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meridian_rose) wrote2011-06-17 07:31 pm
meridian_rose) wrote2011-06-17 07:31 pm
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I watch for the brains and the brawn, not the babies
Introduction
For the purposes of this meta, 'babyfic' is, to me, a subset of the 'family' genre and possibly the 'romance' category, which is another culprit for what I want to talk about it. Babyfic occurs when a female character without children [or, somewhat more rarely, has grown-up children] gets pregnant. This is about why I abhor the majority of babyfic; because most of the time it's done badly, more often and more badly than romance - which is often also incredibly badly handled, especially where the female character is concerned.
I'm going to talk about why it irks me so much, how it's badly handled and also when it is done well [both in canon and fic] with multifandom examples, and why I find that it's overall the worst trope for a female character apart from being 'fridged'.
This isn't what I signed up for, or 'where'd my role model go?', aka 'this is another reason for me to prefer watching men'
Fandomwise, the quickest way to get me to jump ship is turn it into 'babyfic'. If I wanted babyfic I'd watch soaps and Private Practice and wouldn't have finally quit Grey's Anatomy. I watch shows with awesome women doing awesome things - or awesome men doing awesome things, or both - and the moment there's a pregnancy it's all about the fetus and how DANGEROUS everything is, and then it's all about the baby. It doesn't matter if you were the Slayer, now you're a Mother and it's the most Important Job in the World and the Only Thing You Are [vomit].
You don't get it so much with women who are already mothers; they'll often be honest about the highs and lows of parenthood. But apparantly every pregnancy is wanted and usually easy when it happens onscreen, and afterwards the children rarely warrant a mention unless it's to show how wonderful their parents are.
The women I most love are those I identify with, role models, or the women I'd want to friends with. And since babies are not in my future, I find it disappointing when a women I'm identifying with gets pregnant - often without any thought to it [birth control doesn't exist or is incredibly unreliable in media]. Thus I often find myself drawn to male characters over females, because they will never [Jack Harkness aside] get pregnant and spend episode after episode waxing on about their fecundity.
Bad babyfic in canon - a few examples
Teyla in Stargate: Atlantis; I'd have rather just Teyla gone missing with the rest of her people in SGA instead of writing in the actress's pregnancy. Featured a ridiculous sentient Gary Stu fetus that could fly spaceships with it's undeveloped mind; also that it was part wraith or whatever meant it was a constant target for attack by everyone in the galaxy and pretty much too dangerous to live. Teyla's entire last seasons became all about the pregnancy and protecting the Gary Stu, and she rarely got to just go out and kick ass to protect the team. Had she punched Sheppard in the nose for telling her wasn't allowed on the team anymore because of the fetus, she'd have kept my full respect. On her homeworld, she'd still have to have fled from and fought the Wraith, pregnant or not, and Sheppard's paternalistic attitude pissed me off.
Almost everyone from Grey's Anatomy - [see below for the exceptions] Particuarly Mark's obnoxious daughter, Mark and his obnoxiousness about he wanted a baby that ruined his relationship with another woman, Owen Hunt for pressuring his wife to 'grow up' and have a baby with him, and everything to do with Calleigh - the Arizona giving up her childfree identity so easily just so she could continue to date Calleigh not only didn't ring true for most actual childfree people, it contributed to the 'you'll change your mind when you meet the right person' myth. I am a member of a few childfree forums here and elsewhere and when one partner wants a child it's almost always a deal breaker. Way to uphold a socially conservative trope.
Bones - I stopped watching after the Zach debacle but I'd have stopped the moment talk came up about giving Brennan a baby. She was childfree, canonically established. But Booth thinks this is selfish; because nothing says selfless like adding to an overpopulated world, or having a child because you think your genes are superior. Booth's genetics arguement doesn't hold water; Brennan is a genius but her brother isn't [ditto for Big Bang Theory's Sheldon compared to his two siblings]; and her genes are only half the equation unless he's suggesting she clone herself to preserve her knowledge and skills. Far less selfish and more appropriate a legacy would be a scholarship fund to help gifted but poor students achieve the education they desired, and would let her name live on at the same time.
