Fic and Art: Bad Dreams

[meridian_rose]

Title: Bad Dreams
Fandom: Original
'Verse/Series: Kat (High Queen)
Pairing/Characters: Kat, Honor
Rating: PG-13
Type: Artwork and Fic (889 words)
Prompt: For the trope bingo prompt "sharing a bed"
Summary: The dream is always the same save for one detail; the blood is always there, haunting her.
Content Notes: No standard warnings apply.
Index Page for this series: DW/ LJ


Kat looked down at her hands. Blood clung to her skin, though she'd tried to wipe it off. It had pooled around one of her rings and the undersides of her nails were stained red.

Worse was her dress, the lacing and silk panels blood spattered. Towards her skirts there were splotches of red, while the corset seemed to have mostly been bloodied by her attempts to wipe her hands.

It wasn't hers. But there was a lot of it.

Kat fell to her knees, sobbing.

And woke, gasping for breath.

She sat up and tried to gather her thoughts. She stared down at her hands which were clean, as was her nightgown. Just a dream. That dream. Again.

It was dark, still the middle of the night. She lay back down but there was no way she could go back to sleep. Even after her heart had stopped pounding as if she'd run for miles, her anxiety remained.

Kat slipped out of bed and, not even bothering to put on a robe, headed out into the corridor. The guard at the end of the corridor tipped his head but Kat shook her head at him. Reassured, he followed her but a discreet distance now he didn't believe she was in danger.

The flagstones were cold on her bare feet, but Kat didn't care. She hesitated at the end of the corridor, remembered Cal wasn't in the castle, and crossed the intersection. The guard stopped, correctly guessing she was going to head into the room immediately to her right.

Kat didn't knock, and Honor rarely locked his door. He was a light sleeper and stirred as she entered. He blinked at her. The only light was behind her, one of the lanterns in the corridor casting her into shadow. "Kat?"

"I can't sleep."

Honor groaned. "So if you can't sleep no one gets to?"

At another time, Kat might have made a sarcastic retort. However tonight, her emotions raw, she burst into tears. Honor sat up, wide awake, looking guilty.

"Kat, Kat, come here."

She kicked the door shut behind her, and stumbled in the resulting darkness to the bed. Honor embraced her, pulling her to him and fidgeting with the covers until she was cuddled against him under the blankets.

"Don't cry my pretty one," he begged. "Sssh, it's okay."

"I – I had the dream again," she hiccupped. "All that blood."

Honor squeezed her tightly. "It's okay. It's okay."

"You don't understand," she whimpered.

"No. My dreams are not prophetic." He stroked her hair. "Maybe yours aren't either."

"This one feels like prophecy." There could be no arguing with that.

Kat had been having recurring dreams for five years and they always unnerved her. This particular one was the worst. Always the same, but for the colour of her bloodstained dress. Sometimes her gown looked white, sometimes rose, or lilac. Other times it appeared to be indigo or midnight blue or even a vermillion that the blood nevertheless visibly stained.

If she knew the true colour, she'd never wear it again.

When Kat was calmer they shifted position so that she was lying next to him. He kept hold of her hand and they stared at the dark stone ceiling. Her bed had a canopy, with curtains she never drew, but Honor found such things unnecessary and fussy. The bed linens were every bit as fine as her own, though, and she'd have fought him tooth and nail before she'd have it any other way. Certain luxuries were a perk of his station and he should enjoy them.

After a few minutes of unexpected silence Kat said, "Cal talks to me."

"Of course he does," Honor said dryly, his wry humour returning now Kat wasn't an emotional wreck. "It's what he does best."

A mischievous smile played on Kat's lips. "Maybe second best, but neither of us will ever know for sure."

Honor didn't quite manage to stifle a laugh. "Why didn't you to go his room then?"

"He's helping Elias with something." Cal's talkative nature, which always took her mind off a nightmare, was the reason she had in fact wanted to go to his room. However he was working on a week long sorting and indexing project at the library and was sleeping in the attic there until for the duration. She had a suspicion that Elias had insisted on the arrangement so that Cal didn't wander off on another "errand" or show up late every day if he found this particular job dull. "You’d rather I didn’t come to your room?"

Honor hesitated before he spoke. "Of course I don't mind. It's only that I do need sleep. And some time alone."

"I'm sorry."

He squeezed her hand. "No. I'll always make time for you."

Kat closed her eyes and willed sleep to come, but to no avail. Honor slept first and she listened to him breathing, feeling a little better for being with him rather than alone in her room. She hated that the dreams affected her so – she was an adult, a queen! Yet the fear they invoked left her shaken and if seeking comfort from Cal or Honor was what she needed, so be it. She rolled over and leant her head on Honor's shoulder, and at last, she drifted to sleep.

ARTWORK

Notes:
The characters I created at Azalea's Dress up Dolls. Honor's not quite right but Kat's pretty accurate as I see her :) I adjusted the poses in Photoshop and created the bed with various vector graphics and textures, adding final textures as I would any other graphic.

