"Those weren't short stories. Those were novels. I just never finished them."

[meridian_rose]

As I wrote here I've decided to do Rebel NaNo. In preparation I decided to clear up some of my files so I knew what existing WiPs I have and to make my PC tidier before my planned full back-up in December. Turns out I have three huge folders of downloaded/to file items and about five folders of various WiPs/ideas, plus various specific folders for ongoing projects, and about 200 misc files in the My Documents folder that ought to be in their specific folders. For someone who likes organising things I have a lot of "to be sorted" piles of stuff.


I need to keep better track of things. I need to use Scrivener for fics that are more than a one-shot since it allows me to keep all my research and notes for a fic with that project. I need to commit to finishing and posting things – or filing in the archive folder those projects that will never be finished now. I've got some ideas about tracking potential projects, let's see how that works out.

Someone on Dreamwidth mentioned bullet journaling a while ago and I was sceptical but I've come to realise this is almost exactly how I use paper journals, just this is superior because of the addition of indexing. So I'm giving that a go.

As part of this clean up and reordering I found, filed, and posted to AO3, a number of fics written for challenges, mostly Whedonland but not all. Firefly, Dollhouse, Legend of the Seeker. I feel I used to be more prolific. But that's something useful about landcomms, the need to write a finished drabble, even if I didn't post it elsewhere at the time; I had reason and a deadline to write it. I need to find ways to have reason and deadlines for other works.

Something I found during my clearing up was a diary type entry of the kind I constantly make and summed up recent feelings; I'm just talking to myself, I will never succeed, everything is pointless. It's cathartic to pour out your pain which is why I (and people generally?) have more of these sort of entries than the ones that talk of small successes. It's comforting that I get past these down periods and go on to create more things and find enjoyment – but also disheartening that I keep coming back to this same place of despair. And I ought to be writing my successes out too, to focus on the good.

I'm maybe not getting all my notifications on the LJ side of things – anyone else having this issue? I got a notification for one comment on my recent entry but not a notification for the other which is the only reason I know this. I know I've left a few comments at various LJ journals but not received replies to all of them so I wonder if LJ is glitching again. I've taken to double checking my entries after a few days for new comments. On a related note the personal email some of you have doesn't always seem to work for unknown reasons – the meridianrose email fares better, so if you want to contact me, use that one if you have it (and if you don't have it ask and I'll give it to you :D)
I've also had some minor but irritating connection issues with the internet.

I posted a question/discussion for a fandom I know some of my Tumblr followers are in – to resounding silence. I later made a post complaining about the lack of communities on Tumblr since at LJ/DW I could post to a community and reach many interested parties whereas on Tumblr the tag system is a mixed blessing; unless you post at the exact "right" time, and/or you're a BNF in the fandom, or a popular blogger reblogs your post it will probably go largely unnoticed.
Cue several likes on the "lack of community" post. It's obvious from this and the frequent "I wish X" posts (where X=something LJ does that Tumblr doesn't, or X=LJ was "still a thing") that people want better than Tumblr, that many remember that LJ/DW has qualities Tumblr lacks, and yet people still won't put the effort in to use/return to journaling because the clicking "like" culture is too damn easy. And it's also a cult of the most popular (like those people who'll only read works with ~x number of comments as if that's a true indicator of quality) making it more difficult for individuals and small fandoms to make connections and thrive.
But sometimes Tumblr is the only fannish interaction I can get :/ And the "you should be writing" graphics I make sometimes get interest – I don't know how much promoting fic at Tumblr makes for AO3 traffic but I do hope it helps.

This is still as indepth as I'm going to go in a personal entry this time. I've got more prep work to do, prioritising my projects and deciding on details for any new works I want to tackle for NaNo.

---

"Those weren't short stories. Those were novels. I just never finished them." (Sibling Rivalry, 1990)