Fic: We Haven't Got Time For Games

[meridian_rose]

Title: We Haven't Got Time For Games
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Aura
Pairing/Characters: Carter, Robin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 575
Prompt: For the writerverse challenge Zoom In/Zoom Out b
Summary: Dammit, we were going to be late if Robin didn't hurry up. Why I'd agreed to pick him up was beyond me. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that Aura had used her Allure on me.
Notes: This is a reworked version of 'No Time For Games'. As per the challenge rules, it is a retelling in a different POV (first person).
Warnings: None


I knocked on the apartment door. Dammit, we were going to be late if Robin didn't hurry up. Why I'd agreed to pick him up was beyond me. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that Aura had used her Allure on me.

"Robin, if you want a ride, hurry up," I yelled. "And if you don't, then I'm leaving, and you can call a cab and explain to Aura why you're late." It was the best threat I could think of.

At that, the door opened. Robin was wearing a soft grey sweater and tight black jeans. He looked me over, much as I had him. His expression changed from nonchalant to what I couldn't help but think of as lustful.

"Don't you look lovely," Robin said softly. With the swiftness of a cobra, he reached out and grabbed my chin. For a moment I was forced to look into Robin's eyes. He was shorter than me, and looked terribly young, but right then he was the predator and I the prey, a tiger toying with a deer.

I didn't know if he was going to bite me (in daylight? Was that possible?) or kiss me.

Or worse.

I'd been a cop too long to be intimated easily though, and through some genetic quirk I was mostly immune to the Allure. I pulled myself together and instead of stepping back, retreating like a scared rabbit, I stepped forward. Robin had to either release me or step back – he did both. There was an instant when he seemed surprised but it was gone so quickly I wondered if I had imagined it. He smiled at me like an indulgent parent. As if I'd passed some sort of test and had earned his respect and approval.

Well I didn't I care if I had or not.

Arrogant goddamn supernaturals.

I took the initiative. "We haven't got time for games," I snapped, stepping back into the hallway and gesturing impatiently toward the elevator.

"I'm coming," Robin said as if nothing had happened. He grabbed his keys from the sideboard. "As the showgirl said to the bishop. Is that a sexist joke now? I suppose so. Though it's all innuendo and probably more…what is it? Racism but for religion?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. "Blasphemy?" I hazarded and he nodded. With the door locked we finally headed down the corridor.

Robin thought blasphemy was a silly idea, something to do with Isis.

"The only difference is in the number of believers a religion has, and that can change so very fast," he went on. "Not so long ago many worshipped Her. I could tell you stories –"

"We don’t have time," I repeated. I knew how this went. I spent hours listening to Aura and Nikolai's stories, their various adventures and half-truths and twisted recollections of bygone times. Robin didn't pay me any mind though, and chattered on about a Roman temple he'd once visited all the way to the car. God, how old was this guy? Physical appearance meant nothing. All I knew for sure was that he was older than Nikolai, something I had to keep trying to remember when Robin persisted in looking so youthful and naïve.

On the bright side, I thought, tuning him out as I started the car, if he was using his mouth for talking he wasn't using it on me in any way, shape, or form.

Comments

[eternal-moonie.livejournal.com]

AMAZING new original work honey!

*HUGS*

[meridian_rose]

Thank you very much :D (It feels a bit like cheating to retell a work but that was the challenge, and I did end up writing more words to make it work :D)

[dorothydeath.livejournal.com]

It was the best threat I could think of.
Awwww, but Carter is cute! :D

but right then he was the predator and I the prey, a tiger toying with a deer.
BB, I'm being nit-picky again. Doesn't it read as if Carter calls himself a tiger rather than Robin? Because he says "I the prey, a tiger..." my mind jumps to a (obviously wrong) conclusion that Carter's the tiger here, that of course isn't true.
Maybe if you moved things around like "but right then he was a tiger toying with a deer, the predator and I the prey." it would be more clear... O_o
Sorry. I'm annoying. :D

Or worse.
LOLOLOL :D

He smiled at me like an indulgent parent.
Awwwwww, so sweet))))

Well I didn't I care if I had or not.
Arrogant goddamn supernaturals.
I hear you, buddy, I hear you! :D
Awwwwww))) Is it possible not to love Carter right now?

