Creativity and Conflict

[meridian_rose]

I've been posting snippets of original fiction but until yesterday I hadn't been able to write any fanfic for months - ideas were there, but they refused to be typed out.

Sunday was an okay day until the evening when there was some [minor, though it didn't feel like it at the time] family drama which led to me feeling very upset and going to bed early. I actually slept quite well and woke up feeling pretty good.

First thing Monday morning I checked my email and found the hiatus challenge card for angst-bingo. I pondered all the possible options, and suddenly decided I could work 'electrocution' and 'emails/letters' into the fantasy setting that 'dungeons' suggested, and squeeze in 'unfaithful' without too many problems. I wrote the initial draft in about an hour, edited it, asked for - and got - a beta. The fic was posted, and cross-posted everywhere I could think of.

I was so thrilled by this I signed up for one, and am contemplating signing up another, big bang fest. But part of me wonders if my creativity is linked to conflict, and what that means for me long-term. Some of my most intense fic, original and fannish, has been written or conceived of, during dark times. Some of my favourite works however, have been written during more happier times. It's not something I need all the time, obviously.

So, creative people: your moods and emotions, personal circumstances, dramas or joys; how, if at all, do they affect your creative output?

Comments

[ivanolix.livejournal.com]

I tend to write on far sides of the same spectrum; I have my fluffy relationship/family fic (also crossovers and lighthearted AUs), and I have my intense drama fic. The former is usually prompted by fandom friends in discussions, and so the more excited and happy I am, the more likely I am to get writing instead of storing the plotbunny for later. The high emotion I feel from discussing an idea gets the muses to start talking.

Darker fic, though, requires a deep connection with the characters. And I find it difficult to achieve that when things are good. When things are not as good, the connection is much smoother and the writing flows well. There's also a reward, a catharsis, to writing darkfic when life is dark—and that's what pushes the muses to start speaking.

[meridian_rose]

Catharsis; yes, I can relate, I think, to that. I'm just not sure if it's always a great trade-off.

Is there any way, I wonder, to recreate these intense feelings to write darker themes without actually suffering through bad times? Keeping a journal could help, I suppose - if I hadn't made notes, I'd never believe how bad things were at one point.

I know there will always be 'less happy' times and 'more happy' times but I wonder if it is naive to think it's possible to avoid crises altogether.

Thanks, as always, for commenting and bringing your ideas to the table :D

[ivanolix.livejournal.com]

There's a quote about writing that says that it's easy, all you do is open a vein and bleed onto the page. I agree with that when it comes to darker fic. A lot of my intense writing is very personal in a way, so I'm not sure I could do it without the right mental/emotional focus that comes through living through dark times.

[meridian_rose]

Yes, I know the quote you mean :D On a good day I think it's a bit morbid and overkill - writing is joyous - but on a more difficult day, and/or writing a darker fic, I think it's rather accurate.
I suppose we at least turn our experiences into something positive, and that might even help others, by writing it out.

[brontefanatic.livejournal.com]

This is hard for me to answer as I am chronically anxious and a worrier, and almost always feel under pressure.

I work under a constant set of deadlines, and although writing has been a pleasant surprise for me in the last year, it has also added another set of deadlines in my brain, which I irrationally find myself resenting.

I have a fic I need to finish and I feel guilty about not meeting the "deadline" for getting it finished. I get angry at myself for feeling guilty, and then it just becomes a vicious cycle which, of course, stifles creativity.

The more agitated I am, the more scattered my thoughts, and it's more difficult to sit down and concentrate on writing or to get my ideas organized.

Once I can force myself to sit down and start typing, I'm usually there for the long haul. I write in long stretches - sometimes 12 hours straight - because I'm very slow and once I finally get started I tune everything out and lose track of time. But I have to feel the inspiration to do so, which right now I'm not.

I'm not disciplined enough to set aside a certain amount of time everyday to sit down and write, and I never set a limit on myself as to word count, etc.

When I'm going through a hard stretch in my personal life, writing is sometimes a way I can distance myself from those problems and immerse myself in another world. That probably isn't very healthy or constructive.

As far as how my moods affect the types of stories I write - I really don't think I've done enough to be able to make a correlation, although even my lighter stories seem to have some undercurrent of darkness. IDK

I don't know if I'm really answering your question. Rambling comment is rambling.

[meridian_rose]

I have a fic I need to finish and I feel guilty about not meeting the "deadline" for getting it finished. I get angry at myself for feeling guilty, and then it just becomes a vicious cycle which, of course, stifles creativity. I think many of us have been there. You've more willpower than I do, though, to write for so many hours straight.

I actually think writing to distance yourself from problems can be healthier than brooding on them. There's a reason I say things like 'fandom saved my life'. Writing can take you out of your own despair for a while, and that can be freeing.

Thanks for posting your thoughts. It's something else to think about :D

[kaytstarr.livejournal.com]

There used to be a perception that an artist had to live in some garret and suffer for his/her art.

I do find however that the more someone has experienced in life (good or bad) the more someone has to draw on when writing. I find some of the poorer stories are often written by younger or naieve people who are trying to write stories or emotions that they have no experience of (either personally, from close friends/family, or even literature and films).

My personal difficulty is finding enough time, I'm writing this while cooking tea! I have about ten half finished stories, that I am slowly getting down on paper and only about 30 minutes to an hour a day to write. Time to go, sausages are burning!

[meridian_rose]

I hope you didn't burn the sausages :D Thanks for dropping in while being so busy.

I think you're right - though I love that you talk about experience coming from friends, family, and media as well as personally. We can't do or be all that we want to write about - nor would we like to, I'd imagine. And any experiences we have had do naturally inform our work.

[hrhrionastar.livejournal.com]

I'm really to busy to comment properly (rl, sigh), but this is a fascinating discussion.

I think it's impossible for emotion and personal life and experience not to affect one's writing, but I don't always know how they're going to...

I have been depressed or unhappy or angry to the extent where I can't even think about anything relating to my stories, or my creativity.

Other times, I've been in a dark place emotionally but that's inspired me, or else I've written something for catharsis that isn't fit to be seen by other eyes than mine.

And then there are the stories that come from love of the characters, or delight in a particular set of circumstances, or fruitful discussion, or even reading someone else's take on a particular character or AU and disagreeing with them...

Inspiration comes from so many sources - and yet some of my darkest fics are more about proving something to myself or exploring a possibility than they are about my own angst...and some of those are my favorites.

So I guess it depends ;)

[meridian_rose]

It depends covers so many situations :D It's true that turbulent times might lead to fluffy fic as an escape or discussions that inspire might lead to angsty character studies. But overall it seems most writers here acknowledge that their emotional states do affect their work in some way - which is something worth exploring :D