Fic: The Vellesca Series
Jun. 24th, 2013 11:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
meridian_roseIntroduction
These three fics follow on from each other, though they are also meant to stand alone. The second of the three, Elyse, is for the dark bingo mini challenge, hence the splitting up of the narrative, and the moment of recap at the start and very dark last line which I might have dialled back on if it were not for that challenge.
Please be aware that the prompt for that challenge is 'suicide' and while there's on 'on-screen' suicide or major character death, there is past minor character death and discussion of suicide throughout.
If you have issues with Kat's decisions in the first part, I'd urge you to at least read the third part, Choices, which gives some background to her personal circumstances and gives another point of view to contrast with Tark, Honor, and Cal. Additionally, there's a fourth part to come in which Zayn gives his backstory, which may help illuminate things further. (And, obviously, there will be a piece before this where Kat arrives in Vellesca)
Additionally, there are further author notes at the end of the fic, including examples that might make you rethink your opinions on how our supposedly enlightened society differs – or not- from those depicted within this series.
Special thanks to my beta reader,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dorothydeath for working through this contentious issue with me, and for all her thoughts and nitpicking.
Title: Judgements
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen)
Pairing/Characters: General Series
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1403
Summary: The ancient rite of Tribunal at Vellesca brings personal issues to the fore.
Content Notes: Discussion of suicide
Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ
The holding of Tribunal was an ancient ritual and Vellesca was one of the many places which still practised it. It involved having a select number of prisoners plead their case before the High King – or in this case, High Queen – in a unique opportunity to get their sentences revoked or reduced. Some unlucky ones gained harsher sentences, but many were willing to risk the monarch's wrath, hopeful that a benevolent ruler would want the public goodwill gained by showing mercy and giving people a second chance.
In the stone walled room, Kat sat upon the chair of judgement. Honor stood to her right, Tara to her left. The chief minister of justice, a stern looking man named Tark, placed himself in front of them and to one side, ushering in prisoners along the aisle formed by the rest of the onlookers who filled both sides of the room. The chosen inmates were kept in an anteroom off the main court until it was their turn to throw themselves on Kat's mercy. Cal and Ryan were in the audience while the other tour members had been given leave to explore the town and surrounding area until the evening meal.
One by one the offenders were brought before the seat of judgement, where Tark announced their crime and the punishment they had been given. Kat pardoned them, or upheld their sentences, or otherwise amended their punishments in some way.
"Roden, son of Roren, found guilty of selling false goods," Tark said in a tone that hinted at boredom. "One year's imprisonment."
It seemed a trifle harsh. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kat asked.
"I was providing for me children," Roden said. "I’ve got ten of ‘em."
"Ten?" Kat asked with ill concealed shock. Did the man not know his history? "Is there a shortage of silphion here?"
"No," the man said sullenly. "That's a vile 'erb though. Children are a joy, as all women know."
Kat's eyes flared and she was angry but in control when she rebutted his assertion. "Even more children than you afford to take care of? There is some help given to the destitute of this kingdom, I believe, but the onus is on you to provide by legal means for the dependents you willingly bring into this world." She shook her head. "What kind of goods did you misrepresent?"
Roden stared at her. If he'd been hoping to appeal to Kat's maternal instincts he'd made a huge mistake. "Just 'erbs."
"Herbs? Of what kind?" Kat gestured with one hand. "Poor quality parsley?"
Tark cleared his throat. "He was selling chopped up roots and leaves of the common grasswort and claiming they were salvia, feverfew, yarrow, and silphion."
"Medicinal herbs?" Kat glared at Roden. "Because of your crime people were not getting the treatment they needed? Suffering? Perhaps falling pregnant? Even dying?"
Roden shrugged. "No one died. People should be more careful what they buy. Not my fault if they can't tell the difference between grasswort and feverfew."
"And silphion is vile because children are always a joy," Kat said, echoing his words in a quiet tone that sent a chill down the spine of many of those watching. Honor stirred, but kept silent, waiting to see what would happen.
Roden nodded uncertainly, finally aware that he wasn't likely to be shown mercy, adding with little sincerity, "I promise not to do it again."
"How long has the prisoner served?" Kat looked to Tark who consulted his paperwork.
"Five months."
Kat considered for a long moment. "You endangered people's health and that is a serious crime. The sentence will stand. Think yourself lucky I do not extend it. Or worse."
The next penitent was a tax evader with a tale of woe. He claimed he had been robbed, his cart stolen one night. He'd had to travel around on foot, dragging as many goods for sale as he could on his back. He'd made very little money and couldn't afford to buy a new cart or pay his taxes when they were next due.
"Outrageous," Kat said "Not you," she added to the man, who’d sunk to his knees. "A citizen is a victim of crime and the state punishes him for it?"
"Tax evasion is a serious crime," Tark began.
"More serious than the assault of an innkeeper, or the selling of false herbs that I've seen this morning? Why is his sentence so much harsher for a crime against the state? This man shall be freed at once." She turned to Honor. "Give him coin enough to buy a new cart."
Honor nodded, face carefully neutral.
"Was the thief caught?" Kat asked Tark.
"No, Majesty."
"Then you need to spend more time catching thieves and less punishing the unfortunate." Kat smiled at the carter. "You are free to go. Speak to my vice-regent when we are finished for the day and he will ensure you are able to get back on your feet, so to speak. And be sure to pay your taxes in future."
"Yes, Your Majesty, thank you, Your Majesty," the trader gushed.
A female robber next received a shorter sentence in exchange for making a full apology to her victim and agreeing to take up an apprenticeship in a decent trade. Two of those convicted of assault received neither wrath nor mercy and went back to serve their time, while Kat commuted the sentence of a third by three months, given the circumstances and his genuine regret.
The next penitent was a handsome man with copper coloured skin and jet black hair. Surely not another brawler, Kat thought, though she knew she shouldn't judge by appearance. Tark cleared his throat.
"Zayn, son of Hassan," Tark announced. "Son of Hassan, found guilty of the crime of attempted suicide. Two years."
Kat stared at him, appalled. "You imprison people for trying to kill themselves?"
Tark, who’d been watching Kat’s apparently arbitrary judgments with growing unease, nodded "Yes, Majesty. If it is a crime to kill a person, then it must apply also to oneself."
"Can one steal from oneself?" Kat asked. "Can you imprison someone for taking coin from their own purse and putting it in their own pocket?"
Tark glowered. "It is not the same at all. All violence must be punished. An attempted suicide must pay the same price as if he or she had tried to murder a stranger."
"How in all the Holy Mountain do you think that incarcerating someone can give them back the will to live?" Kat demanded, unconsciously getting to her feet in her growing rage.
"Life is a gift of the gods," Tark argued. "We preserve it at all costs. A person's will is not our concern. If someone has lost their passion in life they had best pray to regain it, perhaps devote themselves to helping the poor."
"Even if they’re sick?" Kat shook her head. "This is cruelty indeed, to inflict further pain on someone in so much agony they only see death as the way out."
