meridian_rose | Legend of the Seeker fic: What If

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Legend of the Seeker fic: What If

Title: What If
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Pairing/Characters: Kahlan/Rahl
Rating: 15/R
Word Count: 1281
Prompt: For the

100_tales prompt #085 anger
Summary: AU that addresses what might have happened if Kahlan had succeeded in killing Nicholas Rahl
Warnings: Spoilers for Reckoning. Character Death (Minor character)
Notes: Inspired by a discussion at the

peoplespalace; thanks to everyone who participated and who gave me so many ideas, and answered my questions about the LotS canon/SoT canon.
I also want to rec

hrhrionastar's fic on the same subject (it was a very inspiring discussion!) Master - some powerful imagery and a fantastic ending. My take on the subject is not so dark and probably much less realistic.

Rahl burst into the room. Kahlan took a step back, the bloody dagger held out in one shaking hand.

"What have you done?" he demanded. "What have you done?"

He advanced on her; she backed away into a corner. Rahl knelt at Nicholas's side. His son was dead.

Rahl let out a scream of rage and grief. He got to his feet, eyes burning with tears and ran over to Kahlan, pinning her shoulders against the wall, heedless of the danger, for she was still armed. No matter; the dagger fell from her grasp – it seemed she had no stomach to kill him, too.

"Why?" he demanded. It was taking every ounce of his self control not to snap her neck in his anger.

"He was evil," she said and he saw she was weeping too. "I should have killed him the moment he was born. No male confessor has compassion within him. His powers consume him and he seeks to control everyone and everything. Nicholas made his closest friend cut off a finger just to please him! Do you think a damaged soul like his would care about anyone else in his hunger for power? No! Not even me, his mother. Not even you!"

Rahl remembered his own father, Panis Rahl, and how he had murdered him. The son would seek to replace the father, eventually, and a Confessor child might well act sooner rather than later…

"He was our child," Rahl said, his initial rage giving way to unbearable grief. "How could you kill your own child?"

Kahlan whimpered as his fingers dug into her shoulders but she tipped her chin up, even as tears dripped from it. "I was trained for this possibility. Every Confessor is. And how many children have you killed, Darken? How many babies died at Brennidon alone?"

He released her so suddenly she almost fell to the floor. Brennidon. He hadn't thought of that in years, beyond that it had been just one more failure in his attempts to destroy the Seeker.

"But Nicholas was our child," he said again. He looked again at the crumpled body and fell to his knees.

But you killed Cara's child, what passed for his conscience whispered traitorously. You let her pregnancy continue, thinking a daughter born of such a powerful Mord'Sith, coupled with your bloodline, would be the most splendid Mistress that D'Hara had ever seen. But a son; no, such a bastard offspring could not be allowed to live and challenge your authority. You have killed your children before, though never with your own hands as she has dared to.

"Will you kill me now?" Kahlan whispered.

"No." His own voice was barely more than a whisper. He crawled over to Nicholas, touched the boy's golden hair. "What purpose would it serve to kill the last living Confessor?"

And for Confessors suicide was a sin, unless there were extenuating circumstances. She wouldn't take her own life, not when she'd come this far, given herself to him this much. No, he wouldn't kill her; let her live and suffer this loss as he now would.

"I didn't want to do it," Kahlan said. "I wanted him to grow up uncorrupted by his gift. I wanted it so badly."

Rahl tensed as she approached him. She crouched down and put one hesitant hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. It had to be done, but I didn't do it to hurt you. It hurts me too, Darken, more than you will ever know." She stroked his hair. "I had no idea you loved him this much."

"Of course I loved him," Rahl said bitterly. "He was my child and I was going to give him the life my father denied me."

He'd done his best to do so thus far; it was a cruel fate that his magical bloodline and his love for Nicholas hadn't been enough to save the boy from the terrible fate befalling all male Confessors. Nicholas had been more wilful of late, but Rahl had taken that for youthful enthusiasm and Rahl-ish authority. He hadn't seen – hadn't wanted to see – the truth of it, but Kahlan had. She'd done what he could never have done. He might have ordered a Mord'Sith to kill Nicholas, but to do it himself...Kahlan had strength and detachment beyond even his reserves.

