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Asexual Awareness Week – day seven
I started a day late so I'm finishing a day late. There'll be one more final thoughts post later or tomorrow.
Day seven – visibility and representation
There are not that many examples of asexual characters, though the One Of Us tag on the One% world gives both fictional examples and mentions real people.
The major – ie mainstream - examples of asexual people tend to be the Doctor (Dr Who), Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) and Sherlock (Sherlock, BBC). They are all interesting characters in their own right. However there are significant problems with holding them up as asexual role models or examples:
They're all white
They're all men, despite the fact that more women readily identify as asexual (which might be due to social pressure on men to have sex as previously discussed) – please excuse my use of gender binary in this example
They're all "othered" in multiple ways – one is an alien, one is often read by reviewers as someone with Asperger's, and Sherlock says he isn't a psychopath but "a high functioning sociopath" (a label disagreed with often, including here which is interesting because it points out that 'sexual promiscuity and numerous short-term relationships' are traits prevalent in a sociopathic person.)
They all fit the 'purity' myth to some degree; Sheldon won't even drink coffee because it's a drug, the Doctor doesn't drink alcohol, Sherlock's only vice is smoking and he's working on giving it up
They're all geniuses - it ties in with the purity myth, "I don't drink I don't want to damage my precious wonderful snowflake brain cells" – and so spend a lot of time talking down to those around them who are just too stupid to understand. The Doctor doesn't always dumb things down, but he does sometimes treat companions like young children – ah, they're so imaginative but so naïve!
They do not use the label for themselves
There are lesser known characters such as New Zealand's Shortland Street's Gerald, still a white male, but one who discovers and accepts asexuality as an orientation and the right label for him. Poppy from a show called Huge is a rare female using the label for herself.
The TV Tropes page on asexuality has a list of examples from all media forms though some are questionable (Sherlock, again). It's interesting that this page has a more tolerant and sympathetic view of asexuality than many mainstream news outlets, clearly stating that "It should be noted that asexuals are not incapable of sex or falling in love. Asexuality is often the lack of sexual attraction rather than sex drive or emotional attraction. As such, asexuals who are more indifferent to sex rather than actively averse to it may be quite capable of sex and masturbation (though this is not usually directed at any object of desire) if they need to. Asexuals in romantic relationships with sexual individuals, for example, may have no problem having intercourse with their partners for the sake of said relationship even if the act itself may not have the same significance or appeal as it would to sexual individuals. Unlike the aforementioned fully sexual individuals, asexuals do not actively desire said sexual actions and will not miss said acts at all if denied to them" and
"It is unfortunately common for some people to express cynicism towards the idea of asexuality, or to insist that it is simply impossible for two people to have a close, platonic relationship where sex is not involved."
It also mentions the much maligned episode of House where he (himself a fanfic version of Sherlock named House rather than Holmes, crotchety genius) is proven right that anyone who doesn't want sex is sick or lying. This is the sort of visibility asexual people do not need. There's enough bias from culture and religion telling us we're broken.
Outside the Mainstream
What about fanfic? It's common to queer characters and unfortunately it's still common practice to erase queerness, especially bisexuality. Asexuals rarely get a mention, though there seems to be a fair amount of Avengers fic dealing with the issue. However most asexual characters find themselves having sex with their love interest, otherwise it's not a real relationship, right? /sarcasm/
This post talks about fanfic, including the spectrum of asexuality and the "dearth of ace fics" featuring anyone who isn't a white cis man. It goes on to say that in many of the fics they have read, an asexual person ("Sam") develops a relationship with a sexually active person ("Jo") and:
"in 90% (not a scientific statistic) of fics I have read, is that sooner or later Sam and Jo will end up in bed together. Sam will realise that sex is important to Joe. So Sam, because they love Jo just that much, will go about bringing Jo sexual pleasure, and Sam will enjoy doing this because Jo is enjoying it.
Then they will cuddle and everything will be fine.
Cut to me, clicking out of the fic, feeling utterly dispirited. I thought that maybe this time the fic wouldn’t fall into the narrative that romantic relationships must, in some way, include sex in order to be legitimate. That the asexual character wasn’t required, in some way, to compromise on their identity.
Often in the fic they aren’t doing this, by the way. In fics as written, the asexual character is totally happy with this arrangement. In real life, many asexuals are in sexual relationships and they are happy and fulfilled - some asexuals, whilst they don’t experience sexual attraction, do have libidos and can experience sexual desire. The problem isn’t with this narrative by itself. The problem is when this is the dominant representation of asexual relationships in fandom." [emboldening mine]
It's certainly something I struggle with. I'm far more interested in writing and reading non-sexual aspects of intimacy but I still don't write many asexual characters. I do have one in particular and I do want her to explore sex up to a point – not to engage in PIV sex, however, the only sex that counts for most people. It's difficult to try and show the spectrum of romantic and sexual attraction without potentially being told "they're not asexual they're just frigid" or "no asexual would behave like that".