"Cruelty? No! Common sense," Tark bellowed, possibly forgetting who he was talking to. "Suicide is a selfish act, one that harms all those left behind, one which damages the community with an act of violence. The family of the victim thanks us for saving their loved one! You do not know the shame of being a suicide victim's relative. If you had lost someone to such a selfish act you would feel differently!"
"Oh-oh," Cal muttered in Ryan’s ear. Ryan swallowed, gearing himself up for action, suddenly afraid Kat might let loose the curse.
There was a moment of charged silence.
"I know what it is," Honor said his voice clear and tone neutral. All eyes were on him as he said, "My mother delivered herself into the hands of the Lady many years ago. There is no shame, in our faith, to end one’s life when the pain – of the body, or the mind, or the spirit – is too much to bear. Our Lady is benevolent. She would never punish or shame anyone for this act."
Tark’s lip curled. With effort, he composed himself into a less confrontational face and tone. "But not all share your faith."
"And not all share yours nor your sense of shame," Kat retorted. "This man is to be freed at once." She gestured with both hands at the court officials, shoo. "You are dismissed. We will take recess."
Title: Elyse
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen)
Pairing/Characters: General Series
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1817
Prompt:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dark_bingo mini round prompt 'suicide'
Summary: Cal relates the tragic story of Honor's mother.
Content Notes: Discussion of suicide. Past minor character death.
Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ
Cal watched as Kat took Honor’s hand and they left by the rear entrance of the courtroom, shadowed by Tara. The guards unshackled the prisoner and Tark resentfully signed the release. Zayn called grateful thanks after Kat, surprised and relieved that she'd granted him his freedom. Cal stood, and he and Ryan moved with the throng of people as they all headed out into the sunshine, blinking in the daylight. Kat hadn't specified how long recess would be, and it would be better spent outdoors.
"I didn't know that about Honor," Ryan said, broaching the subject carefully.
"Well it's not something you tell everyone is it?" Cal mused. "Pleased to meet you, I'm the Duke of Valstone, did I mention my mother killed herself?" He pointed out a food stall laden with jugs of lemonade and bowls of dried fruit, and they headed towards it. Cal purchased two earthen mugs of cool lemonade and passed one to Ryan. They found seats on a nearby stone wall under the shade of a willow tree, Cal fidgeting with his cloak for a while until he was comfortable.
Ryan sipped at the drink gratefully. "So what happened with Honor's mother?"
Cal sighed. There were the facts, the things many people knew or thought they knew. Then there were the more personal aspects that fewer people were privy to, and, beyond that, a few things that only those closest to Honor knew or suspected. He couldn’t avoid the question entirely, not now it had been so publicly raised, and Honor had declared he felt no shame over it. Guilt, maybe, but not shame. So he considered where best to start.
"We were just kids," Cal began. "So at first we didn't understand. And they lived in the Citadel rather than outside the walls. Not really one of us. But Honor's father, Markel, was a high ranking soldier, bodyguard to the princess, and she was often visiting her grandmother who was – is- one of us. Anyway, Markel would sometimes bring Honor with him so he could play with us. I think he really wanted Honor to have more friends."
Of course Honor had always been more serious than his peers, even then. An old soul, Cal's mother said sometimes. It had taken time to gain his trust and encourage him to join in their games.
"We understood death," Cal said. "But we knew this was different. The adults talked about it in hushed tones. Not like when Brant drowned in a flash flood one winter, or when Leo's father died from a fever. My mother told me that sometimes people are so sad that they don't want to live anymore. I remember thinking about all the romantic stories – Lord Willard nearly dying for his unrequited love of the spirit woman Adaine, Gia dying of a broken heart after her beloved's death in battle. I thought that's what she meant, that Honor's mother just died suddenly."
Cal took a long swallow of lemonade. A young couple walked past, holding hands, smiling and laughing.
"Her name was Elyse," Cal went on abruptly. "He uses her name for legal documents; Honor Elyson. Thing is, Honor wasn't….well he's only here because his brother died. Henrie. Elyse was very young when she married and Henrie arrived soon after. I gather they waited a few years and then began trying for another child but to no avail. It looked like Henrie would be an only child." He gave a wry smile. "Not that that's so bad a thing to be. My mother always said I'm too needy to have got on with a sibling."
Besides, there was Kat and Honor, and they were family. Cal shook his head. This was making him more uncomfortable than he'd expected.
"Let's see. Henrie was fourteen when Elyse finally got pregnant again. A daughter, this time, Holly. She's a priestess – you know that part, don't you?"
Ryan nodded. He glanced over at the courthouse, seeing a few people going back in but Cal assured him there would be a horn or a bell to signal the end of recess. Recess would be over when Kat retook her seat and for all Cal knew she was comforting Honor and it might take a while. Or Honor might be arguing with her over some of the morning's rulings, though in Cal's opinion Kat had been rather restrained, all things considered.
"Henrie was determined to become a soldier, like his father. As soon as he was sixteen he took the oath and began his training. Holly wasn't quite two when Henrie went on his first mission. He was barely qualified and it was just a perimeter check, a couple of old hands taking the new recruits out to see the far edges of the kingdom and practicing some drills on different terrain. One night there was an unprovoked and completely unanticipated attack on their encampment. Several of the recruits were killed, including Henrie."
Ryan was listening intently and leaned in as if to hear better.
"Elyse was devastated," Cal went on. "Anyone would be, but I mean utterly overwhelmed. She was sick for a while, wouldn't eat, barely drank beyond a sip of water now and again. If it hadn't been for Holly, she might have given up there and then. After a couple of months she took Holly and went to stay at one of the temples with her sister, Honoria. There was talk of her taking holy orders. But she came back one day, and Markel was relieved to have his wife and daughter home. Elyse said she'd prayed to the Lady for another child – which seemed unlikely given how long it had taken to conceive Holly. Yet she got pregnant almost immediately."
Ryan chewed at his lip thoughtfully. "Another son."
"Exactly. She named him after her priestess sister, and it was her desire that he would join the clergy. Something much safer than being a soldier like his father and brother. Holly was happy to follow in Honoria's footsteps. Honor…"
Maybe if his mother had lived, it might have been different. No, that wasn't true. By the time he was old enough to enter the priesthood Honor was already too much in love with Kat to even consider leaving her side to attend training at the temple near the Holy Mountain. He was unquestionably devout but it was obvious that he was too committed to his queen to devote himself solely to the Lady. Yet he could have reasoned with his mother. Diplomacy was the best Elyse could have hoped for, and even this had its dangers. Still, from commoner to noble to vice-regent; surely she would have been proud of her son.
Cal had grown up an only child, without a father but with a mother who loved him no matter how exasperating he became. All his blood kin were far away in Rhaeadrau so there was no chance of Cal being compared unfavourably or otherwise to any cousins. He'd never had anything to live up to. In fact sometimes his mother told him he didn't appreciate how well his life had turned out, and that was before Kat had made him a baronet.
Perhaps if he'd had so much to live up, as Honor did, Cal would have been more serious, too.