"Let me give you another child," Kahlan said. "A daughter. I was not meant to bear a son. Surely it will never happen again. Let us make a daughter. She will have your eyes and my hair, and you can name her."

He raised his tear stained face at that. "A daughter?" A daughter would surely love her father, would be as devoted to him as he would be to her. He thought of Jennsen's easy displays of affection for him (before she regained her memory); she had given him a taste of female familial affection beyond anything the Mord'Sith could offer.

"Yes! You could name her after your mother."

He shook his head fiercely. "No," he snapped. "I would never bestow such an ill-starred name on my child." Yet his denial was of the name, not of the possibility of such a thing. It startled him that he could even consider it while his son lay at his feet, his body barely cold.

Kahlan nodded. "As you wish." She leaned over and kissed Nicholas's forehead. "Forgive me for not being the mother you deserved. I tried so hard to save you from yourself."

They sat a moment longer, locked in their grief.

"If the people know the truth they will demand justice," Rahl said, turning to practical matters for a moment. It was, after all, the mark of a leader to be able to put aside their feelings and take action as necessary. "They might turn against you." They might also blame Rahl and that was unacceptable.

"What are you suggesting?" Kahlan asked with a frown.

"Follow my lead." Rahl gathered up the body in his arms and gestured to the door. Kahlan nodded and opened it. The guard outside paled at the sight of the dead child.

"There's been a terrible accident," Rahl said. "My son is dead. Send word around the palace that we are in mourning."

Rahl took Nicholas to the crypt himself, and he and Kahlan wrapped the body in linen sheets so no-one would see the knife wound in the boy's chest. Rahl would have a stonemason construct a suitable sarcophagus for the prince, but for now a simple wooden box had to suffice.

Rahl left the palace after observing three days of mourning at his son's side. He couldn't bear to be near Kahlan; he needed time to think. He travelled his lands, inspecting the towns and villages, and accepting the people's condolences.

At night he would lie awake for hours, wondering if Nicholas had been truly beyond redemption – and if there hadn't been some other way he might have been controlled. A rad'a'han, perhaps. He knew Kahlan must have thought the risk too great to let Nicholas live even under such restriction.

At last he stopped tormenting himself with what if's; what was done, was done. The question was, could he forgive Kahlan her crime?

A month later he returned and found her sitting by the fire. Grief had left her wan, with dark shadows under her eyes, but she was still beautiful. He knelt by her side.

"A daughter," he said. "But if you ever harm her, I will kill you, last Confessor or no."

"A daughter," Kahlan repeated, with a sparkle in her eyes that he hadn't seen for a long time.

This time things would be different.

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Definitely much happier than mine :) I like that Kahlan reminds Rahl of the kids at Brennidon, and then he remembers about Cara's son--he does seem somewhat hypocritical about this topic in the show.

"I'm sorry. It had to be done, but I didn't do it to hurt you. It hurts me too, Darken, more than you will ever know." She stroked his hair. "I had no idea you loved him this much."Maybe Kahlan's affection for Darken makes the difference? An interesting question.

Of course, now you run into the opposite problem: if Darken and Kahlan have a daughter, and Kahlan trains her to return Richard to his timeline...

I'd like to see Kahlan's point of view here, since it seems like she could either be sincere, or just a really skilled manipulator. She's getting what she wanted--a Confessor daughter, to bring Richard back. That possibility, naturally, doesn't occur to Darken, but still...thinking about writing a sequel? :D

Her affection for him is the reason he doesn't kill her, you mean? Maybe. He seems so starved of affection that it probably would influence his decision.

I saw Kahlan here as rejoicing in the fact she'll still get to carry out her plan to alter the timeline; but seeing Rahl genuinely grieving has planted a seed of doubt in her mind - maybe he's not just a monster after all...which brings us to where you are in "Princess Rahl", with Kahlan starting to be torn between two possible futures.

I was barely planning on writing this :D - I didn't mind doing it after I'd read yours because what I had in mind was very different in tone and resolution. For a sequel I'd worry I'd be straying into much the same territory as "Princess Rahl".

