Poetry Week Day One

[meridian_rose]

I decided I'm going to write poetry for 5-7 days. There's a loose theme of creativity, especially the highs and lows, and the importance of audience.

Day One

Smile, And the World Will Turn a Blind Eye

They say smile, and the world smiles with you
Cry, and you cry alone
What a lie

Be happy
Tell people about your passions
Be proud of your skills
Find a favourite restaurant
Be creative
Share your joy
Write fic or poetry or a textbook
Sew a tapestry
Paint a masterpiece
Share a scrapbook of photos
But don't expect these things
To matter

Be sad
Whine and complain
Others will chime in
Their jobs suck, or suck worse
Misery loves company
Tell people you're sad or you're sick
Or depressed
And they'll send you best wishes
Tell you you're valuable
That what you do has meaning

If I'm of value
Then why is it only true
When I'm miserable?
Does my happiness not inspire?
Is my joy not worth sharing in?
If I actually possess any skill in putting words to paper
Or in painting a portrait
Then are the words not worth reading?
Is the picture not worth viewing?

If I were rich
If I were famous
If I were a real author
With real books to my name
Would people clamour to befriend me?
Would I be popular
Even though I'd still be the same person
With the same hopes and dreams
And passions and woes.
Are celebrity or sickness
The only things people care about?

(But don't whine too much
Understandably, no-one likes that, either)

People cry at funerals for their missing friends
People say they've been robbed of loved ones
Many people are hypocrites
Maybe they feel some obligation
To offer sympathies in times of trial
But they rarely feel the need to offer encouragement
In times of contentment
To be a positive force
Rather than just a shoulder to cry on

Smile and the world says, hey
You're happy, go do that
Alone
Cry and the world says
Don't be sad, there's so much to live for
I'm here for you –
- at least as long as you're unhappy.

---

I see this happen frequently. My father spends more time visiting his relatives when they're sick and dying than he ever does when they're living full lives. One of my aunts spends more time tending graves than she did with the deceased when they were alive. There are more 'sorry you're sick' comments than on my love meme. People really do only seem to make time for you when you're ill or depressed or dead. What a negative message to put out into the world.
Bernie Siegel in "Love, Medicine, and Miracles" talks about this, the psychology of illness and the way this message is reinforced:



I certainly understand how being sick sometimes forces me to relax and just be. But when I tell people I'm sick, while I truly appreciate the sympathy, I'm often telling them so they know why I'm not around, or not answering comments or emails. It's my sense of obligation to say "I'm sorry I'm behind on things" rather than "I'm sick, therefore love me." I'd actually rather be loved for my accomplishments than my shortcomings.
(This is also why I'm more likely to leave you supportive "yay, great to see you writing again" type comments than to keep commenting on angst-ridden real life posts. An occasional rant/whine can be cathartic, and I can sympathise or empathise and will leave a nice comment, but a regular stream of "woe" posts only seems to generate more negativity for everyone involved.)

Comments

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

Ooooh! Yes, write poetry daily for a week. It's truly rejuvenating! I liked parts of this, the day-to-day of it!

Sorry to hear you feel that you receive more sympathy/empathy than encouragement. There seems to be a human truism there, yes. "Warriors of Light" are rare. But I agree that we can all use more encouragement!

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :)
Everyone needs encouragement :)

[brontefanatic.livejournal.com]

First of all, props to you for committing yourself to writing poetry for a week. That's difficult and challenging.

I really struggled with how to respond to the rest of this post, because it's clear that you are writing from a place of justified frustration and sadness, and maybe just a little anger, too. At least that's what resonated with me. Which is fine. It takes bravery to put your deepest feelings out there for people to read.

I think it's human nature to respond with comments and sympathy when someone is ill, or we know that they are struggling. I believe that's true whether it's with your online friends or the friends you see everyday. I also know that we all crave encouragement and praise for our accomplishments and efforts. You and so many others were always so supportive of me during the time I was writing, and I can't tell you how much that meant to me. So I can understand how frustrating it must be for you to create so much, yet receive little of the feedback and praise you deserve.

I know I'm better at encouragement and positive reinforcement with the people that I interact with on a personal basis every day - not because I care for them more - but because it's easier to be spontaneous and 'in the moment' with them. If I wait, then I often don't get around to saying what I know I should say - the moment passes.

I know how creative your are at so many things, and appreciate how much you share your creativity with your online community. I am not online as much as I used to be, and I feel bad about not commenting more, and feel bad about not being more encouraging, because everybody needs to feel appreciated.

When it comes to reading, there are times when I'm caught up and times, like now, when I am lagging far behind.

I can only say that I will try to do better to give you encouragement. I know that I am so far behind with reading your fic that I feel a little overwhelmed, but I do want to read it. I am not familiar with many of your fandoms, but hope to read your original work and fics in the fandoms I do know.

Please don't get too discouraged, because your work is so good. And sometimes, like now, you just have to put it out there and let people know how you're feeling.

[meridian_rose]

Thanks, though I gave up after four days because no-one seemed to be reading.

The distinct lack of comments/reviews always looks and feels like disinterest. With no 'like' function, I have no only comments to gauge readership and my readership for the past two months has been almost zero.

That said, there is no "moment" for creative endeavours. While it might be odd to say "sorry you didn't get that job" six months after the fact, photos and fic don't vanish. I still get a thrill from a like/kudos/review on an older piece, wherever I've shared it.

There's a few last things I'd like to post, and then maybe there'll be a few *more* last things until I feel happier again, but it's hard to muster up any enthusiasm right now.

[meridian_rose]

The issue with Tumblr is that it's almost impossible to develop meaningful relationships or have conversations. A like/reblog is the same as a kudos/favourite, and that's fine. Comments can be harder to write, but "nice" or "great artwork" counts for same sentiment and is always (on my part at least) appreciated :)

I love meta and discussions and the permanence of a journal - especially compared to the ephemeral nature of Tumblr where it's almost impossible to find something again later, and people are constantly changing their goddamn urls and breaking the rss feeds which I use to be able to follow them! I like looking at the pretties but there are things that blogs do better - including things like being able to post with varying privacy levels.

Yes! There are times I'm unable to create which are often tied in to deeper issues. When I'm writing I'm either in a good place, or it's maybe the only good thing in my life at the time. Either way I'd rather get praise - and concrit - for that than keep whining and have people notice me for that!

Thank you :) I hope to do at least five. I've got day three to post when I've finished proofing it for obvious errors :)