"Honor didn't get a chance to tell her that he had other plans," Cal said, still trying to decide on the important facts and how best to explain them. "He was eight when she killed herself. It was years before I realised that it wasn't a clean, romantic, death. She slit her wrists and bled to death, lying on her bed clutching Henrie's service medal."
Ryan blinked. "My gods."
Cal nodded and tipped his mug upside down to make sure it was empty. "He wasn't lying when he said there's no shame in it. But it isn't an easy thing to live with."
"So you think they're right?" Ryan gestured to indicate Vellesca as a whole. "To lock up suicides?"
Cal shook his head vehemently. "No. They're a bunch of sick bastards to imprison the desperate like that. I'm surprised Kat has kept her temper, especially after that caccapaill who was giving women fake silphion. If she thought anyone had gotten pregnant because of that she might have ordered him whipped or even executed. On the other hand she was bound to release Zayn and if these people knew anything about her, they'd have known that. I'm just saying it's hard because you can always think that you might have done something to save a suicide. Or you worry that maybe you did or said something to push them over the edge. I suppose Honor's family has their faith and it helps, but still…"
A bell rang and an official called out, "Tribunal resumes in five minutes. Five minutes!"
Cal stood and Ryan followed suit. They placed their empty mugs back on the stall.
"But it wasn't Honor's fault," Ryan said as they moved towards the courthouse once more. "I suppose it was that Elyse never got over losing Henrie."
"That's what everyone assumes." Cal paused by a flowerbed and ran his fingers over a long fern. "And Honor was supposed to be Henrie's replacement, her second chance, and he failed."
"Cal –"
"That’s not what I think," Cal assured him. "No one should come into this world with a weight on their shoulders. But it’s not what I believe that counts."
Ryan fell silent. They made their way back inside and retook their seats.
Cal hoped he hadn't said too much. It wasn't his place to talk about the occasions when circumstances conspired to expose Honor's vulnerabilities. When he wanted or needed to talk about it. The times when he and Cal were alone and there was just enough wine for Honor to fully let down his guard.
"I couldn't bear it if anything happened to Kat," he'd say, something Cal could empathise with.
"Royals don't die easy," Cal jested then. "Commoners drop like flies around them, but they keep on going. She'll outlive us all." Which gained him a wry smile, but did not put a stop to Honor's troubled thoughts.
"I won't let her down. If I've a purpose in life, then I have to believe that it's to protect Kat. To ensure a female monarch gets her birthright and respect. It's important. It's...my sacred duty." It was rare Honor ever spoke so specifically about his beliefs and how they affected his decisions. "I will do better by her."
"Better?"
A curt nod, his eyes staring down not at the table but back into the past. "Than I did for my mother."
There was nothing for Cal to do then but slip a consoling arm around Honor's shoulders and offer soothing nonsense that would do nothing to temper the unhealing wound that marked his soul.
Title: Choices
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen)
Pairing/Characters: General Series
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1212
Summary: Kat and Honor discuss the events of the present, the past, and how Kat might improve Zayn's future
Content Notes: Discussion of suicide
Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ
Kat didn't let go of Honor's hand, leading him down the corridor to the office she'd been given for the duration of the Tribunal. At the door, she nodded to Tara, who'd dutifully trailed behind them. "Wait here." Tara nodded and took up position, guarding the door.
Kat led Honor inside and closed the door, moving to the centre of the well-lit room before she finally released him. She reached up and stroked his cheek. "Are you all right?"
He nodded. "It was a long time ago."
Not so long it didn't still pain him, Kat knew, but enough that the wound wasn't raw enough to bleed at the very mention of his mother's death. She shook her head, angry at Tark and his cruel laws which had necessitated Honor's confession, and which had punished Zayn.
"They're just doing what they think is right," Honor said. "No matter how misguided we think they are. They save lives."
Kat paced the room, her boots sounding as she encountered the flagstones, muffled again as she moved back onto the finely woven rug that adorned much of the floor space. "How can you defend them? If I hadn't been here that poor man would still be in jail."
She'd been melancholy. She probably would be so again. She could be fiercely passionate and determined, but Kat could also feel exhausted, spent, wretched. That someone could take advantage of her moments of weakness and lock her away terrified her. If she was honest, sometimes the thought that she had that choice, that she could give in, was what kept her going.
Kat valued her autonomy. It was her life, her body. She would not bear a child. She would have sex with the consent of those she chose. She would choose to live, to fight, or to die, to surrender.
"I'm defending their motives, not their actions," Honor argued. "Of course I don't. If someone is determined to end their life, they'll usually find a way. Imprisoning them is harsh and merely makes it more difficult for them to succeed while making life even less attractive, I'd imagine." Honor began to pace too and Kat stopped to keep her eyes on him.
"Look, Kat. I've thought about what my father could have done to save my mother, if he suspected her intentions. There are institutions, after all. I used to think at least she'd still be alive if he'd had her committed to one. Then," he paused, swallowed. "It was just before your father made me Duke of Valstone. I went on a diplomatic errand to Findoherty."
Kat had heard of it, and knew it paid tribute, but Findoherty hadn't been a scheduled stop on the Tour. A small town, big on cattle farming, she seemed to recall.
Honor went on, "They put their touched, the mad and the suicidal and the deranged, in an institution. The mayor was very proud of it and gave me a tour. That's when I realised that institution was another word for prison. They locked people away for good. Once incarcerated, their inmates could never be released. Once a danger, always a danger to themselves or others. And I thought about my mother, locked in a tiny cell, barely even seeing daylight, fed on bread and water and the occasional piece of fruit – nothing too expensive, nothing too stimulating, I was told – and I thought it better she were dead. To wish her alive but imprisoned. What sort of son would I be? What sort of man?"
Kat moved to put one hand on his shoulder. She'd lost her mother too, for however much she liked to imagine that she was alive somewhere across the vast oceans, Kat knew it was highly unlikely. It was a shared pain, though Honor felt it more keenly, for a variety of reasons.
Honor placed one hand over hers, accepting her comfort. He forced a smile. "You kept your temper, despite it all. I'm proud."
She smiled back. Honor removed his hand and she stepped back.
"Still, Kat. You did a fine thing with the trader who needs a new cart, but you might have been more frugal. We could have arranged a loan which he could have paid back, and only then started paying his taxes again."
She shrugged and toyed with a letter opener she found on the desk. "I was feeling generous."
Honor was silent long enough for her to give him her full attention. She frowned. "You disapprove so much?"
"No. It's just that you acted decisively for the trader, giving him support rather than just freeing him. The same with some of the other prisoners. You gave them ways to mend their lives. But you gave Zayn nothing."
She considered this a moment, twisting the letter opener until it caught at her skin. She sucked at her thumb, thankful she hadn't drawn blood, and dropped the opener back onto the desk, ignoring Honor's eye roll.
"What do you think I should have done?" she asked. Her melancholy usually lifted like dark clouds melting in the sunshine and she'd assumed it was the same for Zayn and that his impulse to end his life was long since gone. What did he need from her now? Besides, she couldn't give him friendships like those that gave her support during her bleakest periods.
