Being an introvert

[meridian_rose]

Interesting article I read over the weekend:

More than anyone else, introverts are masters at prioritizing quality over quantity, especially when it comes to friends. They form fewer but deeper relationships with people. Amazingly though, many introverts thrive in the online world. Perhaps because online communication and networking gives them more time to think and reflect about how to express their responses as compared to real-world conversations.

7 Positives Only Introverts Would Understand



I don't agree 100% with the entire article, but this one I absolutely do. Online communication is just as valid to me as in-person communication, and lets me deal with things at my own pace. Online relationships can be built on common interests and experiences, not just accidents of geography or employment. There's zero pressure to develop a romantic or sexual connection.

Quality not quantity, few but deep; these things ring true. When I do develop a connection, I take it seriously. This isn't a lesser friendship than one I have with someone I've met in "real life". If I've let you into my life, then I've shared personal things and I've hopefully been supportive/encouraging or helpful to you in some way. So I do take it hard when I get cut out of someone's life, whatever their reasons.

 


On the subject on dealing with things at my own pace:

Unless you're a close family member, email me. I'll probably get back to you faster.

Finally, for the lulz:

Comments

[setentpet.livejournal.com]

Excellent article and while I don't agree 100% either a lot of it is spot on and describes me to a T. I do actually sit around and hope things get cancelled. lol

[meridian_rose]

Oh, even some things I want to do (and enjoy when I get there) fill me with dread, so I sometimes hope they're cancelled!

[et-tu-lj.livejournal.com]

So true. The other points, hit or miss, but that one absolutely. I'd say the one that's least true for me is the wanting a party to be cancelled, but I've also settled into where most of my friends are introverts too and our definition of party is 3-5 people doing exactly what we want to do anyway. It was more true back in college when party meant a scary extroverted affair. Those, I was definitely relieved if they got cancelled.

[meridian_rose]

Small groups of people I like are okay, but yes, going anywhere with lots of people freaks me out!

[meridian_rose]

I'm glad it's not just me :D I expect everyone to talk to the answerphone and only pick up if it's family.

I say that last one tongue in cheek, but truthfully I know I could do better if I didn't procrastinate so much.
There's a combination of factors involved but it's mostly (a) job seems overwhelming, (b) fear of endings, if I don't do the thing it can't be over, (c) fear of not being good enough.
That last one does tie in with the perfectionist ideal. I try to do things I'm not necessarily good at(eg amateur art, playing Escape The Room games with the help of walkthroughs) and things with deadlines (bingo cards, landcomms) to try convincing myself it's okay if things aren't perfect, so long as they're done and I'm having fun/learning things.
When it comes to writing however, I'm much harder on myself. I want to be good at it and I want others to see me as being good at it. So there's a push-pull between "do" and "don't, it'll be a failure"!

[meridian_rose]

Oh, I would never do it at work or anywhere people are relying on me! :) Only when it affects me - which is another part of the problem, perhaps, self-motivation for the sake of it. I can see how those behaviours are cringeworthy! I get very pissed off about incompetence and "I didn't do it at all, because, perfectionist" in a work/group setting would make me pissed!