additional Tags: Future Fic, Family, Weddings, Canon-Typical Behavior, Roses, Star Wars References, Community: trope_bingo, Community: gameofcards, community: 100fandoms, 100fandomsdw
Summary: Future fic. Eric has pre-wedding jitters and Joel tries to calm him down.
For the gameofcards challenge "Wedding Planning", the trope bingo round 12 prompt "marriage" and the 100fandoms prompt "edge"
At AO3 and under the cut
"It's okay," Joel said. This was not the most terrifying situation they'd ever been in, though it was turning into something more stressful than he'd imagined.
Eric, seated on the sofa by the window, was breathing into a paper bag. At least he was hyperventilating and not throwing up into it.
Joel picked up a glass of champagne from the table and sipped at it. "This is good."
"Really?" Eric was still breathing heavily and flushed but he seemed a little calmer.
"Take a sip," Joel said, shoving a glass at him. "Come on, it's your wedding day."
The pained look on Eric's face at the word wedding made Joel wince. If he'd known Eric was going to be this on edge he'd have treated him to some weed before they'd got to the hotel.
In fact Joel had a joint tucked in his back pocket for emergencies and this was shaping up to be an emergency. While neither Hammond woman would be pleased if Eric showed up partially high and smelling of marijuana (if you could smell it over the dozens of roses), it might turn out to be the only way to have Eric show up at all.
It was increasingly the only way Joel could see himself getting through the day. He'd agreed to bring Eric to their room – it had a minibar which was now storing Sheila's own emergency supplies cunningly disguised as chunky tomato soup –while Sheila was in the honeymoon suite with Lisa, overseeing Abby's bridal preparations.
Joel had figured he'd just keep Eric company until the ceremony. That might have been best man duties but the Eric's college friend Dan was running late, his plane having been delayed on the way back from his recent tour with Doctors Without Borders. Dan had sent a message saying he was in a taxi and would be there in time to get changed and take custody of the rings, but until he showed up Joel was here instead.
He'd thought there might be some nervous ramblings because this was Eric and ramblings were his thing. He'd not anticipated having to talk Eric down from a proverbial ledge.
"After only a moment's hesitation Eric took a sip of the champagne. "It's fizzy," he said with a grin.
"That's why they call it bubbly," Joel agreed. He pulled over a chair from the dressing table and sat down next to Eric. While Joel was dressed to kill (not literally, hopefully, but you never knew these days) in his tux, Eric's jacket was crumpled up on the sofa next to him and his tie was draped around his neck. He'd need to tidy Eric up soon.
Eric took another sip. "I'm so nervous. Were you nervous, when you married Sheila?"
"Not like this," Joel said. "But we were outside on the beach, and I was mildly hungover, so circumstances were a little different. I admit I had a few second thoughts that morning but the moment I laid eyes on Sheila they all vanished. Poof!"
He flicked out his fingers, demonstrating.
Eric nodded. "I love Abby."
"I know." Joel put one hand on Eric's shoulder. "And she loves you. But if you're having doubts we can call it off. I don't want either of you entering into a marriage if you're not both 100% committed."
Eric put down the glass. "It's not that! I can't wait to be Eric Hammond."
They'd talked about that but Abby was adamant she wasn't changing her name while Eric was just as keen to take hers. Joel figured it was something to do with wanting to belong to his family. He'd become Eric's father figure before he'd realised what was happening and become genuinely fond him long before the engagement.
Joel squeezed Eric's shoulder before he released him. "Then what's the problem? Is it the roses?"
Sheila had a thing for peach roses and despite Abby's initial protests at the expense the roses had become an integral, even overwhelming, aspect of the wedding. They were everywhere. There were bunches in vases on every table in the venue's dining area and one rose in front of every placemat. Sprays of roses and baby's breath were tied to the sides of the chairs along the aisle. Abby's bouquet was 75% peach roses with 25% soft pink roses for contrast. Further peach roses were provided as buttonholes for the men and corsages for the women. Joel had no objection to the roses as such but their prevalence during the discussions about followed by actual preparation for the big day meant he was starting to dream about them.
"No. I like the roses."
"What then?"
"I just want it to be over. It's not that I don't want to be married, I just don't want to get married. In front of all those people."
