I left my soul there / Down by the sea

[meridian_rose]

Just once a month I make a detailed personal post, and inspired by the Fluent Self blog, I call it a BAG post, where I've Been, am At, am Going. Posts may include work/health/family/pets/creativity/general whining and I finish off by including some gifs for people to enjoy.

However I've been struggling a little and last month was more a few bullet points and this, even later this month entry, is going to be the same.

1) Still mostly avoiding FB though things have quietened down there, but I sometimes want to post to my professional page or add photos for family members to see so I've braved it a couple of times.

2) I still haven't finished writing anything, so haven't posted any fic, and it's starting to weigh heavily on me. I need to get something new posted to my journal and AO3. I need, to meet my professional goals, to post one piece of fic/creative non-fic/poetry to my Wordpress blog this month and I'm thinking of "cheating" and repurposing an original work I posted here for writerverse or some other challenge since it would be new to that audience.

3) I went to the beach for the first time in two years. I live about as far as it is possible to be from the coast and it makes me sad. I'm eclectic in my beliefs and practices but the moon and the tide are strong components of them. It was a hot day and I got to swim briefly, which made me happy that day.

4) I'm still feeling overall disappointed this month. I have not yet recaptured my enthusiasm. Not even bathing in the sea helped. Last time I went to the sea I had the idea which became my favourite ever fic :/ I'm getting there with writing but it's not the joyful experience it should be, and real life is merely okay. I don't have any high hopes for the future or accomplishing my goals.

5) On a lighter note, because I didn't want to whine too much, I made cakes. You can't have any, sorry, but you can see a pic, with my silver nail varnish/polish in shot :)

(click for full size)

Post title from The Sea by Morcheeba

Comments

[cmcmck]

We've managed to move about as far from the sea as it's possible to be in the UK! :o)

[meridian_rose]

It's depressing, at least to me. If I were in Cornwall I'd never be far from the sea, but here it is utterly beyond my resources to journey to the beach. I haven't had a holiday for years. I make the most of walking locally and day trips with family (mostly not the beach because again too far and costly) but right now I'd almost kill for a few days in Hayle, somewhere with special resonance for me :(

[silk_dragon_zen]

I'm happy you enjoyed a day at the sea and that you made some lovely cakes.

And I'm sorry you aren't getting as much enjoyment out of writing as you have in the past. My heart goes out to you.

💜 *offers silk-dragon hugs, if wanted* 💜

[meridian_rose]

Thank you, and thank you for the silk-dragon hugs. It's been a rough few weeks. But I'm going to knuckle down and try and finish and post some fic today, because I've just been putting it off, feeling inadequate. And the only way to get past feeling that way is to take action.