He spread his hands. "Something. Queried why he tried to take his own life. Was it debt? Because you could pay it off. Was it loss of a loved one? We cannot fix that, but perhaps there are those who could offer some comfort. Was it something physical, that we could recommend a healer for? Maybe there isn't anything to be done, but we ought to have made an effort to find out."
We, Kat noted. He took certain things personally. Still, he was right. She probably should have found out if Zayn was still so wretched of mind as to want to kill himself, and if there was anything she could do to help. She hadn't bothered, partly because she was too busy being angry with Tark and concerned about Honor, and partly because she didn't want to pry – she knew what it was like to have her personal life and choices debated in a public space and she despised the lack of privacy. She strode over to the door and opened it. "Tara, go and find Zayn, the last penitent we heard from. Tell him the High Queen respectfully requests an audience with him this evening at The Talisman Inn. Then come and retake your position at my side."
"Yes, Your Majesty." Tara headed off on this errand, her braid swinging behind her.
"Satisfied?" Kat asked Honor.
He nodded. "Thank you."
"And if he does not want our help? Or worse, if he still wishes to die?"
Honor closed his eyes a moment. "Then it is his choice, and I will respect it." He opened his eyes and met her gaze. "I appreciate your efforts."
"I am not without compassion for my people," Kat said. Regardless of what some of her detractors thought. Sometimes she didn't necessarily see all points of view or consider all potential options, but that was one of the things Honor was for.
Author Notes
This is a controversial subject. Yet even in the UK, which prides itself on a free healthcare service and overall civilised society, people expressing suicidal thoughts are imprisoned, are subjected to disturbing trends in coercive practices by psychiatric services, held in facilities where they are at risk of sexual assault, and treated by medical professionals so badly that users of mental health services have expressed that "‘It was an awful experience I would rather die than go back there.’ source
Even the Samaritans, a non-religious charity that provides "confidential emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts" used to warn they'd call the emergency services for a caller they believed to be in danger of harming themselves. Their updated page Confidentialty has changed this to only break confidentiality and notify anyone else: with your permission/a court order/if you threaten or disrupt the service or use the service to warn of a terrorist attack. This is a huge step because previously only one UK charity (Mind) promised to never notify the emergency services unless there was a danger to others. When you're feeling desperate, the only thing worse then the situation you're in is the thought of being imprisoned in a psychiatric facility and the treatment, abuse, and stigma that will entail, and it's no use expecting someone will reach out to, let alone be honest with, you if you're going to bring that worst case scenario down upon them when they are.
I've tried to show varying religious experiences within the fics. While many religions in our world outright condemn suicides in this life and their idea of hereafter, Paganism has no single opinion on suicide. That said, this page gives a variety of views – I identify most closely with #9. I don't believe the "mentally ill" label fits everyone who ever feels suicidal – that's the kind of thinking which permanently stigmatises people (and it's hard enough to get a job, adopt rather than birth a child, or be taken seriously in court, without being labelled as mentally unstable) and allows for "sectioning" for "your own good". It also does not reflect other culture's thoughts around suicide such as that sometimes suicide is an honourable path or an acceptable way to end an unbearable life (euthanasia).
While I've not used it http://www.crisischat.org/chat is an online confidential service in the United States and its territories. (Unfortunately the Samaritans offers an email but not currently an instant message service alongside its phone, letter and branch visit services.) There's a page of links where you might find a helpline/chatroom in your vicinity.
I am rather thinking that Kat will later come across a better, more compassionate, way of helping those in distress – the Tour is partly about discovering the good and the bad outside of the life she's used to, and how she can learn from these things – and this could be disseminated across the wider Commonwealth, putting an end to the kneejerk reaction of incarceration. The subject will probably come up in other fics, too. One of the privileges of original fic is being able to address subjects like suicide and bodily autonomy, and highlighting the flaws and hypocrisy of our so-called enlightened society.
These three fics follow on from each other, though they are also meant to stand alone. The second of the three, Elyse, is for the dark bingo mini challenge, hence the splitting up of the narrative, and the moment of recap at the start and very dark last line which I might have dialled back on if it were not for that challenge.
Please be aware that the prompt for that challenge is 'suicide' and while there's on 'on-screen' suicide or major character death, there is past minor character death and discussion of suicide throughout.
If you have issues with Kat's decisions in the first part, I'd urge you to at least read the third part, Choices, which gives some background to her personal circumstances and gives another point of view to contrast with Tark, Honor, and Cal. Additionally, there's a fourth part to come in which Zayn gives his backstory, which may help illuminate things further. (And, obviously, there will be a piece before this where Kat arrives in Vellesca)
Additionally, there are further author notes at the end of the fic, including examples that might make you rethink your opinions on how our supposedly enlightened society differs – or not- from those depicted within this series.
Special thanks to my beta reader,
dorothydeath for working through this contentious issue with me, and for all her thoughts and nitpicking.Title: Judgements
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen)
Pairing/Characters: General Series
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1403
Summary: The ancient rite of Tribunal at Vellesca brings personal issues to the fore.
Content Notes: Discussion of suicide
Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ
The holding of Tribunal was an ancient ritual and Vellesca was one of the many places which still practised it. It involved having a select number of prisoners plead their case before the High King – or in this case, High Queen – in a unique opportunity to get their sentences revoked or reduced. Some unlucky ones gained harsher sentences, but many were willing to risk the monarch's wrath, hopeful that a benevolent ruler would want the public goodwill gained by showing mercy and giving people a second chance.
In the stone walled room, Kat sat upon the chair of judgement. Honor stood to her right, Tara to her left. The chief minister of justice, a stern looking man named Tark, placed himself in front of them and to one side, ushering in prisoners along the aisle formed by the rest of the onlookers who filled both sides of the room. The chosen inmates were kept in an anteroom off the main court until it was their turn to throw themselves on Kat's mercy. Cal and Ryan were in the audience while the other tour members had been given leave to explore the town and surrounding area until the evening meal.
One by one the offenders were brought before the seat of judgement, where Tark announced their crime and the punishment they had been given. Kat pardoned them, or upheld their sentences, or otherwise amended their punishments in some way.
"Roden, son of Roren, found guilty of selling false goods," Tark said in a tone that hinted at boredom. "One year's imprisonment."
It seemed a trifle harsh. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kat asked.
"I was providing for me children," Roden said. "I’ve got ten of ‘em."
"Ten?" Kat asked with ill concealed shock. Did the man not know his history? "Is there a shortage of silphion here?"
"No," the man said sullenly. "That's a vile 'erb though. Children are a joy, as all women know."
Kat's eyes flared and she was angry but in control when she rebutted his assertion. "Even more children than you afford to take care of? There is some help given to the destitute of this kingdom, I believe, but the onus is on you to provide by legal means for the dependents you willingly bring into this world." She shook her head. "What kind of goods did you misrepresent?"