Comments

[eternal-moonie.livejournal.com]

AWESOME new fic in the Kat verse!!!

[meridian_rose]

Thank you *hugs*

[hrhrionastar.livejournal.com]

Aww, poor Kat. Prophetic dreams would be more than usually worrying.

If she knew the true colour was, she'd never wear it again. I wonder if that's why she can't see the real color. (Also - 'if she what the true color was,' I think.)

Lovely graphic. I always picture Kat with red hair (and you've probably told us) so it's nice to have that fit :) How does Honor not fit your image of him?

[meridian_rose]

Thank you!
knew [what] the true Of course you're right. Would you believe that I wrote the first half of the fic three times for writerverse (reducing in length each time for each part of the challenge) and then re-edited the best sections and wrote the expanded scene (everything past that line) and despite two re-reads for sense, I still missed that?! As a reader I'd have been on that like a hawk on a field mouse but I find it damn near impossible to be purely a reader for my own work. It's why a beta is so important! I'll fix it :D

I wonder if that's why she can't see the real color. Absolutely. If prophecy is too obvious, it's easy to avoid it!

I always picture Kat with red hair (and you've probably told us) I think I've mentioned it and it's important so it will probably come up again!

How does Honor not fit your image of him? The character creators are great but some are more limited than others in terms of what you can change, and what available items there are. The Game of Thrones (which I used) for example allows you to give a character Khal Drogo's distinctive beard and add dragons/direwolves to the scene; The Tudors version gives period appropriate clothing. But there's little to be done about body shape/height, and a rather limited selection of hair styles and facial features. The hair just isn't right and I can't get the facial features to my liking either. But it will do for now :) Way better than my hand drawing or even my tracing reference pic attempts!

[hrhrionastar.livejournal.com]

As a reader I'd have been on that like a hawk on a field mouse but I find it damn near impossible to be purely a reader for my own work. It's why a beta is so important! Agreed! It's so hard reading over one's own work. Sometimes I find minor errors on the seventh or eighth read-through (and others I don't find them at all!)

But there's little to be done about body shape/height, and a rather limited selection of hair styles and facial features. A limitation of this sort of online put-it-together thing. Honestly, though, I don't usually draw my characters because I can never get them to look the way I imagine them. Often I use symbols instead - something to represent them in my mind, what they're like or what they care about or just an object that's associated with them (for Richard it might be the Sword of Truth, say).

[dorothydeath.livejournal.com]

Oh, dreams of blood. Intense. Can't wait to find out what they mean!


"I can't sleep."
Honor groaned. "So if you can't sleep no one gets to?"
LOL :D Love this! :D

She kicked the door shut behind her, and stumbled in the resulting darkness to the bed. Honor embraced her, pulling her to him and fidgeting with the covers until she was cuddled against him under the blankets.
Awwwww))))

Kat had been having recurring dreams for five years and they always unnerved her.
When exactly had it started? How many dreams have come true since then? Have we seen/will we see them? Sorry if I've already asked any of this. O_O

If she knew the true colour, she'd never wear it again.
Yeah, that's a bummer. Tricky dreams. Smart move! :D

A mischievous smile played on Kat's lips. "Maybe second best...
Ooh, yes, I suspect so, too! :D

Honor hesitated before he spoke. "Of course I don't mind. It's only that I do need sleep. And some time alone."
In my head it kind of sounded like "also we both want each other most of the time so you see how this might be difficult, lying in bed together, doing nothing".
Am I reading it wrong? O_O

She hated that the dreams affected her so – she was an adult, a queen! Yet the fear they invoked left her shaken
Is it bad that I want more graphic and prolonged description of the dreams and the horror and everything? O_O For angst.
I'm evil.


Awwww, it's such a nice and sweet story! :D
And I can't wait to see how things turns out with the dream! A horrible tragedy? Will Kat kill someone? The someone who will not return from the Tour, perhaps? Or is it the blood of her people on her hands? She's Queen so her every decision affects many lives and her every mistake would have a very high cost. O_O
I'm dying to know what's gonna happen!! :D

PLEASE WRITE MOAR!!!
*FLAILS HARD*

And the art is simply beautiful! Awesome job, bb!! :D *FLAILS*
BTW that's how I imagined Kat, too! :D

[meridian_rose]

Thanks for the review!

When exactly had it started? How many dreams have come true since then? Have we seen/will we see them?
I'm not sure yet
None
One before the end of the first book :D

Is it bad that I want more graphic and prolonged description of the dreams and the horror and everything? O_O For angst.
It's not bad but it's hard for me to do into too many details; the more Kat can be certain of, the more she can try to avoid the situation. So it has to be a little vague :)

A horrible tragedy? Will Kat kill someone? The someone who will not return from the Tour, perhaps? Or is it the blood of her people on her hands? That last, metaphorical, one hadn't even occurred to me, so that's very interesting! But sure, any of these could be the meaning. I know how it ends (something I know! Will wonders never cease!) but I want to build up to it :D

BTW that's how I imagined Kat, too! :D
Yay! Honor just isn't right but Kat's a good likeness so it's enough for now.

