meridian_rose

As it is Asexual Awareness Week I'm going to hopefully post a few times this week on this topic.

Day One – overview

Something I want to address, that demisexuals in particular suffer from, is the positioning of asexuality as a choice.
You cannot choose to be asexual. You can only choose to be celibate. Do not say "I'm giving up on men, I'm going to be asexual in future".
If you desire sex when you are dating someone but refuse to act on that desire until you know them better/have been together a month/other criteria applies you are not asexual.
A demisexual is not "just someone with morals" as I've seen mentioned a few times on Tumblr, meaning no one night stands. A demisexual person is not making a value judgement about when it is all right to have consensual sex with someone and when it is not. They simply do not have sexual attraction for the person/people they are dating until the bond develops enough that they feel sexual attraction.
It's not "I'd like to fuck you but it's inappropriate". It's "I like you but I don't feel sexually attracted to you," followed by "Hey, actually now I do want to fuck you". When or if they choose to act on that desire is down to their personal morals, but the attraction itself is not a choice.

I've written about asexuality before and you can find past posts, both meta and fic, under various tags including
theme: asexuality spectrum @LJ ; @DW
#identity @LJ ; @DW
theme: non-sexual intimacy @LJ @DW

One or two of the identity posts may be f-locked but most of my posts are public.

If you're really new to the concept of asexuality, there's a useful primer here Asexuality and this article written for the awareness week debunks some of the myths about asexuality.

More in the next post.