One more link on fiction: Asexual Lesbians/ Asexual Women in Fiction.
Day seven – visibility and representation
There are not that many examples of asexual characters, though the One Of Us tag on the One% world gives both fictional examples and mentions real people.
The major – ie mainstream - examples of asexual people tend to be the Doctor (Dr Who), Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory) and Sherlock (Sherlock, BBC). They are all interesting characters in their own right. However there are significant problems with holding them up as asexual role models or examples:
They're all white
They're all men, despite the fact that more women readily identify as asexual (which might be due to social pressure on men to have sex as previously discussed) – please excuse my use of gender binary in this example
They're all "othered" in multiple ways – one is an alien, one is often read by reviewers as someone with Asperger's, and Sherlock says he isn't a psychopath but "a high functioning sociopath" (a label disagreed with often, including here which is interesting because it points out that 'sexual promiscuity and numerous short-term relationships' are traits prevalent in a sociopathic person.)
They all fit the 'purity' myth to some degree; Sheldon won't even drink coffee because it's a drug, the Doctor doesn't drink alcohol, Sherlock's only vice is smoking and he's working on giving it up
They're all geniuses - it ties in with the purity myth, "I don't drink I don't want to damage my precious wonderful snowflake brain cells" – and so spend a lot of time talking down to those around them who are just too stupid to understand. The Doctor doesn't always dumb things down, but he does sometimes treat companions like young children – ah, they're so imaginative but so naïve!
They do not use the label for themselves
There are lesser known characters such as New Zealand's Shortland Street's Gerald, still a white male, but one who discovers and accepts asexuality as an orientation and the right label for him. Poppy from a show called Huge is a rare female using the label for herself.
The TV Tropes page on asexuality has a list of examples from all media forms though some are questionable (Sherlock, again). It's interesting that this page has a more tolerant and sympathetic view of asexuality than many mainstream news outlets, clearly stating that "It should be noted that asexuals are not incapable of sex or falling in love. Asexuality is often the lack of sexual attraction rather than sex drive or emotional attraction. As such, asexuals who are more indifferent to sex rather than actively averse to it may be quite capable of sex and masturbation (though this is not usually directed at any object of desire) if they need to. Asexuals in romantic relationships with sexual individuals, for example, may have no problem having intercourse with their partners for the sake of said relationship even if the act itself may not have the same significance or appeal as it would to sexual individuals. Unlike the aforementioned fully sexual individuals, asexuals do not actively desire said sexual actions and will not miss said acts at all if denied to them" and
"It is unfortunately common for some people to express cynicism towards the idea of asexuality, or to insist that it is simply impossible for two people to have a close, platonic relationship where sex is not involved."
It also mentions the much maligned episode of House where he (himself a fanfic version of Sherlock named House rather than Holmes, crotchety genius) is proven right that anyone who doesn't want sex is sick or lying. This is the sort of visibility asexual people do not need. There's enough bias from culture and religion telling us we're broken.
Outside the Mainstream
What about fanfic? It's common to queer characters and unfortunately it's still common practice to erase queerness, especially bisexuality. Asexuals rarely get a mention, though there seems to be a fair amount of Avengers fic dealing with the issue. However most asexual characters find themselves having sex with their love interest, otherwise it's not a real relationship, right? /sarcasm/
This post talks about fanfic, including the spectrum of asexuality and the "dearth of ace fics" featuring anyone who isn't a white cis man. It goes on to say that in many of the fics they have read, an asexual person ("Sam") develops a relationship with a sexually active person ("Jo") and:
"in 90% (not a scientific statistic) of fics I have read, is that sooner or later Sam and Jo will end up in bed together. Sam will realise that sex is important to Joe. So Sam, because they love Jo just that much, will go about bringing Jo sexual pleasure, and Sam will enjoy doing this because Jo is enjoying it.
Then they will cuddle and everything will be fine.
Cut to me, clicking out of the fic, feeling utterly dispirited. I thought that maybe this time the fic wouldn’t fall into the narrative that romantic relationships must, in some way, include sex in order to be legitimate. That the asexual character wasn’t required, in some way, to compromise on their identity.
Often in the fic they aren’t doing this, by the way. In fics as written, the asexual character is totally happy with this arrangement. In real life, many asexuals are in sexual relationships and they are happy and fulfilled - some asexuals, whilst they don’t experience sexual attraction, do have libidos and can experience sexual desire. The problem isn’t with this narrative by itself. The problem is when this is the dominant representation of asexual relationships in fandom." [emboldening mine]
It's certainly something I struggle with. I'm far more interested in writing and reading non-sexual aspects of intimacy but I still don't write many asexual characters. I do have one in particular and I do want her to explore sex up to a point – not to engage in PIV sex, however, the only sex that counts for most people. It's difficult to try and show the spectrum of romantic and sexual attraction without potentially being told "they're not asexual they're just frigid" or "no asexual would behave like that".
One more link on fiction: Asexual Lesbians/ Asexual Women in Fiction.
