I don't suppose there is anything you can say to someone after that. It just seems so hurtful a thing to say; to be on the receiving end of that is to hear that you're doing this on purpose, then, and so adds frustration and maybe guilt when you're struggling already. I thought the 'do' list was an incredibly helpful resource, but the 'don't' list is mind boggling, that people need to be told some of these things.