Poem: Hypocrisy (LJ Idol Last Chance week 4)

[meridian_rose]

Title: Hypocrisy
Fandom: Original. Prose poetry.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 514
Prompt: For the therealljidol prompt "hair shirt"
Summary: Sometimes you hide who you are because the kickback would be worse than the daily humiliation.
Content Notes: Religion, homophobia, and the intersection thereof.



Morning, he says and she nods and smiles
Because she can't afford to fall out with her neighbours
Especially one who runs the neighbourhood watch, who
Sits on every local community board he can
He's a magistrate for crying out loud.

You look very smart, he says.
It's not a compliment really, not for her
He means she looks modest, covered up, demure.
She gives another smile, one that doesn't reach her eyes.
Thank you, she says, with saccharine sweetness.

They get to the bus stop. He's walking to the local shop
But he decides to wait with her.
Oh, joy. Please let the bus come soon.
You remind me of my daughter, he says
And she stifles a sigh.

This paragon of Christian virtue
Hasn't spoken to his daughter in two years
Not since the day she told him she was gay.
He prays for her, he says, but it's hardly out of compassion
More a longing for her to be straight.

He prays for forgiveness, he says, but she knows it is
Not for the way he has treated his daughter
But for his supposed wrongdoing in raising her
"Letting her" turn out this way
Allowing her to be a disgrace to his name.

He claims he begs to be punished for not
Punishing her enough to keep her "right".
He won't hear that sexual orientation is inbuilt
That you cannot chose who you are attracted to
That no amount of pain can change it.

She dislikes him intently and her fake smile
Becomes harder to maintain each time.
She hates his dismissal of his only child
Of how he has made himself a martyr
Wounded by her "sin".

She hates his false piety, the way he humblebrags
Of his charity work and his faith.
She's pretty sure the Bible has something to say
About preaching in the street for your own glory
Instead of praying in private.

She hates how he makes every conversation
About him and his woes and tribulations
Before shrugging it off with pithy Biblical quotes
Acting as though it's an honour to be so tested
As if he's being both tried and rewarded.

She thinks he's the sort to wear a hair shirt
And talk of how it itches, but how that itching is
A glorious gift. Even though in his hypocrisy
He's wearing it with the hair side out
So everyone can see his devoutness.

The bus arrives and she gets on, her smile
Vanishing as soon as the vehicle moves off.
She is more like his daughter than he knows;
Before the man she's now dating,
She was with a woman.

If she didn't think it would cause her problems
She'd tell him her truth, although bisexuality
Probably doesn't exist in his mind or his vocabulary.
But then maybe he'd stop buttonholing her.
Walking her to the bus stop.

Would stop him casually insulting her with his
Weary declarations of his failings, his despair
At his sinful child
But she dare not risk it. She's not out to everyone.
No need to make a hair shirt for herself.

---

In the UK Magistrates are volunteers who hear cases in courts in their community

She's pretty sure the Bible has something to say / About preaching in the street for your own glory x

In Molière's play, Tartuffe, the title character is shown to be a religious hypocrite when he wears a hair shirt with the hair lining facing outward, so that it can be seen, rather than felt. Cilice

Her neighbour is the sort to be homophobic regardless, but he's using his religion as an excuse. There are plenty of progressive religious people and organisations who would be saddened at his behaviour towards his daughter, and some beautiful outreach efforts to counter anti-gay sentiment in the Church, but the fact remains that homophobia is at the forefront of fundamentalist beliefs (and it is often fundamentalists whose views are most reported), to the extent that a survey for a book on non-Christians attitudes to Christians found that 91% of those surveyed described Christians as antihomosexual (87% used the adjective "judgmental" and 85% the term "hypocritical").

Comments

[megabyte]

Hi! I'm in LJ Idol, and came over to read. I really like this! I think a LOT of people live this way, especially with their neighbors. It's interesting that the people you live right next to are often the ones you "hide" from most, hiding in plain sight, I guess.

[meridian_rose]

Thank you! Very true - it might even be easier to "out" yourself in some way to a stranger than risk rejection by friends and loved ones.

[medleymisty.livejournal.com]

I just don't see how religion is an excuse for hate and abandoning your own kids.

I like the poem!

[meridian_rose]

Me neither.
Thank you :D

[meridian_rose]

Oh, yes, it's not just religion but an overall mindset of noble suffering that everyone should respect them for. Thank you, I'm so glad it came across well :)

[the-dark-snack.livejournal.com]

It may not seem so at first, but my entry is incredibly similar in topic to yours. Great poem. I need to try to write more poetry myself these days.

[meridian_rose]

I'm glad you see some similarities. Thank you. You should try more poetry - sometimes I find poetry lets me express emotions more freely than in prose :)

[vik_thor]

Nice Poem.
(this is the first one of the entries I've read)

This is the direction I had in mind, but couldn't figure out how to do it, so I ended up sortof rambling.

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :)
And of course I loved your rambling, because, goats :D

[itsjustc.livejournal.com]

What a nightmare of a man!

She thinks he's the sort to wear a hair shirt
And talk of how it itches, but how that itching is
A glorious gift. Even though in his hypocrisy
He's wearing it with the hair side out
So everyone can see his devoutness.

I loved this verse even before I read your comments.

It is interesting that about 90% of my friends are gay and it is true that as the only Christian amongst them their attitude towards Christians is understandably very harsh. I'm a very liberal Christian, and would hate to attend the sort of church that a man like this goes to x

I'm not saying I'm perfect and not a hypocrite. My favourite poster I ever saw outside a church said - "You may say this church is full of hypocrites, well you're wrong - there's always room for one more!" too true for us all!

[meridian_rose]

Thank you very much for your thoughts - and liberal attitudes :)

[n3m3sis43.livejournal.com]

Blergh at people like him. Or really anyone who needs to go around breast-beating over "what did I do wrong? I tried so hard" because their child didn't grow up to fit their image of the perfect extension of themselves. Not that I'm bitter or anything. ;-)

[meridian_rose]

Blergh indeed, and hugs if you need them. Thank you for reading!

[witches.livejournal.com]

such a beautiful poem <3

[meridian_rose]

Thank you very much :D

[uncawes.livejournal.com]

Lovely way you exposed the bigotry.
And the religious aspect - wow. I have a rather lengthy story of my youngest child not understanding how some churchgoers could protest LGBT rights, and other churchgoers support the community. But perhaps that could be an LJI entry some time :)

[meridian_rose]

Thank you!
Yes, that could make a good entry :)

[kehlen-crow.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this. Both what you wrote and the rhythm of the piece. (She is in a hateful situation and likely feels like a hypocrite for not speaking up. I do in similar situations.)

Typo:
humble brags (humbly)

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :) Yes, it does feel hypocritical when you don't speak up, even though it might not be safe for you to do so, depending on circumstances.

I wasn't going for humbly brags but the neologism humblebrag; but researching a suitable link has proven it *is* a typo because it ought to be one word, making it clear it is humblebrag and humbly brag, so I will fix it, thank you :)