I think Legend of the Seeker would have been this way; they chickened out of killing male confessors twice, and Kahlan wandered round all dreamy eyed whenever the subject of babies came up. The second Kahlan got pregnant Richard was overly concerned for her safety. I'd actually not have wanted to see a third season that was all about the baybeez. the retconning that Cara had a child bothered me - it felt like a throwaway plotline that nonetheless changes who she is. Fanfic writers spend more time developing the theme, that maybe she and Rahl were more closely linked than canon suggested/allowed, and that makes more sense. [I also like to imagine that Mord'Sith don't pay much attention to being pregnant, and still go the taverns and swill ale, have sex, and ageil anyone who gets in their way. Any fetus that survives is worthy of being born, any that doesn't was weak]
Good Babyfic in canon - characters and shows that don't make me rage
Cristina Yang in Grey's Anatomy had an ecpotic pregnancy that wasn't planned and was on the verge of terminating anyway; one of the last episodes I watched however her husband was pressuring her to 'grow up' and have a baby - though this wasn't in her life plan - so she may have caved to his demands. Bailey managed to become mother without losing herself, but she was also upfront about how she'd have terminated the pregnancy if she hadn't wanted it, and how it would affect her career. She worried afterwards that she hadn't been keeping as good an eye on her residents, becoming a bit more distracted and compassionate, but she soon found a balance. Bailey is an all round awesome character, and motherhood is a facet of her life and not her entire identity.
Daenyrys in Game of Thrones is similarly awesome and she didn't exactly have much choice about having sex, using birth control, etc. She's even been using her pregnancy to solidify her power base - though I don't know what will happen in the finale.
Raising Hope gets past my antibaby radar because the pregnancy happens offscreen and it's a show about a single dad and his wacky family and friends than it is about a baby - and while Hope is clearly a source of joy, taking care of her is also shown to be sometimes exhuasting, expensive, boring, and stressful. And I see more effort to include Hope onscreen - being fed, being carried around by/sitting with family members, in her crib - than a lot of other shows who insist on introducing a baby. For an offbeat sitcom there's more truth in it than many dramas where babies are a series of Hallmark/Kodak moments.
Baby without the boring bits in canon
Generally pregnancy is a great way to make the woman an incubator who's major value is that her uterus is occupied and to stop her from doing her usual activities. Finally it seems to sinking in to some writers that this not what some viewers want to see; they tuned in to see ass kicking, world saving, and intergalatic adventures. So in No Ordinary Family and Fringe we had rapidly advancing pregnancies, and in Dr Who the pregnancy happened offscreen while Amy's mind at least was still off having adventures. Dr Who would get bonus points for who the child becomes but I believe it's another case of retcon rather than a plan the writers have been working on for years.
Good babyfic in fanfic
I've come across occasional good family/babyfic, mostly in the LotS fandom. When it remains about the adults, when there is some realism, when the children are allowed to grow up quite quickly and develop personalities, it can be compelling. But too much schmultz turns me off - and this applies to all genres of fic.
Bad babyfic in fanfic
Take your favourite kickass heroine and remove her brains and personality. Make her obsessed with her Man [or occasionally woman] and having Babies. Make sure pregnancy is really easy - unless it's angst and shows how she's willing to die to reproduce - and make sure she has lots of babies. Make sure there are never any emotional or financial difficulties from filling the house up with eight kids named after every other charcter in the show, despite the fact the research shows that couples experience less happiness [and sleep, along with suffering from the obvious financial impact] in the year immediately after having a child. Remember, children are Hallmark moments; yay a baby, and then hide it in its room until it is old enough to cause teenage drama.
For bonus points, take your heroine who is one or several of : over forty, canonically sterile, already has grown up kids, is canonically childfree. For super bonus points set the scene after an apocalypse when there's a lack of food, water, medical care and there's an abundance of orphans who need good homes. Then make your heroine who really ought to be at the forefront of putting society back together, pregnant.
I'm better than you because I'm a parent
For the first half of the season, every episode of Hawaii Five-Oh had Danny pretty much word for word say 'I HAVE A DAUGHTER'. Yes, Danny, we know. Oddly, when his daughter and ex-wife had actually storylines onscreen with him, he stopped mentioning it every five minutes, and being a really good dad but not using it as an excuse for McGarret to slow down when driving. Also, Rachel is a nice kid, with a nice personality and defining characteristics.
Stil, the 'don't hurt me, I'm pregnant/I have kids' trope pisses me off a lot. Your life is not worth more than others just because your reproductive system works. You don't get to reason with a gunman that you are more valuable because you had once had a one night stand and are now a parent. Think about it; who is more valualbe in a life-saving scenario? The man with three kids or the single man without? Easy choice? Well, what if the man with kids is a drug user who beat his wife up so badly he hospitalised her? Or if he walked out on his family and hasn't even seen his kids in three years? What if the single man is working on a vaccine that can save lives? What if he's the sole carer for his elderly mother? Not so easy now?