Roden stared at her. If he'd been hoping to appeal to Kat's maternal instincts he'd made a huge mistake. "Just 'erbs."
"Herbs? Of what kind?" Kat gestured with one hand. "Poor quality parsley?"
Tark cleared his throat. "He was selling chopped up roots and leaves of the common grasswort and claiming they were salvia, feverfew, yarrow, and silphion."
"Medicinal herbs?" Kat glared at Roden. "Because of your crime people were not getting the treatment they needed? Suffering? Perhaps falling pregnant? Even dying?"
Roden shrugged. "No one died. People should be more careful what they buy. Not my fault if they can't tell the difference between grasswort and feverfew."
"And silphion is vile because children are always a joy," Kat said, echoing his words in a quiet tone that sent a chill down the spine of many of those watching. Honor stirred, but kept silent, waiting to see what would happen.
Roden nodded uncertainly, finally aware that he wasn't likely to be shown mercy, adding with little sincerity, "I promise not to do it again."
"How long has the prisoner served?" Kat looked to Tark who consulted his paperwork.
"Five months."
Kat considered for a long moment. "You endangered people's health and that is a serious crime. The sentence will stand. Think yourself lucky I do not extend it. Or worse."
The next penitent was a tax evader with a tale of woe. He claimed he had been robbed, his cart stolen one night. He'd had to travel around on foot, dragging as many goods for sale as he could on his back. He'd made very little money and couldn't afford to buy a new cart or pay his taxes when they were next due.
"Outrageous," Kat said "Not you," she added to the man, who’d sunk to his knees. "A citizen is a victim of crime and the state punishes him for it?"
"Tax evasion is a serious crime," Tark began.
"More serious than the assault of an innkeeper, or the selling of false herbs that I've seen this morning? Why is his sentence so much harsher for a crime against the state? This man shall be freed at once." She turned to Honor. "Give him coin enough to buy a new cart."
Honor nodded, face carefully neutral.
"Was the thief caught?" Kat asked Tark.
"No, Majesty."
"Then you need to spend more time catching thieves and less punishing the unfortunate." Kat smiled at the carter. "You are free to go. Speak to my vice-regent when we are finished for the day and he will ensure you are able to get back on your feet, so to speak. And be sure to pay your taxes in future."
"Yes, Your Majesty, thank you, Your Majesty," the trader gushed.
A female robber next received a shorter sentence in exchange for making a full apology to her victim and agreeing to take up an apprenticeship in a decent trade. Two of those convicted of assault received neither wrath nor mercy and went back to serve their time, while Kat commuted the sentence of a third by three months, given the circumstances and his genuine regret.
The next penitent was a handsome man with copper coloured skin and jet black hair. Surely not another brawler, Kat thought, though she knew she shouldn't judge by appearance. Tark cleared his throat.
"Zayn, son of Hassan," Tark announced. "Son of Hassan, found guilty of the crime of attempted suicide. Two years."
Kat stared at him, appalled. "You imprison people for trying to kill themselves?"
Tark, who’d been watching Kat’s apparently arbitrary judgments with growing unease, nodded "Yes, Majesty. If it is a crime to kill a person, then it must apply also to oneself."
"Can one steal from oneself?" Kat asked. "Can you imprison someone for taking coin from their own purse and putting it in their own pocket?"
Tark glowered. "It is not the same at all. All violence must be punished. An attempted suicide must pay the same price as if he or she had tried to murder a stranger."
"How in all the Holy Mountain do you think that incarcerating someone can give them back the will to live?" Kat demanded, unconsciously getting to her feet in her growing rage.
"Life is a gift of the gods," Tark argued. "We preserve it at all costs. A person's will is not our concern. If someone has lost their passion in life they had best pray to regain it, perhaps devote themselves to helping the poor."
"Even if they’re sick?" Kat shook her head. "This is cruelty indeed, to inflict further pain on someone in so much agony they only see death as the way out."
"Cruelty? No! Common sense," Tark bellowed, possibly forgetting who he was talking to. "Suicide is a selfish act, one that harms all those left behind, one which damages the community with an act of violence. The family of the victim thanks us for saving their loved one! You do not know the shame of being a suicide victim's relative. If you had lost someone to such a selfish act you would feel differently!"
"Oh-oh," Cal muttered in Ryan’s ear. Ryan swallowed, gearing himself up for action, suddenly afraid Kat might let loose the curse.
There was a moment of charged silence.
"I know what it is," Honor said his voice clear and tone neutral. All eyes were on him as he said, "My mother delivered herself into the hands of the Lady many years ago. There is no shame, in our faith, to end one’s life when the pain – of the body, or the mind, or the spirit – is too much to bear. Our Lady is benevolent. She would never punish or shame anyone for this act."
Tark’s lip curled. With effort, he composed himself into a less confrontational face and tone. "But not all share your faith."
"And not all share yours nor your sense of shame," Kat retorted. "This man is to be freed at once." She gestured with both hands at the court officials, shoo. "You are dismissed. We will take recess."
Title: Elyse
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen)
Pairing/Characters: General Series
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1817
Prompt:
dark_bingo mini round prompt 'suicide'Summary: Cal relates the tragic story of Honor's mother.
Content Notes: Discussion of suicide. Past minor character death.
Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ
Cal watched as Kat took Honor’s hand and they left by the rear entrance of the courtroom, shadowed by Tara. The guards unshackled the prisoner and Tark resentfully signed the release. Zayn called grateful thanks after Kat, surprised and relieved that she'd granted him his freedom. Cal stood, and he and Ryan moved with the throng of people as they all headed out into the sunshine, blinking in the daylight. Kat hadn't specified how long recess would be, and it would be better spent outdoors.
"I didn't know that about Honor," Ryan said, broaching the subject carefully.
"Well it's not something you tell everyone is it?" Cal mused. "Pleased to meet you, I'm the Duke of Valstone, did I mention my mother killed herself?" He pointed out a food stall laden with jugs of lemonade and bowls of dried fruit, and they headed towards it. Cal purchased two earthen mugs of cool lemonade and passed one to Ryan. They found seats on a nearby stone wall under the shade of a willow tree, Cal fidgeting with his cloak for a while until he was comfortable.
Ryan sipped at the drink gratefully. "So what happened with Honor's mother?"
Cal sighed. There were the facts, the things many people knew or thought they knew. Then there were the more personal aspects that fewer people were privy to, and, beyond that, a few things that only those closest to Honor knew or suspected. He couldn’t avoid the question entirely, not now it had been so publicly raised, and Honor had declared he felt no shame over it. Guilt, maybe, but not shame. So he considered where best to start.
"We were just kids," Cal began. "So at first we didn't understand. And they lived in the Citadel rather than outside the walls. Not really one of us. But Honor's father, Markel, was a high ranking soldier, bodyguard to the princess, and she was often visiting her grandmother who was – is- one of us. Anyway, Markel would sometimes bring Honor with him so he could play with us. I think he really wanted Honor to have more friends."