Joel heaved a sigh of relief. Not doubts about the commitment just the ceremony. "Maybe you should have eloped," he teased. "Would have kept the costs down." Sheila would have been mad but they could have still thrown a big party afterwards.
Eric shook his head. "We both know Sheila wanted this, and my mom too. I said we'd talked about going to the courthouse and my mom threatened to disown me and Anne said if I broke my mother's heart God would judge me."
"Anne's pretty scary," Joel agreed. "Eric, you have two choices. We call this off and you and Abby can make whatever arrangements you prefer. I promise I will support you and I will make sure Sheila does too. Your mother I have no control over, though Sheila might be able to lean on Anne a bit about the word of God thing."
Eric gave a weak smile. "What's my other choice?"
"You cowboy up and do this. You put on that jacket, you swallow down these nerves, you pretend like your life - no, as if Abby's life - depends on you doing this. You ignore everyone else, you say your vows, you kiss the bride and then we party all night."
Eric perked up. "Pretend? Like roleplay? I could pretend I'm Han Solo marrying Leia?"
Joel spread his hands. "You can pretend to be Luke Skywalker marrying Chewbacca for all I care. The details are up to you, so long as it gets through you the next - " he checked his watch, "hour and five minutes. You can do this, Eric. I've seen you face down the undead, you can handle a few wedding guests most of whom are just as eager as you are to get the ceremony over with the drinking and dancing started."
"I can do this," Eric repeated. "Thanks, Joel."
Eric's phone buzzed and he checked it. "Dan's just arrived at the hotel, he'll be with me in about ten minutes."
"That's great. See, everything's going to plan."
Eric stood and slipped on his jacket. Joel let him fumble with the tie for only a few seconds before he took over.
"There," Joel said, smoothing down Eric's lapels. "Now you look the part. And, um," he wracked his brain for just a moment, "May the Force be with you."
Eric threw his arms around Joel, hugging him tight. "Thanks, dad. I can call you dad, right?"
Joel patted him on the head. He was only surprised this hadn't come up sooner. "I thought you'd never ask, son."
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Santa Clarita Diet (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Joel Hammond & Eric Bemis, Eric Bemis/Abby Hammond
Characters: Joel Hammond, Eric Bemis
Additional Tags: Future Fic, Family, Weddings, Canon-Typical Behavior, Roses, Star Wars References, Community: trope_bingo, Community: gameofcards, community: 100fandoms, 100fandomsdw
Summary: Future fic. Eric has pre-wedding jitters and Joel tries to calm him down.
For the gameofcards challenge "Wedding Planning", the trope bingo round 12 prompt "marriage" and the 100fandoms prompt "edge"
At AO3 and under the cut
"It's okay," Joel said. This was not the most terrifying situation they'd ever been in, though it was turning into something more stressful than he'd imagined.
Eric, seated on the sofa by the window, was breathing into a paper bag. At least he was hyperventilating and not throwing up into it.
Joel picked up a glass of champagne from the table and sipped at it. "This is good."
"Really?" Eric was still breathing heavily and flushed but he seemed a little calmer.
"Take a sip," Joel said, shoving a glass at him. "Come on, it's your wedding day."
The pained look on Eric's face at the word wedding made Joel wince. If he'd known Eric was going to be this on edge he'd have treated him to some weed before they'd got to the hotel.
In fact Joel had a joint tucked in his back pocket for emergencies and this was shaping up to be an emergency. While neither Hammond woman would be pleased if Eric showed up partially high and smelling of marijuana (if you could smell it over the dozens of roses), it might turn out to be the only way to have Eric show up at all.
It was increasingly the only way Joel could see himself getting through the day. He'd agreed to bring Eric to their room – it had a minibar which was now storing Sheila's own emergency supplies cunningly disguised as chunky tomato soup –while Sheila was in the honeymoon suite with Lisa, overseeing Abby's bridal preparations.
Joel had figured he'd just keep Eric company until the ceremony. That might have been best man duties but the Eric's college friend Dan was running late, his plane having been delayed on the way back from his recent tour with Doctors Without Borders. Dan had sent a message saying he was in a taxi and would be there in time to get changed and take custody of the rings, but until he showed up Joel was here instead.