Her affection for him is the reason he doesn't kill her, you mean? Maybe. He seems so starved of affection that it probably would influence his decision. Yes. After all, he seems to barely know what love really looks like, making him very brave in a sense--to try and have a family, I mean. If Kahlan is able to take advantage of that, it could give her more personal control over him.

For a sequel I'd worry I'd be straying into much the same territory as "Princess Rahl". Don't worry about it. Not that I'm trying to pressure you--just, if the plot bunny shows up, don't think you have to stop on my account. For one thing, in Princess Rahl Nila and Nicholas are growing up together--already different. Plus, I think, even given the same premise, that Darken and Kahlan have a daughter, there are a lot of different directions to go. How torn is Kahlan, between Richard and her daughter? How about Darken? Does he see his daughter as a Jennsen-like dependent, someone who will love and obey him in return for his protection? A possible heir someday, like in "Down Through the Years"? Is he thinking about the heir question at all? And the daughter herself--how aware is she of her family's history? When she finally finds out Kahlan's whole plan, will she be more angry or hurt? How will she react? Etc, etc. (I could keep going, I assure you.)

Anyway, just a thought. There can never be enough Reckoning related discussion or fic, IMO :D

If I get the urge to write more I'll run with it then :)

I think it's so interesting that several of us are exploring these questions now.

From the first time I watched "Reckoning" I was bothered by the whole "using my child to get Richard back so she will never exist" plan, but every other fic or discussion I read always focused on the "oh, isn't it so romantic and wonderful that Kahlan would endure this horrible marriage and sacrifice herself in order to bring Richard back" angle.

Until Vorq wrote "Down Through the Years" last July I had started to think I was the only one who was rather horrified by Kahlan's plan for her child. It was good to see that there was at least someone else out there who was a little troubled by the whole thing. I love that now people are exploring so many ways this could have gone, and are not just looking at the Kahlan/Richard being reunited plot.

I know it's just my first fic, but in mine I try to address some of these issues you raise from my own particular viewpoint; i.e.- The different ways that Darken and Kahlan view and relate to their daughter, and, especially to me, how their child respondes to their expectations. For me the whole situation is ripe for real tragedy and heartbreak on so many levels. Another person might see other possibilities.

I know how Rachel responds to finding out about her mother's plan, and I can't wait to see how Nila will react.

It will be interesting to see what different directions we go. I'm not nearly as accomplished a writer as you and Lisa are though, so hope I can pull off something that is even half as good as what you create.

"Reckoning" always seems to generate more intense discussion at PP than any other Seeker episode. And the discussion always seems to center on Kahlan!

Whoa - This is much longer than I meant it to be. Sorry!

Jeez - I practically wrote a book! This episode does get me wound up.

Hey, it's a good discussion topic! :) And you're doing great; and you will also improve with every fic you write. It's an ongoing process and you learn all the time from everything you read and write and discuss :)

I think we focus on Kahlan because we know Rahl's motives, we know Richard's motives, but it's Kahlan who is making the real decisions and her motives that are most questionable :)

I agree with Lisa--both that as a writer, one improves with experience (and you're doing a great job--can't wait to see what happens with Rachel), and that Kahlan's decisions are where the action of the episode really is.

I find Kahlan's plan (have a child so that child can erase her own existence) to be seriously flawed--practically and morally--but I think I see why she came up with it at first. After all, she's clearly out of options, with Richard and Zedd both gone--even if she could escape, where could she go?

For me the question is what would change, after she becomes a mother. Does she still stick to her 'get Richard back no matter what the cost' plan, or does she decide nothing's worth sacrificing her child--or something in between those two extremes?

I could go on about Reckoning for ages, too--and I love our discussions :) I know I've improved a lot since meeting everyone at PP--especially you and Lisa. Your comments always make me smile, and always make me think. :D

You and Riona are so amazing. Both of your speculations are thought provoking and so well-done. Each Kahlan is believeable in her own way.

Your Darken, like the one I am writing in my story, is becomeing aware of the danger a male Confessor would pose to himsef at some point, and thinks about the love he could give and receive with a daughter. That was a major impetus for Darken being quite happy with a daughter in "Serpent".