And given the amount of children who sadly get neglected, abused or even killed by their parents, I call bs on the 'being a parent always makes you a better person' trope.
You're not normal
Okay, it's not just babies that destroy a woman's characterisaton, it can be a man. She's head over heels and now her Calling takes a backseat to Love of Her Life. Richard in Legend of the Seeker is actually more guilty of this than Kahlan, admittedly - Kahlan being firm about putting her Confessor duties first - but LotS has a somewhat different approach to gender roles. Buffy on the other hand was never less effective as the Slayer as when she was in love.
Please, writers, do not give us awesome women in extraordinary circumstances and then turn them into stereotypes of everyday women [again, I'm watching genre tv not soap operas]. Think: what plot lines would a tv writer use as development for a male character? How far down the list is Being a Father? How many other things are on the list? Now, when it comes to character development for a female, how many things are on the list? A lot less, I'm thinking. And Romantic Engagement is probably top of the list, and Motherhood is probably within the top three.
And for the childfree, the infertile childless, the trans-women, the asexuals and aromantics, most lesbians and many bisexuals [in terms of gender of partner chosen by writers] and single people everywhere it's a slap in the face, another reminder that they are not normal. Because every woman has to want and have a husband and a baby.
If you want to be edgy and subversive have abortions happen. Have adoptions happen more frequently. Have genuinely childfree characters who don't change their mind when 'love interest of the week' shows up. Have more stories about people who had a bad relationship with their parents and were raised by their aunts/uncles/older siblings. Or maybe give us a future setting where babies are all grown in petri dishes and explore what that would mean for society. Don't just think 'what can we do to develop this woman's character? I know, give her a baby!'. Because you're not developing her. You're making it about her offspring.
Further Reading
Childfree article at Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childfree
Hollywood Pregnancy, the Media & the Childfree: http://technorati.com/entertainment/celebrity/article/hollywood-pregnancy-the-media-the-childfree/
Fact or Fiction: Childfree Couples Are Happier than Couples with Kids : http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/complete-without-kids/201103/fact-or-fiction-childfree-couples-are-happier-couples-kids
Some famous people who didn’t have kids . . . : http://brianhassett.com/2010/06/people-who-dont-have-kids/#more-1058
Bolivia [metaphorical] http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuff/bolivia/
For the purposes of this meta, 'babyfic' is, to me, a subset of the 'family' genre and possibly the 'romance' category, which is another culprit for what I want to talk about it. Babyfic occurs when a female character without children [or, somewhat more rarely, has grown-up children] gets pregnant. This is about why I abhor the majority of babyfic; because most of the time it's done badly, more often and more badly than romance - which is often also incredibly badly handled, especially where the female character is concerned.
I'm going to talk about why it irks me so much, how it's badly handled and also when it is done well [both in canon and fic] with multifandom examples, and why I find that it's overall the worst trope for a female character apart from being 'fridged'.
This isn't what I signed up for, or 'where'd my role model go?', aka 'this is another reason for me to prefer watching men'
Fandomwise, the quickest way to get me to jump ship is turn it into 'babyfic'. If I wanted babyfic I'd watch soaps and Private Practice and wouldn't have finally quit Grey's Anatomy. I watch shows with awesome women doing awesome things - or awesome men doing awesome things, or both - and the moment there's a pregnancy it's all about the fetus and how DANGEROUS everything is, and then it's all about the baby. It doesn't matter if you were the Slayer, now you're a Mother and it's the most Important Job in the World and the Only Thing You Are [vomit].
You don't get it so much with women who are already mothers; they'll often be honest about the highs and lows of parenthood. But apparantly every pregnancy is wanted and usually easy when it happens onscreen, and afterwards the children rarely warrant a mention unless it's to show how wonderful their parents are.
The women I most love are those I identify with, role models, or the women I'd want to friends with. And since babies are not in my future, I find it disappointing when a women I'm identifying with gets pregnant - often without any thought to it [birth control doesn't exist or is incredibly unreliable in media]. Thus I often find myself drawn to male characters over females, because they will never [Jack Harkness aside] get pregnant and spend episode after episode waxing on about their fecundity.