He'd thought there might be some nervous ramblings because this was Eric and ramblings were his thing. He'd not anticipated having to talk Eric down from a proverbial ledge.
"After only a moment's hesitation Eric took a sip of the champagne. "It's fizzy," he said with a grin.
"That's why they call it bubbly," Joel agreed. He pulled over a chair from the dressing table and sat down next to Eric. While Joel was dressed to kill (not literally, hopefully, but you never knew these days) in his tux, Eric's jacket was crumpled up on the sofa next to him and his tie was draped around his neck. He'd need to tidy Eric up soon.
Eric took another sip. "I'm so nervous. Were you nervous, when you married Sheila?"
"Not like this," Joel said. "But we were outside on the beach, and I was mildly hungover, so circumstances were a little different. I admit I had a few second thoughts that morning but the moment I laid eyes on Sheila they all vanished. Poof!"
He flicked out his fingers, demonstrating.
Eric nodded. "I love Abby."
"I know." Joel put one hand on Eric's shoulder. "And she loves you. But if you're having doubts we can call it off. I don't want either of you entering into a marriage if you're not both 100% committed."
Eric put down the glass. "It's not that! I can't wait to be Eric Hammond."
They'd talked about that but Abby was adamant she wasn't changing her name while Eric was just as keen to take hers. Joel figured it was something to do with wanting to belong to his family. He'd become Eric's father figure before he'd realised what was happening and become genuinely fond him long before the engagement.
Joel squeezed Eric's shoulder before he released him. "Then what's the problem? Is it the roses?"
Sheila had a thing for peach roses and despite Abby's initial protests at the expense the roses had become an integral, even overwhelming, aspect of the wedding. They were everywhere. There were bunches in vases on every table in the venue's dining area and one rose in front of every placemat. Sprays of roses and baby's breath were tied to the sides of the chairs along the aisle. Abby's bouquet was 75% peach roses with 25% soft pink roses for contrast. Further peach roses were provided as buttonholes for the men and corsages for the women. Joel had no objection to the roses as such but their prevalence during the discussions about followed by actual preparation for the big day meant he was starting to dream about them.
"No. I like the roses."
"What then?"
"I just want it to be over. It's not that I don't want to be married, I just don't want to get married. In front of all those people."
Joel heaved a sigh of relief. Not doubts about the commitment just the ceremony. "Maybe you should have eloped," he teased. "Would have kept the costs down." Sheila would have been mad but they could have still thrown a big party afterwards.
Eric shook his head. "We both know Sheila wanted this, and my mom too. I said we'd talked about going to the courthouse and my mom threatened to disown me and Anne said if I broke my mother's heart God would judge me."
"Anne's pretty scary," Joel agreed. "Eric, you have two choices. We call this off and you and Abby can make whatever arrangements you prefer. I promise I will support you and I will make sure Sheila does too. Your mother I have no control over, though Sheila might be able to lean on Anne a bit about the word of God thing."
Eric gave a weak smile. "What's my other choice?"
"You cowboy up and do this. You put on that jacket, you swallow down these nerves, you pretend like your life - no, as if Abby's life - depends on you doing this. You ignore everyone else, you say your vows, you kiss the bride and then we party all night."
Eric perked up. "Pretend? Like roleplay? I could pretend I'm Han Solo marrying Leia?"
Joel spread his hands. "You can pretend to be Luke Skywalker marrying Chewbacca for all I care. The details are up to you, so long as it gets through you the next - " he checked his watch, "hour and five minutes. You can do this, Eric. I've seen you face down the undead, you can handle a few wedding guests most of whom are just as eager as you are to get the ceremony over with the drinking and dancing started."
"I can do this," Eric repeated. "Thanks, Joel."
Eric's phone buzzed and he checked it. "Dan's just arrived at the hotel, he'll be with me in about ten minutes."
"That's great. See, everything's going to plan."
Eric stood and slipped on his jacket. Joel let him fumble with the tie for only a few seconds before he took over.
"There," Joel said, smoothing down Eric's lapels. "Now you look the part. And, um," he wracked his brain for just a moment, "May the Force be with you."
Eric threw his arms around Joel, hugging him tight. "Thanks, dad. I can call you dad, right?"
Joel patted him on the head. He was only surprised this hadn't come up sooner. "I thought you'd never ask, son."