The comparison to Cara's son and to the children of Brennidon is well-taken. I still have a problem with Kahlan being able to make up her mind so quickly about Nicholas after having raised him for so many years. Surely she must have some happy memories of him.

I have the same question as Riona - Is part of Kahlan's tenderness toward Darken and suggestion that they have a daughter manipulation on her part to get back on track with the plan to raise a Confessor daughter to bring Richard back?

Very interesting point that Darken would have welcomed Cara's child if it had been a girl. I had never thought of that before.

This whole discussion has spawned all sorts of great fic ideas hasn't it.

Thanks so much for this - I love the "what-if" speculations.

The comparisons seemed valid; Rahl must accept what Kahlan has done or be a hypocrite! It was a way to soften his anger somewhat. And the idea of Cara's child came to me while writing it; it was something that finally made sense for me in his allowing her to birth the child at all (and tied in nicely with his respect, even affection, for Cara)

I saw Kahlan here as rejoicing in the fact she'll still get to carry out her plan to alter the timeline; but seeing Rahl genuinely grieving has planted a seed of doubt in her mind - maybe he's not just a monster after all...which brings us to the situation in Riona's "Princess Rahl", with Kahlan starting to be torn between two possible futures.

The discussion was amazing, as always. I always learn something new, see things from a different angle, and come away inspired :)

Very interesting point that Darken would have welcomed Cara's child if it had been a girl. I had never thought of that before. Me neither--I love that, it's such a good idea, to explain why Darken lets her carry the pregnancy to term. More AU ideas abound... ;)

Thanks so much for this - I love the "what-if" speculations. Absolutely, on both counts :)

Oh, I love Rahl/Kahlan pairing. Really cute fic.

Thank you :D Glad you enjoyed it!

this is great!!! well done sweetie!

Thank you :D

(reply from suspended user)

Thank you and of course not, feel free :)

Yes, she is calm; it provides juxtaposition against Rahl's rage for one thing. I had it in mind that she's done what she's been trained to do and now it's done there's no point getting hysterical - though I did let her grieve. Even Rahl wondered at her detachment, but it's in her to be ruthless as we see in "Torn".

(reply from suspended user)

I'm glad they still thought of themselves as members of a family even through their grief. That they didn't turn away from each other during this time makes me hopeful that they'll be happy together someday.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for happy endings.;)

I liked Rahl's honesty with himself about his feelings, Kahlan's motivations, and his own culpability on the matter of murder. I didn't expect to see it but am relieved by it.

Thanks for posting. Loved the end.

-Ellie

Thank you so much. Thanks for reading and leaving a thoughtful comment :)

You're very welcome, of course. Least I can do when you trouble to write a well thought out story.:)

Thanks again.

Very interesting to see how things might have worked if their feelings for one another and Nicholas had softened. I really enjoyed it. :)

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed what is a different take on their relationship :)

I've just found it and I love it!

And I want a sequel so much!!
Surely Kahlan can't be that blind and cold hearted.
I want to see her torn in doubts, crying for Richard, slowly developing feelings for Darken and their daughter and denying it and accepting it, wavering, constantly questioning herself.

*close my eyes dreaming*

Thank you :D I hadn't planned on a sequel but I never say never. I don't see Kahlan as coldhearted so much as practical here - I hadn't decided if she's softening for Rahl or still just plotting to restore the timeline.
I highly recommend

hrhrionastar's Princess Rahl fic and

becky16's "Serpent's Tooth" fic (both ongoing) as fics that explore Kahlan/Rahl and potential feelings between them.

Yeah, I'm following these stories and they are awesome!
But you can never have enough awesomeness, right?

I would really enjoy your further insight into the Darken/Kahlan relationship)))

Your Darken and Kahlan are kind of very believable persons. Their grief band them together, and maybe somewhere lives their love?)
Thank you for writing it.

I'm so glad you thought they were believable, because I was worried about Darken in particular being a bit OOC; I did see them as united in grief so I'm pleased that came through. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :D

And I'm glad - I find it, read it, enjoy it))
Wish you many muses and a lot new fics with lord and lady Rahl 'happily ever after & angst, epic, Rahl's drama style, etc' xD

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Legend of the Seeker fic: What If

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