I try to not make blanket offers of "I'm always here" now because it's honestly not always going to be true (if I'm having a bad day/week/month and can't even handle my own life, I'm not even going to noticed that someone else needs support) and I don't want to be that friend who sets you up just to let you down.
My experience has made me very cynical about those "You can always talk to me" offers now because when I hit rock bottom, all but one of my friends bailed on me. And apparently a couple of them told her that she shouldn't be enabling me because I was a grown woman who should deal with my own problems. (What's the correct way to have an emotional breakdown? If I don't open up about my feelings I'm being stubborn and repressing and I deserve my problems since I won't even ask for help, but if I'm honest then I'm being a negative whiner and if I ask for help I'm being needy and shouldn't be dumping my problems on other people.)
And I even understand the "can you please stop being so negative because you're making it worse" attitude. Sometimes the best thing you can do is change the subject to break the cycle of ruminating on upsetting things. But… you don't just interrupt someone in the middle of trying to open up. Also, even if you're thinking it (even if it's true!) it's never helpful to tell someone, "You're being too negative." I think the kindest thing you can do for a friend in need is just be with them.
You are definitely not alone. It's just that depression is just such an isolating experience, it always feels that way.
Re: humans and fandom and depression
My experience has made me very cynical about those "You can always talk to me" offers now because when I hit rock bottom, all but one of my friends bailed on me. And apparently a couple of them told her that she shouldn't be enabling me because I was a grown woman who should deal with my own problems. (What's the correct way to have an emotional breakdown? If I don't open up about my feelings I'm being stubborn and repressing and I deserve my problems since I won't even ask for help, but if I'm honest then I'm being a negative whiner and if I ask for help I'm being needy and shouldn't be dumping my problems on other people.)
And I even understand the "can you please stop being so negative because you're making it worse" attitude. Sometimes the best thing you can do is change the subject to break the cycle of ruminating on upsetting things. But… you don't just interrupt someone in the middle of trying to open up. Also, even if you're thinking it (even if it's true!) it's never helpful to tell someone, "You're being too negative." I think the kindest thing you can do for a friend in need is just be with them.
You are definitely not alone. It's just that depression is just such an isolating experience, it always feels that way.