Fic: Only Hurt the Ones You Love

[meridian_rose]

Title: Only Hurt the Ones You Love
Fandom: Original
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 484
Prompt: For the writerverse prompts 'Umbrella', 'Zombies', 'Loss', 'We All Survived' and the bonus 'metafiction'
Summary: Three characters complain about the things their author inflicts on them
Warnings: None


"What I wouldn't give for an umbrella," Sullivan grumbled.

"Umbrellas don't exist in this world," Helena said. She held out one hand and gazed up at the sky. "I think the rain has stopped now."

Sullivan shook his head vigorously, sending raindrops flying. They trudged on through the mud.

"An umbrella is a really simple thing," Sullivan said. "I mean, a bunch of leaves on a stick would do it. And don't give me that 'authenticity' excuse. She soon ignores that when it suits her purposes."

She was the only name they ever used for their creator.

Helena ignored him until they reached a village which seemed to spring up out of nowhere. Sullivan made a sarcastic comment about how She needed to add a few more roads or something.

Waving frantically from the doorway of one of the small dwellings was a familiar figure. He dashed over and embraced Helena and then Sullivan.

"You're rejoining us?" Helena asked.

Darcy nodded. "Apparently so. Did you have any adventures without me?"

"Zombies," Sullivan said.

Helena rolled her eyes. "No zombies. No, Sullivan, and no umbrellas. He won't shut up about the rain."

"It didn't rain here," Darcy said.

"That's because this place didn't exist until this chapter," Sullivan grumbled. "She's a terrible mapmaker."

"At least we all survived," Helena said. "I thought we were done for in chapter nine!"

"Well we are the main characters. I think we're safe until the last few chapters," Darcy said. "Although so far I've been betrayed by my dearest friend, nearly killed by an arrow, poisoned, and whipped."

Sullivan snorted. "I've been captured and interrogated by those things that damn well looked like zombies to me; I had my arm slashed open with a knife – you can see the scar, look; and I broke a rib when I fell off my horse in chapter three."

Darcy laughed at the memory, earning himself a glare from Sullivan. He schooled his features into a serious mask. "It's all right for you, Helena," Darcy said, shifting Sullivan's attention back to her. "You don't get the punishment we do."

"I did lose my memory for two chapters after I fell victim to that sleeping spell." Helena folded her arms over her ample bust and gave a smug smile. "I can't help that She likes me more."

Darcy shook his head slowly. "I'm not so sure about that. She enjoys hurting us because She loves us. The hurt/comfort genre is something that She finds exciting."

"Goddamn authors," Sullivan sniffed. "I'll probably catch pneumonia or something now. All because I didn't have an umbrella."

Helena gave him a shove. "Shut up! If I had an umbrella right now I'd beat you with it!"

"Do you think a beating with an umbrella would be hurt/comfort or some sort of kinky or erotic fiction?" Sullivan asked and Helena paused to consider.

"Both," Darcy said authoritatively. "Definitely both."

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Appropriate writer leopard:

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Comments

[eternal-moonie.livejournal.com]

Absolutely LOVED it honey!

*HUGS*

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :D *hugs*

[tatdatcm.livejournal.com]

This made me giggle. It does really well as a stand alone piece (since I'm not familiar with your characters). I had to look up what metafiction was and you captured it very well. I love how the characters only know the author as "She".

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :D I did invent these characters just for this piece - though I had so much fun with them I may use them again. I rather like the idea of them complaining about the things She (I?) does to them :D

[et-tu-lj.livejournal.com]

She's a terrible mapmaker was my favorite line. *g*

The metafiction challenge was fun, and I like your interpretation of it.

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :D (It's true. I'm terrible at maps!) It was such a fun challenge!

[hrhrionastar.livejournal.com]

LOL :D

I love the characters complaining about their clueless author ;) I especially like the bit about it raining on Sullivan and Helena but not Darcy because he's in a town that didn't exist before ;D

[meridian_rose]

This was a lot of fun to write! It's true, I'm a terrible mapmaker :D At some point I'll have to map Kat's world and stop just adding in kingdoms whenever I need a new place for the action to take place!

[turnerwolf.livejournal.com]

An excellent piece and you met the bonus 'metafiction' spectacularly. Very amusing and I loved how the characters talked about their creator. How they talk about how terrible a mapmaker she is and how a couple of the characters seem to suffer her wrath more than another. The graphic was a very nice addition too. Great job.

[meridian_rose]

Thank you very much! I had a lot of fun with this one :D I identify with a lot of writer leopard and fanfic flamgino entries and that one is very true!

[dorothydeath.livejournal.com]

OMG BB I just died! LOLOLOLOLOL!!! :D
Self-aware characters are AWESOME!!! :D And this is absolutely fantastic!! I want a whole novel like this!!!!
*FLAILS HARD*

[meridian_rose]

Thank you :D It was too much fun to write - and I will probably write more to poke fun at my failings as She of the terrible mapping skills :D

[dorothydeath.livejournal.com]

YAY for more, bb!!! :D *FLAAAAAAAILS*

[unwritten-muse.livejournal.com]

This really is a great use of the metafiction bonus for this challenge. I like how the characters relate to each other, but even moreso the different ways they respond to their creator. The growing frustration of one as the other continues to defend the creator is very effective, and comparing how they've suffered by the creator's hands is very funny. Really well done.

[meridian_rose]

Thank you for such a great review :D I admit I had way too much fun with this one!