Bad babyfic in canon - a few examples
Teyla in Stargate: Atlantis; I'd have rather just Teyla gone missing with the rest of her people in SGA instead of writing in the actress's pregnancy. Featured a ridiculous sentient Gary Stu fetus that could fly spaceships with it's undeveloped mind; also that it was part wraith or whatever meant it was a constant target for attack by everyone in the galaxy and pretty much too dangerous to live. Teyla's entire last seasons became all about the pregnancy and protecting the Gary Stu, and she rarely got to just go out and kick ass to protect the team. Had she punched Sheppard in the nose for telling her wasn't allowed on the team anymore because of the fetus, she'd have kept my full respect. On her homeworld, she'd still have to have fled from and fought the Wraith, pregnant or not, and Sheppard's paternalistic attitude pissed me off.
Almost everyone from Grey's Anatomy - [see below for the exceptions] Particuarly Mark's obnoxious daughter, Mark and his obnoxiousness about he wanted a baby that ruined his relationship with another woman, Owen Hunt for pressuring his wife to 'grow up' and have a baby with him, and everything to do with Calleigh - the Arizona giving up her childfree identity so easily just so she could continue to date Calleigh not only didn't ring true for most actual childfree people, it contributed to the 'you'll change your mind when you meet the right person' myth. I am a member of a few childfree forums here and elsewhere and when one partner wants a child it's almost always a deal breaker. Way to uphold a socially conservative trope.
Bones - I stopped watching after the Zach debacle but I'd have stopped the moment talk came up about giving Brennan a baby. She was childfree, canonically established. But Booth thinks this is selfish; because nothing says selfless like adding to an overpopulated world, or having a child because you think your genes are superior. Booth's genetics arguement doesn't hold water; Brennan is a genius but her brother isn't [ditto for Big Bang Theory's Sheldon compared to his two siblings]; and her genes are only half the equation unless he's suggesting she clone herself to preserve her knowledge and skills. Far less selfish and more appropriate a legacy would be a scholarship fund to help gifted but poor students achieve the education they desired, and would let her name live on at the same time.
I think Legend of the Seeker would have been this way; they chickened out of killing male confessors twice, and Kahlan wandered round all dreamy eyed whenever the subject of babies came up. The second Kahlan got pregnant Richard was overly concerned for her safety. I'd actually not have wanted to see a third season that was all about the baybeez. the retconning that Cara had a child bothered me - it felt like a throwaway plotline that nonetheless changes who she is. Fanfic writers spend more time developing the theme, that maybe she and Rahl were more closely linked than canon suggested/allowed, and that makes more sense. [I also like to imagine that Mord'Sith don't pay much attention to being pregnant, and still go the taverns and swill ale, have sex, and ageil anyone who gets in their way. Any fetus that survives is worthy of being born, any that doesn't was weak]
Good Babyfic in canon - characters and shows that don't make me rage
Cristina Yang in Grey's Anatomy had an ecpotic pregnancy that wasn't planned and was on the verge of terminating anyway; one of the last episodes I watched however her husband was pressuring her to 'grow up' and have a baby - though this wasn't in her life plan - so she may have caved to his demands. Bailey managed to become mother without losing herself, but she was also upfront about how she'd have terminated the pregnancy if she hadn't wanted it, and how it would affect her career. She worried afterwards that she hadn't been keeping as good an eye on her residents, becoming a bit more distracted and compassionate, but she soon found a balance. Bailey is an all round awesome character, and motherhood is a facet of her life and not her entire identity.
Daenyrys in Game of Thrones is similarly awesome and she didn't exactly have much choice about having sex, using birth control, etc. She's even been using her pregnancy to solidify her power base - though I don't know what will happen in the finale.
Raising Hope gets past my antibaby radar because the pregnancy happens offscreen and it's a show about a single dad and his wacky family and friends than it is about a baby - and while Hope is clearly a source of joy, taking care of her is also shown to be sometimes exhuasting, expensive, boring, and stressful. And I see more effort to include Hope onscreen - being fed, being carried around by/sitting with family members, in her crib - than a lot of other shows who insist on introducing a baby. For an offbeat sitcom there's more truth in it than many dramas where babies are a series of Hallmark/Kodak moments.
Baby without the boring bits in canon
Generally pregnancy is a great way to make the woman an incubator who's major value is that her uterus is occupied and to stop her from doing her usual activities. Finally it seems to sinking in to some writers that this not what some viewers want to see; they tuned in to see ass kicking, world saving, and intergalatic adventures. So in No Ordinary Family and Fringe we had rapidly advancing pregnancies, and in Dr Who the pregnancy happened offscreen while Amy's mind at least was still off having adventures. Dr Who would get bonus points for who the child becomes but I believe it's another case of retcon rather than a plan the writers have been working on for years.