Of course Honor had always been more serious than his peers, even then. An old soul, Cal's mother said sometimes. It had taken time to gain his trust and encourage him to join in their games.
"We understood death," Cal said. "But we knew this was different. The adults talked about it in hushed tones. Not like when Brant drowned in a flash flood one winter, or when Leo's father died from a fever. My mother told me that sometimes people are so sad that they don't want to live anymore. I remember thinking about all the romantic stories – Lord Willard nearly dying for his unrequited love of the spirit woman Adaine, Gia dying of a broken heart after her beloved's death in battle. I thought that's what she meant, that Honor's mother just died suddenly."
Cal took a long swallow of lemonade. A young couple walked past, holding hands, smiling and laughing.
"Her name was Elyse," Cal went on abruptly. "He uses her name for legal documents; Honor Elyson. Thing is, Honor wasn't….well he's only here because his brother died. Henrie. Elyse was very young when she married and Henrie arrived soon after. I gather they waited a few years and then began trying for another child but to no avail. It looked like Henrie would be an only child." He gave a wry smile. "Not that that's so bad a thing to be. My mother always said I'm too needy to have got on with a sibling."
Besides, there was Kat and Honor, and they were family. Cal shook his head. This was making him more uncomfortable than he'd expected.
"Let's see. Henrie was fourteen when Elyse finally got pregnant again. A daughter, this time, Holly. She's a priestess – you know that part, don't you?"
Ryan nodded. He glanced over at the courthouse, seeing a few people going back in but Cal assured him there would be a horn or a bell to signal the end of recess. Recess would be over when Kat retook her seat and for all Cal knew she was comforting Honor and it might take a while. Or Honor might be arguing with her over some of the morning's rulings, though in Cal's opinion Kat had been rather restrained, all things considered.
"Henrie was determined to become a soldier, like his father. As soon as he was sixteen he took the oath and began his training. Holly wasn't quite two when Henrie went on his first mission. He was barely qualified and it was just a perimeter check, a couple of old hands taking the new recruits out to see the far edges of the kingdom and practicing some drills on different terrain. One night there was an unprovoked and completely unanticipated attack on their encampment. Several of the recruits were killed, including Henrie."
Ryan was listening intently and leaned in as if to hear better.
"Elyse was devastated," Cal went on. "Anyone would be, but I mean utterly overwhelmed. She was sick for a while, wouldn't eat, barely drank beyond a sip of water now and again. If it hadn't been for Holly, she might have given up there and then. After a couple of months she took Holly and went to stay at one of the temples with her sister, Honoria. There was talk of her taking holy orders. But she came back one day, and Markel was relieved to have his wife and daughter home. Elyse said she'd prayed to the Lady for another child – which seemed unlikely given how long it had taken to conceive Holly. Yet she got pregnant almost immediately."
Ryan chewed at his lip thoughtfully. "Another son."
"Exactly. She named him after her priestess sister, and it was her desire that he would join the clergy. Something much safer than being a soldier like his father and brother. Holly was happy to follow in Honoria's footsteps. Honor…"
Maybe if his mother had lived, it might have been different. No, that wasn't true. By the time he was old enough to enter the priesthood Honor was already too much in love with Kat to even consider leaving her side to attend training at the temple near the Holy Mountain. He was unquestionably devout but it was obvious that he was too committed to his queen to devote himself solely to the Lady. Yet he could have reasoned with his mother. Diplomacy was the best Elyse could have hoped for, and even this had its dangers. Still, from commoner to noble to vice-regent; surely she would have been proud of her son.
Cal had grown up an only child, without a father but with a mother who loved him no matter how exasperating he became. All his blood kin were far away in Rhaeadrau so there was no chance of Cal being compared unfavourably or otherwise to any cousins. He'd never had anything to live up to. In fact sometimes his mother told him he didn't appreciate how well his life had turned out, and that was before Kat had made him a baronet.
Perhaps if he'd had so much to live up, as Honor did, Cal would have been more serious, too.
"Honor didn't get a chance to tell her that he had other plans," Cal said, still trying to decide on the important facts and how best to explain them. "He was eight when she killed herself. It was years before I realised that it wasn't a clean, romantic, death. She slit her wrists and bled to death, lying on her bed clutching Henrie's service medal."
Ryan blinked. "My gods."
Cal nodded and tipped his mug upside down to make sure it was empty. "He wasn't lying when he said there's no shame in it. But it isn't an easy thing to live with."
"So you think they're right?" Ryan gestured to indicate Vellesca as a whole. "To lock up suicides?"
Cal shook his head vehemently. "No. They're a bunch of sick bastards to imprison the desperate like that. I'm surprised Kat has kept her temper, especially after that caccapaill who was giving women fake silphion. If she thought anyone had gotten pregnant because of that she might have ordered him whipped or even executed. On the other hand she was bound to release Zayn and if these people knew anything about her, they'd have known that. I'm just saying it's hard because you can always think that you might have done something to save a suicide. Or you worry that maybe you did or said something to push them over the edge. I suppose Honor's family has their faith and it helps, but still…"
A bell rang and an official called out, "Tribunal resumes in five minutes. Five minutes!"
Cal stood and Ryan followed suit. They placed their empty mugs back on the stall.
"But it wasn't Honor's fault," Ryan said as they moved towards the courthouse once more. "I suppose it was that Elyse never got over losing Henrie."
"That's what everyone assumes." Cal paused by a flowerbed and ran his fingers over a long fern. "And Honor was supposed to be Henrie's replacement, her second chance, and he failed."
"Cal –"
"That’s not what I think," Cal assured him. "No one should come into this world with a weight on their shoulders. But it’s not what I believe that counts."
Ryan fell silent. They made their way back inside and retook their seats.
Cal hoped he hadn't said too much. It wasn't his place to talk about the occasions when circumstances conspired to expose Honor's vulnerabilities. When he wanted or needed to talk about it. The times when he and Cal were alone and there was just enough wine for Honor to fully let down his guard.
"I couldn't bear it if anything happened to Kat," he'd say, something Cal could empathise with.
"Royals don't die easy," Cal jested then. "Commoners drop like flies around them, but they keep on going. She'll outlive us all." Which gained him a wry smile, but did not put a stop to Honor's troubled thoughts.
"I won't let her down. If I've a purpose in life, then I have to believe that it's to protect Kat. To ensure a female monarch gets her birthright and respect. It's important. It's...my sacred duty." It was rare Honor ever spoke so specifically about his beliefs and how they affected his decisions. "I will do better by her."
"Better?"
A curt nod, his eyes staring down not at the table but back into the past. "Than I did for my mother."
There was nothing for Cal to do then but slip a consoling arm around Honor's shoulders and offer soothing nonsense that would do nothing to temper the unhealing wound that marked his soul.
Title: Choices
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen)
Pairing/Characters: General Series
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1212
Summary: Kat and Honor discuss the events of the present, the past, and how Kat might improve Zayn's future
Content Notes: Discussion of suicide
Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ
Kat didn't let go of Honor's hand, leading him down the corridor to the office she'd been given for the duration of the Tribunal. At the door, she nodded to Tara, who'd dutifully trailed behind them. "Wait here." Tara nodded and took up position, guarding the door.
