Well that's depressingly accurate

[meridian_rose]

Found on Tumblr: http://themisadventuresofmaddy.tumblr.com/post/42969114628/do-you-ever-feel-like-youre-just-sort-of-there

First thought: this is me. This is precisely how I feel.
Second thought: this is how I feel some of the time. And It's not like I want to be in lots of real world (and physical) relationships. But connection is important. Feeling valued is important.
Third thought: Look at all these notes -194,321 in 3 months. Even allowing for doubles (a 'like' and a reblog by the same person) that's a hell of a lot of people feeling the same way.
Fourth thought: It's a relief to know other people feel the same way and that someone has put it out there for us to know we're not alone
Fifth thought: It's not even true for most of these people. I hope they know that it's not true, certainly not true all the time.
Sixth thought: I really ought to take my own advice and recognise that it's not true for me either, certainly not to the extent I often believe it to be.
Seventh thought: Needs to be shared more. Shall put it on LJ. Holy crap, it's a rare day I find something quite so thought proving on Tumblr.

Comments

[dorothydeath]

BB, can I just give you all the hugs in the world? Because I really want to!
*HUGS TIGHT*

I'm sorry you feel this way sometimes, bb. I wish I could be a better friend to you. I wish I could make you feel awesome because you're awesome and you deserve that. You're an amazing person, bb, and you mean to me more than I can ever tell! I don't know how to show it and if you could just tell me what to do I'd be very grateful to you and I'll try my best to make things right!

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :D It was just one of those things that really resonated with me. That rightly or wrongly, this is how I sometimes feel. I'm constantly trying to remind myself that it isn't that way, and I'm usually gentler with myself these days. Part of not being harsh on myself is to truly feel whatever it is I'm feeling at that moment and acknowledge that before I try to look at it objectively. And sometimes there isn't much anyone else can do to make me feel any differently; it's about how I feel about myself. Though of course feeling valued or wanted or needed does come into it. But everyone feels that sometimes!
HUGS

[eternal-moonie.livejournal.com]

I'm more of like 'everyone gets into relationships with eachother and why can't I' so in a way that's so true.

[meridian_rose]

We're all alone but still in this together *HUGS*

[hrhrionastar.livejournal.com]

I think everyone feels like that sometimes. But when 'everyone else' is doing something and I'm not, I've learned to ask myself, is that because I can't do the thing or just because I don't want to? And if I don't want to, then why waste my time fretting that I'm not doing it? If that makes sense ;)

[meridian_rose]

Yes; for some people it's that they want to be in a relationship. And since I don't, that's not what's bugging me exactly - as you say, if I don't want to then why worry about that in particular? :)
But it's more the second part, existence without meaning, the thought that no-one would miss me if I wasn't around, that I identify with. And then I get not just upset but angry at the societal pressures and media barrage that insists that's my own fault for not doing the 'right thing' and going out clubbing or, by now, being in a monogamous sexual partnership(relationship!hierarchy) because then at least one person would miss me. Ugh. Insecurities, I have them. But at least seeing this reassures me that many people do feel the same way!

[hrhrionastar.livejournal.com]

I'd miss you!

And I think it's unambitious to want to be in a relationship because then one person would miss you.

I do worry, because I'm not around LJ as much now, that I'm getting further away from people - not so much missed/not missed, as just losing the closeness. Maybe that's inevitable, though, I don't know :(

[meridian_rose]

♥
It's definitely unambitious, but you hear people talk like this all the time, about needing to marry or remarry (widows and divorcees aren't allowed to stay single!), have kids, make sure there are people who are obligated to care about you. (Even though it's obvious that the 'obligation' doesn't always work)

I hate to think of relationships as work but I think there is an aspect of putting in effort to all relationships. There are people who show up a few times a year to LJ and post how they HAZ A BOYFRIEND! or LOST MA JOB :( Depending on past experiences with them I may or may comment, but I find it increasingly hard to give a damn about someone's life when they've shown no interest in my joys or woes for the last six months. So I really value interactions with people that I feel some connection to - you and Becky and Anna and Pris and eternal-moonie and vorquellen, who are a genuine part of my social circle and not just shadowy virtual presences like some of those 'Facebook Friends' :D

[pristineungift.livejournal.com]

I would miss you if you were gone. <-Just thought I'd say that. In fact, I experience anxiety when RL keeps me away from LJ, because I worry all of my internet friends will forget about me/think I forgot about them and hate me.

This seemed like a post to tell you this on. /read that in a way that makes sense.

[meridian_rose]

Yesss, that's the opposite side of the coin. I'm here and thinking people wouldn't miss me if I weren't, and when you're not here you're worrying that people aren't missing you. Things we believe aren't the same as the way things are, which in these cases is a good thing! Just remembering that is the hard part.