Good babyfic in fanfic
I've come across occasional good family/babyfic, mostly in the LotS fandom. When it remains about the adults, when there is some realism, when the children are allowed to grow up quite quickly and develop personalities, it can be compelling. But too much schmultz turns me off - and this applies to all genres of fic.
Bad babyfic in fanfic
Take your favourite kickass heroine and remove her brains and personality. Make her obsessed with her Man [or occasionally woman] and having Babies. Make sure pregnancy is really easy - unless it's angst and shows how she's willing to die to reproduce - and make sure she has lots of babies. Make sure there are never any emotional or financial difficulties from filling the house up with eight kids named after every other charcter in the show, despite the fact the research shows that couples experience less happiness [and sleep, along with suffering from the obvious financial impact] in the year immediately after having a child. Remember, children are Hallmark moments; yay a baby, and then hide it in its room until it is old enough to cause teenage drama.
For bonus points, take your heroine who is one or several of : over forty, canonically sterile, already has grown up kids, is canonically childfree. For super bonus points set the scene after an apocalypse when there's a lack of food, water, medical care and there's an abundance of orphans who need good homes. Then make your heroine who really ought to be at the forefront of putting society back together, pregnant.
I'm better than you because I'm a parent
For the first half of the season, every episode of Hawaii Five-Oh had Danny pretty much word for word say 'I HAVE A DAUGHTER'. Yes, Danny, we know. Oddly, when his daughter and ex-wife had actually storylines onscreen with him, he stopped mentioning it every five minutes, and being a really good dad but not using it as an excuse for McGarret to slow down when driving. Also, Rachel is a nice kid, with a nice personality and defining characteristics.
Stil, the 'don't hurt me, I'm pregnant/I have kids' trope pisses me off a lot. Your life is not worth more than others just because your reproductive system works. You don't get to reason with a gunman that you are more valuable because you had once had a one night stand and are now a parent. Think about it; who is more valualbe in a life-saving scenario? The man with three kids or the single man without? Easy choice? Well, what if the man with kids is a drug user who beat his wife up so badly he hospitalised her? Or if he walked out on his family and hasn't even seen his kids in three years? What if the single man is working on a vaccine that can save lives? What if he's the sole carer for his elderly mother? Not so easy now?
And given the amount of children who sadly get neglected, abused or even killed by their parents, I call bs on the 'being a parent always makes you a better person' trope.
You're not normal
Okay, it's not just babies that destroy a woman's characterisaton, it can be a man. She's head over heels and now her Calling takes a backseat to Love of Her Life. Richard in Legend of the Seeker is actually more guilty of this than Kahlan, admittedly - Kahlan being firm about putting her Confessor duties first - but LotS has a somewhat different approach to gender roles. Buffy on the other hand was never less effective as the Slayer as when she was in love.
Please, writers, do not give us awesome women in extraordinary circumstances and then turn them into stereotypes of everyday women [again, I'm watching genre tv not soap operas]. Think: what plot lines would a tv writer use as development for a male character? How far down the list is Being a Father? How many other things are on the list? Now, when it comes to character development for a female, how many things are on the list? A lot less, I'm thinking. And Romantic Engagement is probably top of the list, and Motherhood is probably within the top three.
And for the childfree, the infertile childless, the trans-women, the asexuals and aromantics, most lesbians and many bisexuals [in terms of gender of partner chosen by writers] and single people everywhere it's a slap in the face, another reminder that they are not normal. Because every woman has to want and have a husband and a baby.
If you want to be edgy and subversive have abortions happen. Have adoptions happen more frequently. Have genuinely childfree characters who don't change their mind when 'love interest of the week' shows up. Have more stories about people who had a bad relationship with their parents and were raised by their aunts/uncles/older siblings. Or maybe give us a future setting where babies are all grown in petri dishes and explore what that would mean for society. Don't just think 'what can we do to develop this woman's character? I know, give her a baby!'. Because you're not developing her. You're making it about her offspring.
Further Reading
Childfree article at Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childfree
Hollywood Pregnancy, the Media & the Childfree: http://technorati.com/entertainment/celebrity/article/hollywood-pregnancy-the-media-the-childfree/
Fact or Fiction: Childfree Couples Are Happier than Couples with Kids : http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/complete-without-kids/201103/fact-or-fiction-childfree-couples-are-happier-couples-kids
Some famous people who didn’t have kids . . . : http://brianhassett.com/2010/06/people-who-dont-have-kids/#more-1058
Bolivia [metaphorical] http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuff/bolivia/
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