Kat led Honor inside and closed the door, moving to the centre of the well-lit room before she finally released him. She reached up and stroked his cheek. "Are you all right?"
He nodded. "It was a long time ago."
Not so long it didn't still pain him, Kat knew, but enough that the wound wasn't raw enough to bleed at the very mention of his mother's death. She shook her head, angry at Tark and his cruel laws which had necessitated Honor's confession, and which had punished Zayn.
"They're just doing what they think is right," Honor said. "No matter how misguided we think they are. They save lives."
Kat paced the room, her boots sounding as she encountered the flagstones, muffled again as she moved back onto the finely woven rug that adorned much of the floor space. "How can you defend them? If I hadn't been here that poor man would still be in jail."
She'd been melancholy. She probably would be so again. She could be fiercely passionate and determined, but Kat could also feel exhausted, spent, wretched. That someone could take advantage of her moments of weakness and lock her away terrified her. If she was honest, sometimes the thought that she had that choice, that she could give in, was what kept her going.
Kat valued her autonomy. It was her life, her body. She would not bear a child. She would have sex with the consent of those she chose. She would choose to live, to fight, or to die, to surrender.
"I'm defending their motives, not their actions," Honor argued. "Of course I don't. If someone is determined to end their life, they'll usually find a way. Imprisoning them is harsh and merely makes it more difficult for them to succeed while making life even less attractive, I'd imagine." Honor began to pace too and Kat stopped to keep her eyes on him.
"Look, Kat. I've thought about what my father could have done to save my mother, if he suspected her intentions. There are institutions, after all. I used to think at least she'd still be alive if he'd had her committed to one. Then," he paused, swallowed. "It was just before your father made me Duke of Valstone. I went on a diplomatic errand to Findoherty."
Kat had heard of it, and knew it paid tribute, but Findoherty hadn't been a scheduled stop on the Tour. A small town, big on cattle farming, she seemed to recall.
Honor went on, "They put their touched, the mad and the suicidal and the deranged, in an institution. The mayor was very proud of it and gave me a tour. That's when I realised that institution was another word for prison. They locked people away for good. Once incarcerated, their inmates could never be released. Once a danger, always a danger to themselves or others. And I thought about my mother, locked in a tiny cell, barely even seeing daylight, fed on bread and water and the occasional piece of fruit – nothing too expensive, nothing too stimulating, I was told – and I thought it better she were dead. To wish her alive but imprisoned. What sort of son would I be? What sort of man?"
Kat moved to put one hand on his shoulder. She'd lost her mother too, for however much she liked to imagine that she was alive somewhere across the vast oceans, Kat knew it was highly unlikely. It was a shared pain, though Honor felt it more keenly, for a variety of reasons.
Honor placed one hand over hers, accepting her comfort. He forced a smile. "You kept your temper, despite it all. I'm proud."
She smiled back. Honor removed his hand and she stepped back.
"Still, Kat. You did a fine thing with the trader who needs a new cart, but you might have been more frugal. We could have arranged a loan which he could have paid back, and only then started paying his taxes again."
She shrugged and toyed with a letter opener she found on the desk. "I was feeling generous."
Honor was silent long enough for her to give him her full attention. She frowned. "You disapprove so much?"
"No. It's just that you acted decisively for the trader, giving him support rather than just freeing him. The same with some of the other prisoners. You gave them ways to mend their lives. But you gave Zayn nothing."
She considered this a moment, twisting the letter opener until it caught at her skin. She sucked at her thumb, thankful she hadn't drawn blood, and dropped the opener back onto the desk, ignoring Honor's eye roll.
"What do you think I should have done?" she asked. Her melancholy usually lifted like dark clouds melting in the sunshine and she'd assumed it was the same for Zayn and that his impulse to end his life was long since gone. What did he need from her now? Besides, she couldn't give him friendships like those that gave her support during her bleakest periods.
He spread his hands. "Something. Queried why he tried to take his own life. Was it debt? Because you could pay it off. Was it loss of a loved one? We cannot fix that, but perhaps there are those who could offer some comfort. Was it something physical, that we could recommend a healer for? Maybe there isn't anything to be done, but we ought to have made an effort to find out."
We, Kat noted. He took certain things personally. Still, he was right. She probably should have found out if Zayn was still so wretched of mind as to want to kill himself, and if there was anything she could do to help. She hadn't bothered, partly because she was too busy being angry with Tark and concerned about Honor, and partly because she didn't want to pry – she knew what it was like to have her personal life and choices debated in a public space and she despised the lack of privacy. She strode over to the door and opened it. "Tara, go and find Zayn, the last penitent we heard from. Tell him the High Queen respectfully requests an audience with him this evening at The Talisman Inn. Then come and retake your position at my side."
"Yes, Your Majesty." Tara headed off on this errand, her braid swinging behind her.
"Satisfied?" Kat asked Honor.
He nodded. "Thank you."
"And if he does not want our help? Or worse, if he still wishes to die?"
Honor closed his eyes a moment. "Then it is his choice, and I will respect it." He opened his eyes and met her gaze. "I appreciate your efforts."
"I am not without compassion for my people," Kat said. Regardless of what some of her detractors thought. Sometimes she didn't necessarily see all points of view or consider all potential options, but that was one of the things Honor was for.
Author Notes
This is a controversial subject. Yet even in the UK, which prides itself on a free healthcare service and overall civilised society, people expressing suicidal thoughts are imprisoned, are subjected to disturbing trends in coercive practices by psychiatric services, held in facilities where they are at risk of sexual assault, and treated by medical professionals so badly that users of mental health services have expressed that "‘It was an awful experience I would rather die than go back there.’ source
Even the Samaritans, a non-religious charity that provides "confidential emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress, despair or suicidal thoughts" used to warn they'd call the emergency services for a caller they believed to be in danger of harming themselves. Their updated page Confidentialty has changed this to only break confidentiality and notify anyone else: with your permission/a court order/if you threaten or disrupt the service or use the service to warn of a terrorist attack. This is a huge step because previously only one UK charity (Mind) promised to never notify the emergency services unless there was a danger to others. When you're feeling desperate, the only thing worse then the situation you're in is the thought of being imprisoned in a psychiatric facility and the treatment, abuse, and stigma that will entail, and it's no use expecting someone will reach out to, let alone be honest with, you if you're going to bring that worst case scenario down upon them when they are.
I've tried to show varying religious experiences within the fics. While many religions in our world outright condemn suicides in this life and their idea of hereafter, Paganism has no single opinion on suicide. That said, this page gives a variety of views – I identify most closely with #9. I don't believe the "mentally ill" label fits everyone who ever feels suicidal – that's the kind of thinking which permanently stigmatises people (and it's hard enough to get a job, adopt rather than birth a child, or be taken seriously in court, without being labelled as mentally unstable) and allows for "sectioning" for "your own good". It also does not reflect other culture's thoughts around suicide such as that sometimes suicide is an honourable path or an acceptable way to end an unbearable life (euthanasia).