Robin thought blasphemy was a silly idea, something to do with Isis.
OMG LOLOLOLOL DYING ROFL ROFL

I knew how this went. I spent hours listening to Aura and Nikolai's stories, their various adventures and half-truths and twisted recollections of bygone times.
Oh that is so accurate! I love that he's thinking that! :D

chattered on about a Roman temple he'd once visited all the way to the car
I'm reading this as "visited [temple] all the way to the car" then get confused, then laugh because it's too funny and I don't even want you to change it! :D

something I had to keep trying to remember when Robin persisted in looking so youthful and naïve.
LOLOLOL :D I love this! :D

if he was using his mouth for talking he wasn't using it on me in any way, shape, or form.
OMG I CAN'T *IZ DEAD*

BB, it's brilliant!!! ALKSJFHGASLKFJGHFLGKHS!!!!! The alternative POV works perfectly!! Awesome piece!!! :D
*FLAILS HARD*

[meridian_rose]

but right then he was the predator and I the prey, a tiger toying with a deer.
BB, I'm being nit-picky again. Doesn't it read as if Carter calls himself a tiger rather than Robin? Because he says "I the prey, a tiger..." my mind jumps to a (obviously wrong) conclusion that Carter's the tiger here, that of course isn't true.

I did struggle with this. I was going to write it that way but I thought it was more correct this way, grouping the terms in the order in which they appear:
He (Robin), Predator, tiger
I (Carter), Prey, deer

It could be either, I suppose, and maybe I'd have to rewrite the sentence to make it clear :)

chattered on about a Roman temple he'd once visited all the way to the car
I'm reading this as "visited [temple] all the way to the car" then get confused, then laugh because it's too funny and I don't even want you to change it! :D LOL, good catch. There should probably be a comma in there!

something I had to keep trying to remember when Robin persisted in looking so youthful and naïve.
LOLOLOL :D I love this! :D Thank you! I liked the idea of Carter blaming Robin, as if Robin is looking young just to piss Carter off :D

if he was using his mouth for talking he wasn't using it on me in any way, shape, or form.
OMG I CAN'T *IZ DEAD* :D

I thought this was going to be easy, just change he to I and so on. But I found myself adding things and changing things, so it was a more interesting exercise than I expected :D

[hrhrionastar.livejournal.com]

Interesting to see it from a different pov :D I like the sense of Carter's aggravation we get here.

On the bright side, I thought, tuning him out as I started the car, if he was using his mouth for talking he wasn't using it on me in any way, shape, or form. LOL :D

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :D
I thought this was going to be easy, just change he to I and so on. But I found myself adding things and changing things, so it was a more interesting exercise than I expected :D
I'm glad his sense of aggravation shows through, and that his cynicism in that last line works :D

[unwritten-muse.livejournal.com]

I really like the first-person version of this much better than the third person and I'm not even sure I can articulate why. It's possible that it's because we're in Carter's head, who's the person that I can relate to more, but I'm not really sure that's the only reason. In any event, I liked reading this and felt I could settle into the story better with it in first person.

I don't often read other comments, but I did see someone mention the line about being the predator and the prey. I wanted to add some confusion into the mix (*g*) and say that I think it's definitely clear as written. As you said, the two phrases mirror each other (predator/prey, tiger/deer) and I didn't get confused there at all. Just my two cents. : )

[meridian_rose]

Thank you for your comments! I don't usually write first person in this 'verse beyond some backstory told by the female character, so this was challenging, and I'm glad you thought it improved the story!

I'm relieved about the whole mirroring of the phrases because I was starting to wonder about that! So thank you very much for that :D

[haeceity]

It's amazing how much difference POV makes. I like how Robin makes even less sense from Cater's POV than in general.

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :) I guess Carter's pretty bemused by Robin, and hence he seems even more nonsensical than when we're seeing Robin through a third person POV.