In my head it kind of sounded like "also we both want each other most of the time so you see how this might be difficult, lying in bed together, doing nothing".
Am I reading it wrong? O_O
Okay, this ties in with your earlier thought that Kat and Honor are regularly having sex which is not the case.
That's a valid reading, that he might find it trying to be chaste rather than having sex, but I didn’t actually intend for that. He doesn't want to disappoint her, but Honor is more introverted than Kat or Cal (especially Cal!) and while he can handle being around people, he really values some alone time. And he never gets it. He's reading, and he has to intervene because Cal and Tara are bickering. He's praying and he has to go deal with the stablemaster. He's sleeping and Kat wants to share his bed. So he's mostly frustrated about that.
The idea that Kat/Honor must be sleeping together just because of mutual attraction and bed sharing speaks to how sex is such an intrusive part of our world. How can anyone not have sex under these circumstances? Which is pretty sad.
Kat also shares Cal's bed and he, who sleeps with lots of people, is just as horrifed as Kat is whenever someone suggests they're having sex; like he can't control himself, and is it just because he's a hawk (ie bisexual) and that's just disgusting – no, not you, Kat, them and their dirty minds.

There is a planned scene where MacBride is sleeping and sexually active with Kat and he talks to her about her bed sharing with Cal and Honor, and perhaps that makes things clearer. And time for more talk about the continent not falling into the sea if she did consummate her relationship with Honor. But we don't meet MacBride until about halfway through the Tour. So there may be a need for an earlier scene where adolescent Kat lays down the law about this; she can sleep chastely or otherwise with whoever she wants to, because she's pretty damn sure her aged father wasn't a virgin when he married Kat's mother so late in his life! And if he could "sleep around" than so can she, or is this another Citadel double standard? :D

[dorothydeath.livejournal.com]

Hm... If none of her dreams ever came true then how can she be sure they are prophetic?

the more Kat can be certain of, the more she can try to avoid the situation.
Oh, right. Good point! Hm... maybe you could describe the details but then say that Kat only remembers the blood and the horror when she wakes up?
But then the reader might recognize the signs when the time comes and if you want it to be a surprise it won't work. Hm... tricky. Balance is difficult. O_O

I know how it ends (something I know! Will wonders never cease!) but I want to build up to it :D
OMG OMG OMG I can't wait to see this!!! :D
*FLAILS HARD*


About Kat/Honor and Kat/Cal.

I don't question Kat's right to sleep with whoever she wants in any possible sense of the word. She can do whatever she feels like doing and it's totally okay.

There's a difference though. Kat and Cal do not desire each other sexually and it's very clear in their scenes. So it's easy for them to share a bed comfortably, and not think twice about it.

Kat and Honor, on the other hand, have been attracted to each other for a very long time, if I understand it correctly. And I'm just saying that when you're attracted to someone that much it is ridiculously hard to be with them without being with them. And I don't mean just sex. Any physical contact. It's driving you crazy, not to kiss, not to touch, not to hold close. Especially when it's mutual. It's like there's a magnet that constantly pulls you towards that person. And when you're so close, standing near or sharing a bed or whatever, and you inhale the other person's scent and it's like the most intoxicating drug ever.
Of course you keep yourself in check. People are surely capable of it. And then there are situations when sex is the last thing on your mind. But, when you don't have anything else to distract you, the longer you're in close proximity to a person you desire the more everything else fades away until there's only them and you can't hear or see or think about anything else.

Uhm... I forgot what my point was. *facepalm*

Damn, and I sound like a creep, do I? D:


Anyway, yes, I understand wanting privacy. And I can totally relate! Poor Honor. D:

Also young Kat demanding equality for herself - YES, PLEASE I WANT THAT!! :D
*FLAAAAAILS*

Kat is her own person and anyone who tells her how to live her own life can kindly get lost, preferably in a burning building.


I'm sorry I screwed up again! My thoughts are a mess lately and it seems I lost the ability to words so I don't even know what I'm saying.
I'm sorry!

[meridian_rose]

The dream only deals with the aftermath, so I could add in a few more details which wouldn't overall distract from the Tragic Event in question...

Hmm, okay. It's a constant issue for Kat/Honor - there's actually plenty of kissing and touching and hugging. They're both very physical in their dealings with others, too, especially Cal. More Spanish and less English in that regard :D

I think Honor has sublimated his desire because it would be Wrong and Disrespectful and possibly Blasphemous if we see keeping Kat on the throne as a sacred duty and sleeping with Kat as a way to remove her from the throne (sex as precursor to marriage/pregnancy). And so he's convinced himself it's Not Going To Happen and Cannot Happen. So if Kat later does want to sleep with him, it will "every Christmas happening at once" but also "WTF, No! We Can't!"

Oh yes, Kat's quite clear on that score. U tell me what to do? O RLY? Want to piss me off enough to get the curse going?! :D