While I've not used it http://www.crisischat.org/chat is an online confidential service in the United States and its territories. (Unfortunately the Samaritans offers an email but not currently an instant message service alongside its phone, letter and branch visit services.) There's a page of links where you might find a helpline/chatroom in your vicinity.
I am rather thinking that Kat will later come across a better, more compassionate, way of helping those in distress – the Tour is partly about discovering the good and the bad outside of the life she's used to, and how she can learn from these things – and this could be disseminated across the wider Commonwealth, putting an end to the kneejerk reaction of incarceration. The subject will probably come up in other fics, too. One of the privileges of original fic is being able to address subjects like suicide and bodily autonomy, and highlighting the flaws and hypocrisy of our so-called enlightened society.
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Date: 2013-06-24 11:13 am (UTC)AWESOME series!!!
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Date: 2013-06-24 11:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-24 03:22 pm (UTC)Tiny error in the section of the tax evader: "He claimed had been robbed" should be 'he claimed to have been robbed' or 'he claimed he had been robbed.'
It was good to get some of Honor's family history in the second one. One's past says so much about one, often. And he has a sister who's a priestess; will we ever meet her?
I like how Honor wants Kat to help Zayn, too. It's hard to know what to do in a case like that, but especially hard since Kat doesn't even know Zayn.
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Date: 2013-06-24 04:09 pm (UTC)We will meet Holly at some point, pre-Tour, as Honor will want to visit her before he disappears off for a year. (Adds to increasing list of scenes I've only written in my head and ought to actually type up!)
Yes. Kat's not sure what she's supposed to do, but if Honor wants her to try then she will. They work well together so long as they're not outright fighting, and are either on the same page or can quickly come to some sort of accord.
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Date: 2013-06-24 04:33 pm (UTC)So sorry I missed that error! O_O
"Can one steal from oneself?"
"Better?" ... "Than I did for my mother."
Sometimes she didn't necessarily see all points of view or consider all potential options, but that was one of the things Honor was for.
My all time favorite lines! :D
*FLAILS HARD*
And the hair porn. :D *FLAAAAILS*
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Date: 2013-06-24 04:54 pm (UTC)Thank you!
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Date: 2013-06-24 08:52 pm (UTC)Yes, more eyes! :D
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Date: 2013-06-24 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-28 01:29 am (UTC)I found your handling of the tribunal and the various "crimes" so interesting, as well as the judgments Kat handed out for each. Some I agreed with, some I wasn't sure about (the robbery and assault decisions I struggled with a little), but the others seemed very reasonable. It was nice to see that Kat is still very young and can make mistakes, but is, often with Honor's advice, open to repairing them.
I was fascinated with Honor's back story concerning his mother's death, and his siblings, and interested that Cal still seemed to be holding back a lot of information. Honor's history explains a lot about how he became the way he is.
I really liked the little touches that illustrated how important Honor is to Kat, and how devoted he is to her.
The entire suicide issue is provocative, and I think you handled it very well. There are so many reasons a person can make that decision. Sometimes it can be averted by an outward change in the person's life circumstances - money, job, friends. Sometimes a person is in such chronic despair that none of those things make a difference. Sometimes, in my opinion, it can be a very reasonable choice, such as when one is facing a terminal illness. It's an issue that invites discussion, and I'm a little conflicted about it.
Suicide is a selfish act in many respects because one's death will profoundly affects everyone around them in ways they often can't anticipate. Yet - when someone is in that place, they can only see the darkness, and want to end the pain. I don't think there's ever a desire to hurt others, a person just can't see any other way.
3 years ago a co-worker of mine committed suicide, leaving behind a 7 year old child, a husband, her twin sister and her parents. She had struggled for years with suicidal thoughts and attempts. Afterward, those closest to her in the office really struggled with both anger at her, grief, and guilt at what they might have done to prevent it.
I'm sorry to go on so long, but the issue is one that's very important to me.
Thanks for posting these amazing and thought-provoking fics.
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Date: 2013-06-28 04:37 pm (UTC)Thanks for your comment on the crimes, that's maybe something I could improve on in a rewrite. The justice system in Vellesca is not nuanced. So there's no real difference between say, a burglary of a dwelling or stealing from a market stall. Likewise, two men who get in a fight over a girl are equally to blame, but neither is guilty in the way that a man threatening Cal over his sexuality is (pre Tour scene, forthcoming!) Even if the Citadel has some notion of 'hate crime', Vellesca does not, so the labels are broad and punishments uniformly harsh or weak.
Yes, very important Honor backstory :D We will, when I get round to writing it, meet Holly.
The whole "selfish" thing bothers me, as does the "cowardly" slur people like to throw around. Isn't it just as selfish to keep someone alive and in pain or a vegetative state because you can't let go? Isn't it selfish to turn your back on your family by marrying and moving to the other side of the world and never seeing them again? Yet that's somehow an acceptable loss.
Fic wise, Kat is labelled as selfish by many for not marrying and breeding an heir; her people want her to do things with her life and body that they think are right, regardless of the fact it would destroy the person she is, to give up on her most basic right of bodily autonomy.
Of course I most strongly identify with Kat, but I did try to give alternate viewpoints from all sides, while stating outright that shaming suicides and their families is utterly cruel and counterproductive. I appreciate it is a contentious issue with multiple causes and social pressures, so I'm glad to hear you think I handled it well.
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Date: 2013-06-28 06:04 pm (UTC)The whole issue of suicide merits lengthy discussion, and perhaps I got more personal than I should have in my comments on your fic. Also, how people react intellectually to such an loss is often very different from their emotional reaction. Someone expressing anger toward a suicide may be using that as a way of repressing grief, guilt and confusion. But again, I digress. Sorry.
I'm glad you are going to be writing more about all the responsibilities and expectations that Kat has to find a way to deal with.
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Date: 2013-06-28 06:19 pm (UTC)It does "get my back up" when other people dismiss something so obviously painful to the person involved as being purely selfish, that what other people feel and think is more important than their feelings, thoughts, and, ultimately, lives. I react badly to the term "selfish" because it's often an accusation thrown at the childfree and the asexuals amongst other groups I belong to, and, I'm sure, other groups of people that I don't. Selfish often means "you're doing something I disapprove of" even those same people would say "you have to put yourself first" about other situations. Again, complicated!
In the follow up - which I've got a rough draft of, that will take a lot of editing yet - Kat and Zayn talk a bit more, and Zayn mentions that Tark has lost someone, so I hope that adds some sympathy to him and gives some reasoning to his behaviour, for he does have guilt and shame - he and Honor just react differently to the same pain.
It's fun to write fluff sometimes, and UST romance, but there are issues I want to look at too. The villains in Kat's world are more often issues rather than people, or people representing issues like sexism and homophobia, so some fics will be more serious than others, and I'm glad you're enjoying that side of this world too :D
*hugs*